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daniel jackson

The Philosopher - Colonel.

/ Newgroups > alt.philosophy & alt.tv.stargate-sg1 /
/ Forum > TheologyOnline: Philosophy ~ Religion / 06oct02 /
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[It's 8am at the Cheyenne Mountain Stargate Command complex.
In the cafeteria Teal'c enjoys a cup of coffee as Jack O'Neil,
with breakfast on tray in hand, joins him at the table:]
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O'Neil: Good morning, Teal'c.
.
Teal'c: Good morning, Colonel.
.
O: Getting an early start on the day, are you?
.
T: I've been up since 2am.
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O: Good Lord! Why?
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T: Three hours of deep meditation is equivalent to
   your eight hours of sleep.
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O: Right. And what you do with all that extra time?
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T: I'm enrolled in an on-line philosophy program. I
   e-mail my assignments and exams directly to the
   university. It is most convenient.
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O: Philosophy? Why are you studying philosophy?
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T: We do not have philosophers on my world. But this world
   seems to have no end of them. At first, I could not under-
   stand what they were. It seemed ridiculous for a man to
   spend his entire life thinking about the thoughts and
   dreams of other men. But then I realized that freedom
   cannot exist unless one frees the mind first.
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O: So philosophers are men who have freed their minds?
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T: That is correct.
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O: I see. And what are you studying now?
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T: The history of philosophy is not about what.
   It's more about who.
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O: All right then, WHO are you studying now?
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T: Leibniz.
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O: [considers it for a moment, then] Oh, I remember. Gonads.
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T: Monads.
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O: I knew that. I was just testing you.
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T: Of course.
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O: You don't believe me?
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T: You have never shown an interest in philosophy before
   today, O'Neil.
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O: Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do.
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T: [looks skeptical]
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O: This is the best of all possible worlds. What a load of
   bunk! Only someone who's never been off-world could say
   something like that. But we know better than that, don't
   we, Teal'c?
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T: Yes, we do.
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O: Did you tell Sam that you're studying Leibniz?
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T: I have not.
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O: You should. She's nuts about him. She says that
   his optimism is contagious.
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T: I haven't noticed. It is the clarity of his thinking
   that impresses me most.
.
O: Sure.
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[A moment of silence descends upon them. Then ...]
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O: Would you like to know what I think about philosophers?
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T: Certainly.
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O: Philosophers are very dangerous creatures. They have
   caused more pain and misery in the world than all of
   the guns and bombs and homicidal maniacs combined.
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T: Really?
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O: Really.
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T: And why is that?
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O: They are the primary cause of wars.
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T: Philosophers cause wars?
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O: That's right. Take Alexander the Great, for example. One day
   he decided to make war on the entire known world, and thus
   changed the course of history. And who do you suppose was
   there to see it all happen? Who, in fact, served as his
   teacher? Why, none other than the mighty Aristotle himself!
   And then they both just happen to die within a few months
   of each other? Something very weird going on there. And it's
   the same story throughout history. Whenever there's any
   major war going on, you're sure to find some philosopher
   lurking about nearby under some rock. When eternal Rome
   finally fell to the swords of the northern barbarians,
   Augustine had a front row seat for the whole show. And
   during World War Two (you know, the Big One) Bertrand
   Russell just happened to be writing his history of
   philosophy. Just coincidence maybe? I don't think so.
   And so it goes right up to the present.
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T: So Russell caused the Second World War?
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O: Not just Russell, but him most of all, for sure. You see,
   a philosopher's thoughts are so potent that they go forth
   and infect susceptible minds all over the world.
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T: Telepathy, O'Neil?
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O: It's a kind of telepathy that speaks to the collective
   unconscious, yes. The philosopher's thoughts go out and
   are picked up unconsciously by various sorts of minds.
   They aren't aware of any of this, of course, but all of
   this clarity and reason and thoughtfulness gets stuck
   deep in their minds, and that's when the trouble starts.
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T: How so?
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O: Well, most people aren't rational creatures, so soaking
   their minds in rational thoughts has the same effect on
   them as putting itching powder in their shorts.
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T: It makes them itchy?
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O: No. It makes them cranky. Very cranky. So cranky that they
   have to kill a lot of people just to get some relief. And
   the best way to do that ...
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T: Is to start a little war going.
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O: Exactly. And that's why philosophers are the chief cause
   of war.
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T: That's a very interesting theory, O'Neil.
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O: So then you agree?
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T: I do not.
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O: Figures.
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T: Have you spoken to Daniel Jackson about this?
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O: Of course not. I know what he'd say.
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T: He would not agree with you either?
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O: Those damn eggheads all stick together!
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T: Perhaps it's because your theory needs a little more work.
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O: I'm working on it. Thanks a lot, Teal'c.
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T: You're welcome, O'Neil.
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[At this point Daniel and Sam enter the cafeteria and soon join
them at the table. And after hearing Teal'c explain the colonel's
theory on the cause of war, neither one elects to accept it.
Naturally.]
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         -  the almost off-worldly one - textman ;>
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P.S. "I have not the kind of brain needed for distinction in
pure mathematics and pure logic. But I take a deep interest
in those subjects, and am not (as many otherwise intelligent
persons appear to be) frightened out of my wits by them"
(C.D.Broad, "Some Personal Impressions of Russell as a
Philosopher", in 'Bertrand Russell - Philosopher of the
Century', p.103).
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stargate
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/ Subject >  Re: The Philosopher-Colonel /
/ Newsgroups: alt.tv.stargate-sg1, alt.philosophy /
/ Forum > TheologyOnline: Philosophy ~ Religion / 08oct02 /
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> On 6oct Mike Dubbeld ([email protected]) wrote: There is a
> theory that religion declines and philosophy (science) gains
> power in civilizations as they grow corrupt. Can't remember
> where I saw that.
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 textman say: Hi Mike. Doesn't sound like much of a theory to
me, as history is never quite that simple or clear cut. In
fact, this idea is manifestly false, as the following examples
illustrate. In India philosophy and religion developed hand in
hand, and indeed are inseparable. And in the final stages of
the corrupt Roman Empire, philosophy was in decline at the very
time that Christianity was on the rise. Remember that it was a
Christian mob that destroyed the famous library at Alexandria.
For many Christians philosophy is inherently evil for no other
reason than that philosophers refuse to agree to anything
without first thinking things through.
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> Since philosophy is about the mind,
> and Reality is not found in the mind,
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 There are more than a few philosophers who would disagree
with that statement on one or both counts!
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> philosophers wind up being an angry cynical lot in their
> frustration. But then learning where it is not is valuable
> too. The truely sad part is that philsophers do not know
> what they are looking for to begin with.
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 Sure they do. Russell started out with a very clear idea of
what he was looking for. He was looking for certainty; and he
thought that the best place to look for it was in logic and
mathematics. Eventually he realized that certainty couldn't
be found there, or anywhere else for that matter.
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 This is the sad part. No certainty anywhere!
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> Sad because they come closer than all others - but close
> is only good in horseshoes and handgrenades.
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 Close is NOT good in horseshoes, but it is good in philosophy
in the sense that while no one philosopher's thinking is
perfect in all respects, nevertheless each one contributes
something to the common cause, and so philosophy develops
by taking two steps forward and one step backward.
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> <snip Meno> -- Mike Dubbeld
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 Obviously Meno doesn't know what he's saying.
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   - the one not searching for certainty - textman ;>
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P.S. "We can know things, but not certainly. That is why it
is always best to allow for the possibility we are wrong,
even when we feel certain we are right." -- Skeptic/Sept02
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textman

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