[Fade into a Black screen. The same warning that appeared last week, appears again this week. "The CWF and it's wrestlers insist that you do not attempt any of what you see at home. The CWF wrestlers are trained professionals and do this for a living. Do NOT attempt anything you see at home."]
[Fade into the ring.]
Matt: Fans as we all know, Jon Apsey will unfortunately not be in attendance tonight. He has been barred from the building so he cant injure himself farther....its a known fact among people in our business that Jon Apsey has never been one to adhere to medical advice
Eric Masterson: You may have spoken too soon about the barring because apparantly, hes at the front gate right now!
[The fans explode as Apsey appears on the titon-tron...He's arguing with a horde of security guards and a man in a black suit]
Apsey: LET ME IN THE **censored** BUILDING!!!!!
Man in suit: Im sorry Mr Apsey...i have my instructions...you are hurt and if you go into that building, it is our opnion that
you are going to...
[Apsey interupts and the crowd roar their approval]
Apsey: AND KICK SAM WARHAMMERS **censored** ASS!!!
Man in suit: And get yourself hurt again Mr Apsey....no matter how much of a delinquint you are..we need you on TV as much as
possible
Apsey: ok...then how about putting me on tv....whilst im ramming my **censored** boot down Sam Warhammers **censored** great big **censored**
[The fans are in a frenzy and the Ap-sey chants have started]
Man in suit: MR APSEY...THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE IS QUITE INNAPROPRIATE...YOU WILL NOT BE FIGHTING MR WARHAMMER TONIGHT....SO GO HOME
Apsey: ok ok ok...so i dont get any payback on sammy...how about this, I go in to the building...i sit quietly....i have a meal....i finish all my peas....I go and quietly say a good evening to my stable mates....i watch them win their match....then i congratulate them and leave.,...quietly....only stopping on the way to KICK YOUR **censored** MOTHER **censored** GIGANTIC **censored** **censored** AND PULL IT OUT OF **censored** **censored** **censor***
Matt: Our first match is about to start
[The Bell rings.]
Murdock- Both men are in the ring. So it will be Steve Johnson taking on Jack Pander.
Masterson-Both men go for the lockup but Pander goes for the eye poke. That was cheap.
McLure- You do anything to get an early advantage in a match. Pander with a headlock on Johnson.
Murdock- Johnson throw Pander into the ring. The two men bump each other in the middle of the ring, no one moves.
McLure- They start to go punch for punch. Johnson is too much for Pander. Johnson with the hard left hand to put Pander on the mat.
Masterson- Johnson quick applies an armbar on Pander. Pander grabs the ropes, so Johnson breaks the hold.
McLure-Both men to their feet. Pander attempts to whip Johnson to the ropes but Johnson blocks it and gives him a massive clothesline.
Murdock-Johnson just about take the head off of Pander. Know Johnson quickly picks up the dazed Pander and throw him into the
corner.
Masterson- Pander looks like he is out of it. Johnson gives him a few punches to the mid section.
McLure-Johnson pickup pander on puts him on the tope rope. He climbs up with him. OH MY GOD, he is going to try a super suplex.
Masterson- He has him up and what a slam on the mat. Pander's back hit the mat hard. Johnson gets up shakes his head. Looks at
Pander who is out of it.
Murdock- Johnson flips him over and is applying the Boston Crab. The ref goes over to see if Pander is giving up.
Masterson-Pander is out. The ref raises his hand to see if he is awake, arm falls. Tries it a second time, arm falls again. The final time, that is it Pander is out. The ref asks for the bell to be rung.
McLure-So Steve Johnson is your winner is an easy match for him, hopefully next time Pander will be a bit more involved in his next match or his career here will be short.
Matt Murdock: It's time for our next match it will be Travis Benjamin Lee and Death Row vs Blade McMicheals and Lucifer. We are having a very heavy thunder storm out side the arena tonight and are expecting to have some technical difficulties.
Eric Masterson: Well lets hope for the best and [the screen goes dark. Five minutes go by and then this pops up.]
[The screen stays this way for ten more minutes then the picture and sound both return.]
