122903  o823o3  060603   060103   052503  050803   050203   042703   042303   041803   041603   040903   040703   040103
             033003   032903   032003   031603   031403   031303   031003  030803   022003   021003   020903   020403   012603 

Monday,          122903

          "What makes the deSert beautifuL
              is that soMewhere it hiDes a well."

  hEeeeeeey!^^ maG babaGonG taOn nanaMan!
sHeeeSh! BiLis nG days..
kkiNis nGa eh, oNe week nLng schL nanaMan.
(soMeone kill me, hihi. ^^)

    My New Year GoaLs:
  - joiN an oRg.
  - be a tv aD modeL :D
  - leaRn basketball / volleyball
  - leaRn gYmnastics / tapDancinG :D
*FYI: hooi! haha. i waS a gyMnast wHen i waS sMall! sa UP diLiman pa ako naG stuDy. haha.
pwEde pa ako at thiS aGe.. it's all in the mind. :P (deFensive ata ako. ^^')
  - coNtinue mY piaNo leSsons
  - mUst leaRn diaLects / lanGuaGes
       + Bisaya (a must to make baRgaiNs. ^^)
       + SpaNish (mY mom knows how to eh.. ^^)
       + ChineSe (i'll deport mYseLf to China.)
  - maKa paSa sa UP


             ..aNd the liSt goeS on.. maShado na atanG maRami..
                           i'M tRying to soCiaLize thiS yeaR. =)


 

Saturday,          082303  

        "What if love, as pRomised,
                              doesn't conqueRs all?"

  I, Sunshine Petal Tan, just LOST my cellphone. haha. ^^
 yeah. (sad face) i just did.. =(
haaay.. by the way, i lost it in Ateneo de Manila
  ..no, not the college.. but duon sa highschool wing. ^^
why the freaKing hell was i theRe?
seRect! haha. =P
ayOooko nga.. you really waNna know? taLaga taLaga? owwws...
liaR! haha.. cge na nga! =P
(iniinis lang kita.. haha. i just lost my cellphone, what do you expect?! =P ^^)
it's beCause... i was taking up a schoLarship in Singapore. hehe.
hmm.. sponsored by the ASEAN group.. in cooperation of the Singaporean Dept. of Education..
    eRrr.. big names huh? (it is??? hehe. ^^)

  i thiNk the teSt was just moderately fine.. not that haRd..
..the math test was 'woah' .. iMagine.. 30 questions for 2hRs anD 30 miNs?!
 hmm.. it wasn't even multiple choice but aN answer all test.. show
your soLutions pa nga eh! haha.
i just guessed most of it (kung ano ano ginagawa ko to get an answer. haha. ^^)
.. although if your a math wizaRd.. you'd know them all..
i think it was just the basic bits of Math.. pRobLem is..
 i'M not a whiz! ^^'

oooKey! napaLayo na tayo sa cellphone ko. ^^'
hmm.. kase gaNito, ung pRoctor namin sabe,
    "Don't bRing aNything in the cLassroOm, like your bag, etc. most especially your cellphones.."
  "..only your pen and pencil with your eraser."
Yuhpz yuHpz.. she saiD that. oR eLse co-confiscate daw niya.
    haaay.. so i did. (masunurin na bata! ^^ ..tanga!^^')
Now let's see.. (look up, look down, look left and right.. oh, there it is. ^^)
..the test started aRound 8am and ended aRound 5pm.. (haba noh?)
 And ung tests lang weRe --- General Ability, English, and Math.
The G.A. and Eng. was taken early in the morning.. then we had our luNch bReak..
   Yes, we all got our bags.. and by that tiMe, na saakin pa cellphone ko..
After luNch break, Math test followed.. so, iwan ulit ung bag sa labas ng cLassroom..
Nung nag dismissal na, I didn't check my bag (confident that all was in there ^^)
   but as i aRrived sa house... "eRrr.. phone? eRrr.. phhhonnneee?????"
 yeah.. then i reaLized na nawawaLa. huhuhu.. hihi. ^^

