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SCHOOL DAYZ |
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Jon Clapham: The bearded banana man lives on despite having risked his life on the FSU VIDEO. He's the one with the spazz arms and who throws himself on the ground a lot. He also provides rare skateboearding moments, if he can be arsed to get dressed at the weekends. He spends his school time generally dossing and pissing off the teachers (missy saggy-with-a-bra), but still getting good marks in his end of year exams. |
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Luke Nagy: Horse-Porn boy is alive and well and still has a fettish for almost anything that moves. He claims that it's all a joke but some of us are not quite so sure. Another founder of the FSU VIDEO, his speciality is jumping into bushes and generally being disgusting. His pocket video camera has been very useful when it comes to making films about calnan being constantly bullied, and for catching Gazard do his amazing joke! |
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Nick Calnan: He is single-handedly responsible for the rumour that is still going round our year. We all know the one and if he doesn't stop soon then I'll have to tell people about what he gets up to in his spare time. Or I'll show people the photo taken in China, with a local man with his hand up Calnan's shorts! I'm sure he can cry to one of his 3 dads until he stops spreading that Fucking rumour. |
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Jon Crisp: Crispy can get seriously pissed if we say that his hair is ginger, so I won't mention that at all in this website, the fact that he's a ginger that is. He would rather spend his time playing football in his lunchtimes, but I suppose he'll have to make do with the ultimate chair smash in our form room (throwing all the chairs so that they meet in mid-air - great fun). He has a huge obsession with Clapham's girlfriend, but we don't mention that very much. |
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Nik Ong: The frontman leading the cause for Grind-core, which is apparently a form of music. How he discovered it, I'm sure is a deep and disgusting secret which I'm sure that nobody should know. I sit next to him in maths and him constantly cussing my mum is definitley a good way of keeping me awake during those long, boring lessons. Maybe one day he will finally get to make his film, "The Postman" (very pornographic)! |
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Simon Maine: This one's me, and this is my website. Basically I spend my life doing very little, and small things amuse me for a very long time. I play the fastest, hardest and most gruelling sport there is: Badminton. That takes up some of my time, and the girls that play badminton make it very worthwhile. The other part of my life is just general mooching and fucking about. I'll learn to play my guitar one day, but until then I'll continue to be a lazy shit. |
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Katie Singer: Will she ever leave Clapham alone? The quite obvious answer is never. When Clapham dies she will still be there prodding his hair, making sure he stands up striaght and making a poor attempt to join in with our jokes. So, we all know that she spends far too much time with us, but does it affect her? Yes. She gets insulted every time she's with us and often gets threats on her parents lives from Crispy. But she is Clapham's girlfriend and so, for now, I'll continue to put up with her. |
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Oliver Latham: It was Oli's bright idea to start up the brewing of the beerded lady, and what an idea it was! That moment in time was quite possibly the only reason for Oli's existence, apart from being the most sarcastic person in England. He struts around being very full of himself, and very full of OUR beerded lady. It was a very big mistake to brew the beer at his house, but he won't get away with it again. Maybe we could actually make some money off the second batch. Or Oli will drink it all again. I wonder which it'll be? |
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