Eric Masterson: Folks were back, I would like to apologize for the technical difficulties. The match is over and the winners are the team of Death Row and Travis Benjamin Lee.
Matt Murdock: What is going on down there, it looks like Extreme Icon is getting into a pushing match with Death Row and Travis Lee.
[Lights go out]
Eric Masterson: Are we having technical difficulties again? Fans I understand we are still on the air but the lights have gone down.
[Suddenly a video reel begins playing on the CWF-tron
and all the fans sit and watch in silence]
Mclure: I dont know but that was C4 that went off when
Rick powerbombed Icon into the dumpster!!
Masterson: AHHHH!!! Thats just mean!!
Murdock: Rick finally gets out of the ring
and.....grabs the dumpster and hes bringing it up the
ramp to the entrance way!
Mclure: Awww Damn!
Masterson: Rick has Icon in the dumpster and......
Murdock: Hes gonna shove the dumpster off the entrance
way....15 feet down!!!!! Here he goes!
Mclure: WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
BOOM!!
Masterson: OH MAN! More C4 explosives went off when
that dumpster hit the floor!
Murdock: But Icon jumped out before it hit.
Mclure: Yeah and he landed and a couple tables coverd
in junk....I dont know which is worse.
Masteron: And look at Rick Faith....Hes sadistic! And
look at him with the TV Title!
(The clips cuts off abrubtly and a sadistic laugh is
heard throughout the arena.)
Masterson: What was that all about?! Does this mean
that Faith is returning?
Murdock: I haven't heard anything on it.
Mclure: LOOK! The lights are coming back on.
(Gradually all the lights come back on revealing all 5
men layed out. All four wrestlers are on the outside
and uncocious and Icon is laying face down in the
middle of the ring)
Masterson: Who the? What the?
Murdock: LOOK! Something's written on Icon's back!
It's hard to tell what it says though.
[As the camera changes angles, you can see in large,
red, poorly written letters are two words...."i'm
back"]
Mclure: What does all this mean?!
Murdock: I don't know, but we're sure to find out.
Matt Murdock: Fans, our next match is going to be between "Extreme" Eric Austin and "Studly" Johnny Gold. This should be a good one folks. Let's go down to Chris Spracher for the introductions.
[Down With The Sickness blares over the PA and Eric Austin comes out from the back and walks confidently down to the ring.]
Chris Spracher: Introducing first, standing 6' 1" and weighing 248 lbs., EXTREME ERIC AUSTIN!
[Austin goes to the corner and stands there waiting]
[Johnny Gold's music hits and he comes swaggering down to the ring]
Chris Spracher: Coming to the ring second, STUDLY JOHNNY GOLD!!!
Ding.ding
Vanessa McLure: There's the bell, hopefully this one won't last too long.
Eric Masterson: Eric Austin is the one acting first, he went right at Johnny Gold, but Johnny Gold dodges the clothesline attempt. Now Johnny Gold has the advantage, and takes it, he just leveled Austin with a bulldog!
Matt Murdock: Nice move. Johnny Gold is waiting for Austin to get up, but he's rolling on the ground holding his face. Johnny Gold is now going up to the top turnbuckle to wait.what is he planning?
Vanessa McLure: Maybe he'll jump outside and hurt himself, and this will all be over.
Eric Masterson: Eric Austin is finally getting up.slowly. He's turning towards Gold. Gold's jumping.what a shoulderblock. He just leveled Austin. Both men are down though.
Matt Murdock: They're both getting up now. Eric Austin has a hold of Johnny Gold, and he hits a piledriver. Ouch.
Eric Masterson: Austin is going for the pin.
1.2
Vanessa McLure: Gold kicks out. And he's back on his feet pretty quickly. Austin and Gold are now slugging it out, exchanging punches back and forth. They're beating the hell out of each other.
Matt Murdock: Yes they are. Now Gold has the upper hand again, and he lands a german suplex. Austin appears to be really out of it. Gold is yanking him back up, and not letting get any breathing room. WHAT A DDT! Austin is down again.
Eric Masterson: Oh Man, that looked extremely painful.
Matt Murdock: Gold is not letting up. He's got Austin in the corner and he's pounding the life out of him.
Vanessa McLure: It looks like it will be over soon.