 *siGh*
..have you figured out nasaaN napunta?
  well, i don't. ^^
but you know what.. i feeL nothing about it..
   hMmmm...
caRefree i guess.. (don't get me wRong! i'm not riCh ha! ^^)

but in aNyways! =)
life continues keso nawaLa cellphone ko oR cellphone mo.. eRrr.. or something.
haaay.. aNd i've got a new way on aSking how's youR day.. an add on actually..
"kmustah ang aRaw na maY cellphone?ü"

Friday,             060603

        "Some call these mean gReatest
          entertainers on earth.
         FLying w/o winGs.
         Defying physicaL limitatioNs.
      But the riSk these men take aRe gReat.
      Bodies have been battered,
     next broken.
       Careers eNded in an instant.
      Yes, this is entertaiNment.
      But the hazzaRds aRe reaL.
        No matter who you aRe;
                whatever you do...
               pLease, don't tRy this at hoMe."
                                     -WWE commerciaL

  gaNda nG quote ko foR today ano? =P
WaLa lang. Nothing to state. ^^
Hmmm.. Pumunta ako paMpanga kaninang
moRning with my Dad. We were going to
fetCh my aHma.. kase.. hMm.. tom., she'll
be leaving papuNtang Canada (nsa maniLa ung airpoRt). Ayun.
then.. pagbaLik sa maniLa.. we went sa sM.

Nagpagawa nGa uLit ako nG new eye gLasses eh.^^'
NawawaLa nanaman unG isa. hehehe. ^^'
hMmmm.. panG 4th ko na 'tong gLasses since 2000(ata. ^^')
aYun. fYi laNg. ^^ hmm.. w/ a vision of L:175 R:200+
..nakaLimutan ko unG riGht. ^^' bStah 200+ ..ayun.

haaaaaaay. boRed na ako sa bahay. nothinG to dooooo.
Lapit na schooL.. *siGh* mixed emotions. ^^

Sunday,          060103

        "Try to be aLive, you'll be dead soon enouGh."

   geeehhz... juLy naaaaaHhhh!!!!!
lapit na nG schooL opening.
biLis nG time noh? ..nuon sinisigaw ko
moNth of maY naHhh!!!!! pero ngayun.. sheesh!
..anD.. hMmm.. i think hinDi ko pa nagagawa
unG guSto ko sananG gawin this suMmer. too baD.^^
haha. but, why not tRy it kahit schooL staRts dba?
haha.

heRe's a list of "sana" giNawa ko thiS suMmer..


*suRf!!! i wouLd LOVE to learn how to. aLam ko meron
dito sa philippines na niCe beaCh na meronG babY waves..
tapoS meron rin dun naGtuturo panu maG suRf. ^^
hmm.. kaya lanG nakaLimutan kunG ano unG naMe ng pLace. ^^'

*041803 entry.. hindi ko parin na gagawa. =_(
nanG hihinayanG ako sa price nG aDobe photoshop 7!!!
but, kahit biLihin ko unG fake.. hindi ko aLam kunG kaya
nG laptop memoRy. hehe. ^^' natotopak na kase.. ^^'

*leaRning how to pLay the guitaR. hMmm... aLam ko nGa
yunG choRds hindi ko naman aLam panu maG stramminG (??..yun ba tawaG?)
hehe. i mean.. unG isa nun. unG iba ibang styLe nG stRoke.
i have NOOOOO idea. sheeeesh. la ako mahanap na pweDe magtuRo. =_(

i'm a despeRate souL. haha.
eRrr.. aNybody there willinG to heLp? ^^

Sunday,            052503

        "Sir goRgiamus allos subjectatos nuNc.
    (We gLadLy feaSt on thoSe who wouLd subdue us.)"
                                 Addams faMiLy Credo

   hehe. hi! ^^
fiRstLy, yehay! ..i got oveR sa mG addiCtion.^^
bwahahahahahaa. Hindi na ako addicted sa MeteoR GaRden
na yan. ^^ haha.

