Something Wacky (parody of Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra) 

I know we spend our time,
Drinking cheap unflavoured wine,
And eating undercooked chips,
And if we eat them too quickly,
You'll feel very sickly,
And have salt on your lips,

Then after that we run back home,
And sit on the sofa where we play with some cards,
And then I go and spoil it all,
By saying something wacky like "Your butt is large"

I can see it in your trap,
That you despise the same old crap,
I fed you yesterday,
And though it is a crime to you,
For me it's legal and I do it everyday,

I practice everyday,
To find some weird lines to say,
To make you angry with me,
But then I think I'll wait,
Till I can just tempt fate,
And I am down on one knee,

The time is right,
Your odour rots my head,
Then I turn red,
And oh I cannot see,
And then I go and spoil it all,
By saying something wacky like "Mud looks funny"

The time is right,
Your odour rots my head,
Then I turn red,
And oh I cannot see,
And then I go and spoil it all,
By saying something wacky like "Help me Mammy"

"I need to pee"
"I see you Jimmy"
"He He He He He"