Eric Masterson: Gold is putting Austin on the top rope.SUPER-PLEX!
Matt Murdock: That was a sweet move folks. Austin is down. Gold goes for the cover.
1..2..
Eric Masterson: Kick out by Austin, he's still in this.
Matt Murdock: Both men up now, and it seems that Austin has the upper hand. He's got Johnny Gold reeling back from his flurry of punches.and now he's got him hooked.BRAINBUSTER! But he's celebrating, he should go for the pin.
Eric Masterson: Johnny Gold is getting up behind him, and rolls him into a school boy pin.
1.2.
Matt Murdock: Austin just got out in time.
Eric Masterson: Both men are facing each other down.who will strike first.
Vanessa McLure: One of them better do it.
Matt Murdock: Austin is lunging, but Gold ducked his charge, spins.he has him hooked.
Eric Masterson: Full Nelson Suplex.OH MY GOD. That could be it folks.The pin.
1.2.3
Matt Murdock: What move, and what a match. That was some really fast paced action we just. And incase you just tuned in, Johnny Gold just beat Extreme Eric Austin, 1..2..3.
Matt Murdock: Well, it happened again. We apologize for that fans. We just had another power-outage. It caused us to miss two matches. Here�s the summaries with replays for you. We�ll start with Mack McMichaels vs. XC Lence.
Eric Masterson: This was the most even contest of the night. Nobody got the advantage the entire time. Mack hit some big moves throughout the match, getting Lence with several suplexes, a big back body drop, and a painful looking bulldog. Lence was on his feet after all these moves, and had his own big moves during the match.
Matt Murdock: During the contest Lence hit a reverse-DDT that should have rattled Mack�s brains beyond belief, but Mack was up quickly. Lence also hit a big time superplex, then kept on focusing on Mack�s back. Right here he just hits back-breaker after backbreaker. That was where things started to go wrong for Mack.
Vanessa McLure: Because of the pain in his back Mack never really got going again, and was easy picking for Lence, who ended it quickly. He finished him off with his trademark and got the 1�2�3
Eric Masterson: Ok, if we can get the replay cued up, we�ll give you the summary to the Pretty Boy vs. Sam Warhammer match. There it is. This match started out pretty even, with both men exchanging shots and moves. It was back and forth for just about the entire match.
Matt Murdock: About Midway through we though Pretty Boy would have it, he hit some good moves, A DDT, a great snap suplex, and a side-walk slam all in a row, and then he was going for the win, but Warhammer reversed his finisher, putting the match back into a stand still.
Vanessa McLure: Warhammer had a brief stint of offense too, about three quarters of the way through, sending Pretty Boy to the outside with a Gorilla press, and a little later he hit him with a great looking powerbomb. Soon after he hit his finisher, and that match was all over. Pretty Boy almost got away at the end, but Warhammer wouldn�t let him get lose, and that was that.
Eric Masterson: Well, we've gotta get on to our next match-up.
Chris Sprachter: The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a *Non-Title* match. Coming to the ring first, from Port Colborne, Ontario, Canada....."Punk Ass" Dave Allan!!!
*O Fortuna* booms throught the arena. Dave Allan walks throught the curtain and to the ring.
Chris Sprachter:And his opponed.....
*The CWFTron shows a clip of the movie "Clockwork Orange"
Chris Sprachter: From Philadelphia, Pa..The CWF Televison Champion.........Juuuuuuuuusssstin BLADE!!!!!!!
*Justin Blade casually walks to the ring and steps through the ropes.He hands the belt to Greg Falling*
Eric:This should be a great match. Next week Jimmy D will join these men at Maximum Carnage in a *Triple Threat* NO Count Out, No DQ. This will give us an idea of what to expect next week.
Matt: You better bet that Jimmy D is watching this match from the locker room area.
[DING..DING]
Matt:And we are under way. They are fighing for leverage and Dave Allan comes up on top. Irish wip into the ropes, and Justin Blade ducks the clothesline, coming back across the ring Big Boot to the mid section by Dave Allan. Justin Blade is down. Allan drops the elbow.
Eric:Dave Allan need to really keep the tempo up in this match. If he can do that he has a good shot.