Nasawa na ata ako... but in any ways,
i'M haPpy to be over it. ^^

hMmmm... ay, oo nGa paLa.. i've got soMethinG to state.
shi-sHaRe ko sainyo unG isanG scene nG Matrix 2. (watched it today.^^)
Kase, merong isanG paRt where naGuusap unG oracle and si..
eRrr.. yunG "the one" (kaLimutan ko naMe.^^')

Tapos, it's about naG aask unG "the one" na if the oRacLe knew
kunG anonG gagawin niya.. there wouLd be no sence of choiCe.(reLated to 020903 entry)
Tapos, sabe nG oracLe.. coRrect sha...
kase, we aRe all programmed na..
we oNLy live to know the reaSon why we maDe the choices na we made
heRe on eaRth. haaaaaaay, if that's why we'Re here...
then that wouLD be cReePy..
bkt? ..hehe.. la lanG. bStah. ^^
hindi ko ma expreSs.

hMmm.. well, betteR watCh the Matrix 2 na rin. ^^
i rate it 4.5 out of 5 staRs.
wHy? haha. waLa lanG. paRa i-watCh niyo
to coRrect me if my owN peRsonaL ratinG is wRong.^^
sMart ko nh? hahaha. =P

Well, yun lang.^^ Kkbitin unG matrix 2.
Ang epaL. ^^ haaay. oh well, cGe ciao. ^^

*NOTE: sa lahat nG GCHS hiGHschooL stuDents
June 12 (ThuRsday) - locker rentaL and cLass caRd
June 17 (TueSday) - schooL openinG

       eeeeeek. schooL nanamaN. hassLe paRe. ^^

Thursday,       050803

            "Who in the world can you run to when the only person who can
               stop your tears is the one who made you cry?"
                                                 ...aBa maLay ko noh.

   WaaaHhhhh.. i miSs my lonG daMn hair.
sheeesh. I mean, really. *siGh*
Lalo na yang Meteor Garden na tv show na yan.
Eh haLos lahat dun lonG hair!
The moRe i reMember my lonG hair. kakainGit. =(

Haha. oH well. ^^
Speaking of Meteor Garden... anG ganda noh!
haha. na addict na rin ako. ^^
<-- Lei iS so kawaii! ^^
Don't you aGree??? hahahaha. ^^
oH well, bStah... i miSs my long hair.=(
naG sisi na taLaga ako. haaaaaaaYyyy....^^

Friday,               050203

               "Friends coMe anD go, but eNemies aCcumuLate."

      Agggghhhhh!!!!!!!! (by the way, hehe, moNth of maY nah! ^^)
gRaaaabe nohhhhhh!!!!!!!! Nag pa haiRcut ako nGayun.
Eto lanG maSasabe ko, it feLt like (033003) paRt 2.
eveN woRst noh! aLam niyo ba that this fouL woRds kept
repeatinG itSeLf sa bRain ko...
"'tang ina, 'tanG ina, 'tanG ina..." (son of a.., son of a.., son of a..)

   ..aNd 'tanG ina taLaga! you know why?
cuZ it still's stuCK in mY bRain... paRa nGang guSto ko
i-shout out paRa mawaLa.. but no.. ayoko ko nGa.
..peRo paRang kyute sabihin nh? hehehehehe. ^^'

Back to my haircut stoRy... ^^
hMmm.. sabe kase nG sako(sisteR of my dad) ko na
i look oLd w/ my haiR. (it's oNLy around 2 inches beLow my aRmpit!)
..eh meDio kuLit.. so i fiNally saiD yes.. (biG miStake!^^)

hMmmm.. so we weNt to the paRLor...
the guy theRe aSked me up to what leNgth do i waNt my haiR not cut..
aNd i toLd him "..aRound 2 inChes froM the orginaL lenght."
..aNd riGht theN and theRe he just suDdeNLy sLashed
my haiR to that lenGth! gRabe i waS so schoCked..
(aNd may i state now that the "tanG ina" souNd 
 staRted in my innoCent braiN.^^)
cuZ usually a noRmaL styList won't do that...... riGht?^^'

  aNyhow...
afteR that sLashinG thinG..
he then styLed it.. (i waSn't even aSk what styLe! epaL.)
hMmm.. aNd the resuLt.......
waaaaHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... it waSn't even 2 inChes fRom
the originaL lenGth!!!! ..it waS aBove my shouLders man!
talk aBout.. aNd i REALLY hate it!!!!
weiRd nGa nG maNga tao dito eh.. theY all toLd me
that my haiR looked betteR now. geZzzsh!

