An outgoing message

The following is an outgoing message on a teenage student's answering machine....

Hi, this is John. I'm unable to answer the phone at this moment. If you leave your name and telephone number, I'll call you back.
If you are my dad, then I need money.
If you are a friend of mine, then you owe me money.
If you are calling from the telephone company or electricity company, then I've already paid the money for this month.
And if you are a girl, then I have a lot of money!