Matt:Hard right hand by Justin Blade. Dave is reeling. Justin grabs him....sets him up for a suplex, nicely executed.
Eric:Dave is back on his feet quickly. Both men are circling the ring. They are locked in the middle of the ring. Justin Blade has advantage. Nice firemans carry take down by Blade.
Matt: Small package by Dave Allan
Greg Falling: 1...2
Eric: Quick 2 count
Matt:Both men are back up. Justin Blade send Dave Allan into the ropes. Dave Allan ducks and bounces off the ropes on the other side. HE SPEARED HIM. Dave Allan speared Justin Blade. He goes for the cover.
Greg Falling:1....2...
Matt: That was close.
Eric:Both men are standing once again. Justin Blade with a punch to the face. Hard right hands. Big left from Blade. Dave Allan is down.
Matt: Justin Blade with a handful of hair helps Dave back to his feet. Piledriver by Justin.
Eric:The cover..
Greg: 1...2...
Eric: Dave Allan kicks out. Dave Allan is stagggering to get to his feet. Finally standing Dave is in the middle of the ring. Justin off the ropes....
Matt: Dave Allan...HITS THE "MILLION AND ONE" He goes for the cover..
Eric: My god this could be it.
Greg:1....2......3!!!!
[DING DING*]
Chris Sprachter: You Winner...."Punk Ass" Dave Allan.
Eric Masterson: It happened again fans. We�re sorry, but this storm is causing a lot of problems. You know the drill by now, we�ll give you a quick paraphrase of the action with the replay for the tag match we just missed, Blacklung and SD Brock vs. Doomsday.
Matt Murdock: If you�re watching this replay, you can see that right from the get-go this match was high speed. Blacklung and Crimson were beating each other all over the ring, occasionally hitting low-impact moves, but neither man slowed down. Finally Crimson got a slight advantage and hit a snap-mare, taking the time he bought to tag in Crush. Crush came in full speed ahead, but Blacklung ended that with a drop-toe hold.
Vanessa McLure: Blacklung then tagged in Brock, who beat the living hell out of Crush. He started off with a big cradle DDT, followed by a gut-wrench suplex. He wouldn�t give Crush any breathing room. From that point on Crush would never get to the ropes to tag in his partner.
Matt Murdock: Blacklung and Brock made a lot of tags, simply delaying the eventual win. Finally Brock tagged Blacklung in for one last time, and let Blacklung get the finish, and the pin. After a match that could only be called a beating, Blacklung and Brock came away the winners. But before we get to our next match, here�s a clip as it happened during this match that you should see.
Eric Masterson: I don't know who the legal man in the ring is, but Brock and Blacklung are beating up both Crush and Crimson terribly. Masterson: Brock has Crimson in the Kata Hajime' and Blacklung has Crush in a sleeper hold. McLure: Men, both trying to show eachother up and psyche the other out for next week.
Matt Murdock: Well folks, we are just about ready for the main event! But before we kick things off, it's my pleasure to introduce at this time our special guest commentator, the CWF People's Champion, Trex Sharpe! It's good to have you aboard for this one, Trex.
Trex Sharpe: The pleasure's all mine, Matt. Thanks for having me. Hi Eric, Vanessa.
Vanessa McLure: Yeah yeah. Whatever.
Trex Sharpe: And let's not forget my unlikely tag team partner, Xander Lence sitting in as guest time keeper.
Matt Murdock: Well you two have a vested interest as the two of you will face the following two teams at Maximum Carnage.
Trex Sharpe: That's right, Matt. XC and I are just out here to do a little bit of research.
Matt Murdock: That's an excellent strategy, Trex. But now let's go up to Chris Spratcher in the ring, as he gets ready to make the introductions.
Spratcher: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event! The following is a tag team bout scheduled for one fall,with a 30 minute time limit. Introducing first ...
[A heavy guitar riff fills the air as "The Razor's Edge " by AC/DC blares out of the CWF PA system. The arena fills with dim red lights as the words HELLRAZORZ flashes across the Champi-O-tron. The screen then flashes to images of a flaming straight edge razor, then to live action footage of Jimmy D connecting with the "Bong Hit" through a flaming table, back to the razor icon, and then to footage of Mack McMichaels administering the Mack Attack to a hapless opponent.]