(NOTE: not that i'm sayinG that eveRy girL that haS thiS styLe is like that..^^
i'm referring the haiR styLe to myseLf okey? ^^) 
With thiS haiR, paRang pa kyute type noh!
the kind of girL that says hi to a guy w/ bLinkinG
eyeS whiLe she curLs heR short haiR w/ her finGers.
daNg, iM not that one!!!!!
yuCk yuCk yuCk yuCk yuCk yuhhhCk!!!!
'tanG ina taLaga.
i juSt hope it'll gRow faSt befoRe schooL staRts...

speakinG of schooL opeNing.. ^^
i heaRd a news that it MIGHT be postponed foR
about a week oR even as lonG as a moNth, if necessaRy,
juSt to make suRe that we students
wouLd be safe fRom SARS.

hehe.. ain't that gReat?!
eRrr... okey.. shift topic.. (meRon pa nga ba???)
hehe. ^^'

..uGgghhh.. i juSt hate my haiR now.

Sunday,              042703

        "Love never faiLs."
                1 Chorinthians 13.8

         Vacation in AngeLes City, Pampanga.
Where my ahma (gRandma) is. 'Till the end of May i guess.

Wednesday,      042303

     "Why can't the peRson I like be you?"

    A neighbor dropped by aNd taught me piano (1-4pm). ^^
dapat guitaR kaya lanG nasiRa.^^

..he's a fRiend of my bRother (riChard) here in the village.
14m, 5'10 (he's taller than me!!!! eeek.) nickname is maCmaC.
foRgot what his real naMe is. ^^
His mother ia aLso a cLose friend of my mom.
(..where aM i gettinG at?!)

un lang. ^^

Friday,             041803

     "The futuRe is foR some
             whiLe tomoRrow miGht never come."

    I have now found a new hobby. =)
and that is to make diGitaL aRt. ^^
..anG gaNda nHhh!!!
nakakainspiRe. ^^
..so pRactically, that's one of the thinGs 
na i'll tRy to learn this suMmer.

cheCk soMe diGitaL aRt at www.gfxartist.com ^^

Wednesday,   041603

     "I dress myseLf to uNdress mYseLf."

         =)
   hehe. =)
First of all, i wouLd like
to thank mY eaRthLy paRents foR geneRousLy givinG me
(eventhouGh it's an extention.. well, not that i'M coMpLaininG.^^)
my owN cRedit caRd.

Yehay! ^^ *cLap*
*cLap* *cLap* *cLap* *cLap*

..my onLy pRobLem now is a damn siGnature...
sheesh. ^^'

Wednesday,   040903

       eeeeek!!!!!!
..i've just dRoPped soMeone's cellphone into a lake!!!
yeS, IN a lake!!!!!

waNna know the stoRY??? =P
anG epaL kase noh!!!!!!!!^^
..wait...hMmmm.. yikeS, it'S a lonG stoRy paLa..
neveRmind. haha. =P

juSt ask me iF you waNt to know..
bottomLine is.. i've dRop someone's cellphoNe into a laaaaaaakkkkkke!!!!
(ofcouRse it's not intentional! whut aM i nuts?! ..eRr.. maybe. ^^' jK jk jk!!!^^)
waHhhhhkonGha! wHy me? haha. ^^'

..yeah, i know.. iN eveRythinG.. GIVE THANKS!

    ..thankS God. ^^ (just make it woRk.. m'kay? ^^)

..oh yeah.. FYI... that soMeone iS eDison ChinG. ^^'

soRry dude. *suNshine sMiLes a BIG sMiLe. ^^ (teeth aRe showN)*

Monday,   040703

            "Wind, invincibLe but effective."

    hey hey. ^^
if you'Re woNderinG wheRe to find me thiS week..
well, you'Re in luCk cuz iM tellinG. ^^ =P
i'M now goinG to CaLiraYa foR mY yeaRLy
paRticipatioN iN GraCe GospeL ChurCh (Sta. Mesa)
SummeR coNfeRence.(040703-041103) ^^

hMmm...hopefully when i get baCk i'll
be brinGinG soMe buko pieS (FYI: mY favoRite pie! ^^)

