Suicide by Candlelight
© 1992 Heather B. Potucek
See the candle as it dances;
Watch it leap, and as it prances
Feel its magic deep inside;
to man no magic known before.
Hear the candle; in its taunts
It hides inside my mind; it haunts.
To see that flaming, flick'ring fire
Brings much desire to watch it more.
Staring, glaring, I sit silent–
Watching fire all the while, and
In my trance not noticing
The flame has no more to consume.
Hear the flame as it is dying;
Mind is racing; flame is crying:
"Let me live, and I'll dance more."
Flame lands swiftly in the room.
Stare in awe; the flame stares back
Leaving wasted signs of black.
Throwing; tossing' gorge it full;
Feed its deadly appetite.
Something's buzzing; things are ringing;
Listen close, the flame's still singing.
Into its center it beckons me,
Telling to give up my fight.
"See me dance and see me leap,
And let me have your soul I keep
Entrancéd with my embers white.
Now give your body unto me!"
Let it touch me, feel its hold;
Insanity has made me bold.
Firemen break in early that night;
They try to drag me–set me free.
I fight their grasp; I cannot win?
Into a hand I drive my chin.
Release! Escape! Run to the fire
Whose refuge I will gladly take.
"I can give you little more
Than refuge on a dying shore."
"Your services," I say, "I hire,
And gladly–to my death I bake."
And so my destiny I chose–
The flames are lapping at my toes.
Ashes stinging in my eyes,
My lungs are filled with smoky fumes.
But somehow they did save me,
Brought me forth to mortal safety.
And to an awful fate "worse than death"; I'd rather have died.
--
I no longer keep a source of flame in my room.
Until I find another such,
The fires cannot consume me
Or end my
Pyromania Dreams
Until, it seems
A new flame
Gleams.
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