Saturday Night on the Toilet (parody of Saturday Night at the Movies by the Drifters)

Saturday night at eight o'clock,
I don't know if I'm gonna go,
But I'm gonna take my laxatives,
And sit on the toilet bowl,
Everybody in the neighbourhood,
Is taking their prescription too,
And we're gonna hit the bogs,
Just like we always do,

Chorus:
A Saturday night on the toilet,
Who cares what paper you read,
When you're clinging to the wash basin,
And hoping that your ass won't bleed,

There's Charman Ultra and Luxury Soft,
And Quilted Velvet too,
But the vascaline I apply afterwards,
Looks alot like banana stew,
There's always lots of leathal smells,
When you are locked inside,
And a blockage in the drain,
About a hundred metres wide,
Chorus