..well, so lonG.. ciao! =)

Tuesday,   040103

  hay.. my eDucational tRip to China has just been 
cancelled by my paRents..
due to SARS.

saYang noh.. no refund..
my paRents just lost $600.
cReepY.

hMmm... anD i don't like it a bit!
..now i have to pLan my whoLe suMmer aGain.
danG. (the tRip iS suPposed to laSt foR 6 weeks, apRiL 1 - maY 22)

oH well, in everythinG, give thanks! =)
(anD like soMe say.. eveRythinG haS a reeeeAaaason! ^^)

*FYI: -thE eDucationaL tRip waS sponsoRed bY Lucio Tan Fountation.
        -out of 800 stuDents that waS suPpose to go to China,
oNLy 200+ stuDents depaRted. (suPposinGLy i waS suppoSed
to be one of them, but the niGHt before mY fLight,
my paRents haVe fiNally decided not to let me depaRt. sayanG lanG hirap ko sa
paGpapaCk nG baGs noh! hayyyy..^^)

Sunday,   033003

    "C'est le temps que tu eS perdu pouR ta rose
qui fait ta roSe si importante. (it'S the tiMe you have
        waSted foR youR roSe that makeS youR roSe iMpoRtant)"
                                          The LittLe PrinCe

    Today, pinaGupit ko anG akinG haiR.
gRabe nh.. i feLt like cRying when the laDy staRted to cut mY haiR.
(the feeLing of "stop! stop! stoooop!") 
but what can i do? ..theRe's no tuRing baCk.. =(
hehe.^^

mY haiR's lenGth is.. hMmm.. moSt likeLy aN inCh beLow mY bReast..
aNd honestLy i waSn't really pRo shoRt haiR...
(short hair, staRting above the shouLders)
guSto lanG kase nG dad ko na ipagupit..
but mY mom diSagreeS (guSto niya kase lonG)

hMmm.. aNd i, i waS cauGht in the miDdLe. ^^
..the finaL resuLt of mY haiR was.. hMmm..
okey nariN... ^^'
it eNded with it's lenGth juSt above mY bReaSt.

and pRactically that waS it. haha.
weiRd nh? ..i think thiS reCord is not woRth dispLayinG
before youR eyes.. hMm.. but hey, sayanG namaN unG tinype ko. ^^'

Saturday,    032903

    GoLf w/ Dad. (drivinG ranGe in VeteraNce)

Thursday,    032003

        IRAQ-US waR staRted.
       Maybe God waS boRed.

Monday,     031603,        ( 3.14am)

      Aaaaaghhhh!!!!!!! I CAN'T sLeep!!!!=(
...finaLs ko na mamaya!!! (6.15am have to wake up.)
    oh well, in eveRything, give thanks. ^^

Friday,          031403

        "Many thiNgs about toMoRrow I don't seem to understand;
    but I know who hoLds tomoRrow and I know who hoLds mY hand."
                                          -Stanphill

        ..ya know.. naisip ko..
about sa sinaBe ko na "doinG nothinG is hoRribLe"(030803)
..what if you lived to do nothinG?
wouLdn't that be cReepY? ..yun lanG gagawin mo..
to do "nothinG" ..
         ...i hope i'm not one of them.

Thursday,      031303

         "Make youRseLf a betteR peRson & know
       who you aRe before you tRy & know
      someone eLse & expect them to know you."

   ..i don't think i know mYseLf yet.
Hmm... does that mean I can't get to know someone?
..Maybe I shouLd stop talking to peopLe.
Maybe, maybe.. maybe. *siGh*

       shift topic. ^^

Lam niYo ba. i fiGured.. God cReated thiS worLd
so simpLe. So simple that i think peopLe got
boRed and tRied to compLicate it.

..Si Satan nGa anG nauNa eh.
..dba?^^ Dinamay pa tayo.
..exampLe, kunG waLang naG aRaL..
waLang maGaaraL. Don't you see?
Gayahan lanG tayo lahat eh. ParanG
gReed rin. Kase, you want to suRpass
the other. And iF not, you still
waNt to stuDy paRa "maka bagay" sa mundo.

Ang cReePy noh?

..And do you know who's behinD all oF thiS?
..it waS God. He's the one contRoLinG the woRLd riGht?
He's even goNna know what's goinG to haPpen next.
Haaaay...

I wonDer how's it gonna eNd.^^

Monday,       031003

     I find mYseLf sLeepy today.
Not havinG the energy other mortal has.
..that's why i sLeep. And it never recharges..
for some reaSons it doesn't.

There's nothinG left for me.
I don't know what to do.. anymore.
To hurt people anD to be huRt by them..
    suCh is the pain of life isn't it?!
 I don't know the reaSon for living anymore.
That's why I wanted to vanish.
 I am like you somehow.
that's why I.. can I stay with you?
 I.. i want to stay cLose to you.

 I'm juSt tired all the time.
I'm really tired. Do you think
I'm weird?
       I wonder why...
Maybe I'm just bored of it all.
 Everyone's so energetic. I just don't
have it. That why I'm asLeep... whiLe no
one notices.. I just disappear.
But nothinG changes. Even if I'm gone...
       NothinG changes.

You can't understand... I'm aLone!
I'm aLone.. too aLone...
isn't it painfuL to be aLone?
isn't it difficuLt? ..it was the saMe w/ me.
Although, if we're together.. we couLd hurt
eaCh other. And there miGht come a time for
uS to part aGain.
         But that's not the end is it?

hey, how lonG do you think can I stay here?
..untiL the mystic moon calls you baCk aGain.
Until that time.. I will be with you. *smiLes*
Thank You. Arigato Gusaimasu.
       We will aLways be togetheR right?
                                          ...maybe we will.

"Life is a kind of doCtor who giveS uS death
in small daiLy doses so that when we atLast,
we drink death's daRk wine,
we have aLready tasted it's bitterness."

                       ..anD today, I think it tasted bitter.

*guLo ko nh? haha. life iS simpLe.. yet coMpLicated.=)

Saturday,   030803

              "deep into the daRkneSs peerinG,
         lonG I stood there, wonderinG, fearinG,
doubtinG, dreaminG dReams no moRtaL eveR dreamed before."


DoinG nothinG is hoRribLe.
I find no reason to live on.
..live life to the fullest..
so they say, peRo magagawa mo nGa ba
aNg manGa iyon? ..We live in boundaRies.

it's niCe to just vaniSh. NothinG will
chanGe. You'll just vanish.

*tear drop falls*
                      ...

ThuRsday,   022003

     it'S mY... 15^th bday. ^^'
 And pRactically, ito anG bday
ko na maRame naG gReet, (ows?!)
ndi ko aLam.. hehe.. ^^
peRo i think thiS iS the bdaY
na natouCh ako sa manGa peopLe that gReeted me.
oH yeah! kaHapon aHma weNt heRe.. uHhmm..
untiL now. ^^(she stayed over night.) guSto niYa kase ako ipaGLuto!=)

SpeakinG of yeSterday, zaL(gurLfriend.=P) deLivered
a cHeesecake froM Red RiBbon. =)
Puro food na nGa binibiGay saakin eh!
Pati Christmas food rin! Oh well.. kaysa wALa! =P

Well, hmm.. honestLy.. aYoko
duMatinG birthday ko na 'to. I don't waNna be 15.=(
I'm contented on beinG 14. ^^

...but...it caMe.. kaYsa waLa dba? hehe. ^^
oR eLse.. i'd be dead bY now! yikeS! ^^

I had soMe gifts rin.. from my parents, fRiends..
aNd surprisingly.. even our neighbors.
Ayun. =)

And I end mY day bY thankinG God. =)
 

Monday,       021003

   "TheRefoRe do not woRry about toMorrow,
  foR toMoRrow will woRry about its own thinGs.
 Sufficient foR the daY is its owN troubLe."
                               Matthew 6.34

          Nice veRse nh? ^^
Ahahahaha. ^^' Ang cReepY noh.
..napapaiSip taLaga ako nanG kuNg ano
anonG ka ek ekan.

Lam niYo ba toDay, paRanG
 God's punishinG me.
       ..ewan ko lang. ^^
kaSe, sa math & sCience quiz ko..
paRang baGsak pareho. (test namin toDay)
  *siGh*
tapoS, kaninang 3.25am naGisinG ako..
theN hinDi pa ako maKatuLog! =(
It's a cReePy worLd down heRe.
...veRy cReepY. =(

FeeL ko na nga maMataY noh.
But on secoNd thouGht.. maS borinG
ata mamatay. ^^'

PinapagaLitan nanaman nGa ako
nanG parents ko dahiL sa phone, *siGh*
haha, wHen will it eveR stop. kahit maaGa ako
naG phoNe kontRa parin. kahit maG papatuRo
oveR the phone, ayaw.

       ..but coMe to think of it..
si GOd maY pakaNa nanG lahat aHh.
haaaaY! ^^
(but i'm not compaLaininG! ^^)

Sunday,          020903

    "Ye have not because ye not aSk."
                              James 4.2

  hMmm.. ya know, naisip ko kanina (while takinG mY niGHt showeR. ^^)
that ouR lives aRe aLready pLanned bY GOd^©.
   hehe. dba?
Then, I think we shouLdn't pRobLem the pRobLems
 that we faCe... cuZ' hindi naMan taYo maPaPahamaK
coZ' God iS love (?!).. eRrr.. ^^'

  hMmm.. diba nGa we have thE fReedoM to cHoose
kunG anonG diRectioN taYo pupuNta...
peRo think about thiS.. iF "pLanado"
na lahat.. theN ano anG choiCe natin?
  I think God iS juSt makinG uS feeL
na we have the freedoM oF choiCe.. but the truth
iS.. hindi.. kase, nakapLanneD na lahat diba?
  It juSt so haPpens na we don't know the "pLan".
But unConsciousLy, we follow it.
    CreePy thouGht. ^^'

peRo anG kewL noh?
  It meaNs na GOd maDe uS all
w/ roLes to pLay. And He perfected uS.
Kase, eveRy moveMent pLinano na niYa.
oN how we write.. the waY we sMiLe..
wRinkLes on ouR butt (ha?! hehe. ^^') ...
  eVeRythinG!

..whiCh maKes it cReepY but niCe. ^^'

Tuesday,        020403

                             CriMe & Punishment
                           By FyoDor DostoyevskY

                          
        Lam niYo ba what daY iS today?

  Today, in science cLass, we dissected a fRog!^^
        CreePy nGa eh! Kawawa unG fRog.
  All mY cLaSsmates brutally killeD their froGs!
          ..well, ofCourse.. except me! ^^
Actually, di ko natapoS anG disection nG fRog ko
    kase suMigaw ako. ^^'
Eh, bawaL paLa suMigaw...(i waS absent the daY before
       naG bigaY teaCher namiN nG ruLes)
kaYa, napaLayas ako.
   hMmm.. you waNna know thE reaSon why
i shouted?
   kaSe, na giSing uLet unG frog doon sa diSecting pan.
kaYa, aYun. thE suDden uRge oF shoutinG
       maDe me shout. ^^'
hmmm.. whiCh aLso remiNds me..
waLa akonG gRade. =(
    OoopS! hahaha. =)
oH well, aNotheR leSsoned leaRned
       fRom expeRience! =)

       "WhetheR we beLive God is a reaL peRson oR
   mereLy a concePt, God iS in all aNd aBove all aNd
  aRound uS. God iS in uS. God iS uS. We aRe goD."

                             p.275
                      TribuLation ForCe
         "the ContinuinG dRama of thoSe leFt beHind"
                 by Tim LahaYe & JeRry JenkiNs

       Mom's leavinG toDay foR Cebu. In preparation of my gRandparents 50th
weddinG anniversary this comming fRiday.
    And gueSs what kuNg aNo pinaGawa niYa saakiN, I haVe to buRn 200 CDS foR
the give away. And that wouLd pRacticallY take me aRound 28 hRs...hello?!
     I have sChooL to attend oN a weekdaY.

     And sHe expeCts me to finiSh it on WedNesdaY!
?! ..I juSt haaaaaaD it! SumusobRa na. (meron pa kase nG yaRi.. whiCh really..
    well.. whiCh really bLew mY patience.^^) SuCh abuse iS maDe.
 PasaLamat siLa I'm a freaKin' ChristiaN...
oR eLse, baka aNo na naGawa ko.
    ...I think I'm depReSsed.. oR maYbe not.
Who aM i to saY that I am depRessed?
  ...I honeStLy think i doN't haVe a pRobLem... hMmm.. but i feeL saD.
But theN aGain, saDness maKes me haPpy. =)

Lam niYo ba, I feeL God iS teaChinG me patieNce... aGain.
  FeeLinG ko nGa theme yun foR thiS whoLe moNth eh,
But who aM i to saY suCh thinGs?

It'S a sHaMe thaT I'm waStinG mY tiMe.
  I mean, wHat iF i diE the next followinG hRs.?!
 I wouLdn't waNt sPendinG mY tiMe wRitinG thiS thinG.
         I have a liFe to live.

I feeL... yeah, I gueSs that's it.
    At thiS moment I feeL.
I feeL all the stupidneSs oF thiS whoLe woRLd.
    If I had it mY waY today...
  I'll go to the mall aNd walk.
(Not oNLy doeS it buRn calories. hehe.^^)
  I feeL like walkinG sa mall.
WheRe peopLe doesn't know me.

     ..mY heaRt aChes so muCh I think it's goNna bLow...
but it woN't.. coz' that'S the waY it'S goNna staY.
    Sad but tRue.=(

I'm livinG in a crueL worLd... a pLaCe I can't  eScape.
   My oNly waY oF eScape iS death.
To live iS crueL.. but to die iS peaCe.
(tway bu tway? chong ming de.. ni kaw su wo..)
     gRrr.. I shouLd make mY thouGhts shut up.
it cReates different kinDs oF peRspective... aNd i think it'S cReepY.

Well, I'm about to sLeeP now. I gueSs that'S one optioN I have
ratheR than killinG mYseLf. i think sLeePinG iS anotheR waY of enterinG
to aNotheR dimension... wheRe anYthinG iS poSsibLe.
     WhiLe deaTh, that I don't knoW.. yet it still iNterests mY curiouSneSs
but I'mnot ruShing. ^^ i juSt gueSs that I wouLd haVe pLenty oF tiMe
to speNd on death soMeday.

             ...God, I aM youRs- whiLe liFe laSts & beYond.
     ...I'm haPpy to Be a ChristiaN.. that I can say.

But you know what,
I'm sCaRed of sLeePing anD beinG awake
the next thinG knowinG I didn't liveD
thiS daY to the fulleSt.

It saddenS me so muCh I don't know wHat to do.
ShouLd I sinG?
        ShouLd I cRy?
  ShouLd I write the reaSon wHy?
Maybe thiS iS my pRobLem.
MayBe it iS.

 Then I think I shouLd be happY.
FoR atLaSt... I knoweth the pRobLem I faCe.
But do i know it fully? *lauGhs*
    *saD faCe*
 aLas, I do not.

I live thiS moment saD & puZzLed.
    ShouLd I live heRe lonG?
  OfcourSe I muSt not...
foR it teaRs me apaRt froM haPpineSs...
      ano ba 'to.^^'
SuCh non sense I write.
I now shouLd sLeep,
          foR i think too muCh.

     ..but i waNt to write.
                   iS that a cRime?
It's niCe to write,
   foR it makeS you think.
 then maYbe i'm not stupid, foR i write.
And I lauGh, to wRonG the riGht.
      eRrr... so doeS that mean i'M crueL too? (eh???^^)

Nahawa na nGa ata ako sa muNdong ito.
      Napakaganda nGunit iSang mapalinlanG na demensyon.
Nakakaiyak manG isipiN ngunit ako'y naninirahan dito.

At kunG ako'y mamamatay...
   hmmm..
aNd if I die, maYbe I'm not leavinG thiS pLace,
     maYbe i'm comminG home.