Spratcher: At a combined weight of 515 pounds, hailing from the Hamilton, Ohio and Miami, Florida, respectively, they are �Dastardly� Jimmy D and one half of the Championship Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions, Mack McMichaels. Together, they are the HEEEEEEEEEELL RAZOOOOOOOOOORS!
(Red and yellow pillars of pyrotechnics erupt from the stage entrance as the two Hell Razors storm out. Jimmy D is clad in a classic �Skynyrds Innards� t-shirt, a white bandana with a bright green marajuana leaf emblem on it wrapped tightly around his head. McMichaels enters dressed in his classic black, the CWF Tag Team Title belt secured firmly about his waist. The two make their way to the ring, ignoring the overwhelming choris of bbos from the fans in attendance.)
Eric Masterson: Y�know, I know the fans hate the Hell Razors, but the jeers I�m hearing from this capacity crowd are just out of this world!.
Vanessa McLure: No kidding, Eric. Your grasp of the obvious astounds me. And y�know, these idiots in the bleachers did the same exact thing to Kevin Kirkland last week. Don�t these clowns know that they�re booing a CWF champion?!
Matt Murdock: I think that�s part of the reason they�re jeering! They don�t want the Hell Razors to be champions.
Vanessa McLure: Well they better get used to it because Kevin Kirkland and Mack McMichaels are gonna be tag team champions for a long, long time whether these brain dead fans like it or not. I said it last week and I�ll reiterate it this week, they�re nothing but cattle! Go on! Moooo, you cows, moooooooooo!
Eric Masterson: Oh, for the love of...let�s just go back up to Chris Spratcher.
Spratcher: And now making their way to the ring...
**COME ON**
(The fans all explode as Zack De la Rocha's voice signals the entrance of SCAR. Wake Up by Rage against the Machine (The SCAR mix) bursts out of the speakers. The cheer climaxes as two rebels appear on the stage.)
Spratcher: Weighing in a total combined weight of 554 pounds haling respectively from Manchester, England and Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, they are Lee �The Shark� Sharkstone and the man known only as Lokust! They are SCAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
(Both SCAR members stand side by side and pause a moment whilst being bathed in blue, red and green flashing lights. Sharkstone and Lokust stroll down the isle "High Fiving" the fans as chants of �SCAR� and �REB-EL� echo throughout the arena. Lokust hops onto the apron and flips over the ropes. Sharkstone follows closely yet after a moment of thought, steps over the ropes rather than attempts a jump. After mounting various turnbuckles in celebration, they stand in the dead center of the ring. Suddenly they raise a right fist each in time to a hellacious explosion of pyro from all ring posts.)
Matt Murdock: And there�s the bell. It looks as if McMichaels and Lee Sharkstone will be starting things off tonight. McMichaels and Sharkstone circle each other in the center of the ring. And they tie up! Both are fighting for control and its McMichaels who forces Sharkstone into the corner. Sharkstone looks for the clean break but McMichaels fires off a chop, and another. McMichaels with the Irish whip sends Lee to the opposite turnbuckle and he follows it up with a devastating splash! Sharkstone falls to his knees and then hits the mat face first. McMichaels now stomps away at the head and shoulders of Lee Sharkstone. McMichaels with a hand full of hair yanks Lee Sharkstone to his feet. McMichaels goes for a roundhouse but Lee Sharkstone blocks and fires back! Boy, that looks like it hurts!
Vanessa McLure: Does it hurt? Then it�s good!
Trex Sharpe: Has anyone ever told you what a corny line that is, Vanessa?
Vanessa McClure: Oh shut up, Sharpe!
Eric Masterson: Lee Sharkstone follows up with a right, a left, another right. He forces McMichaels to the ropes and sends him for the ride. McMichaels ducks the clothesline. Lee Sharkstone with a leapfrog and then�BOOM�Lee Sharkstone connects with a big drop kick! Lee Sharkstone gets McMichaels back to his feet and it�s an earth shaking inverted atomic drop. McMichaels�s prancing around holding his groin. Lee Sharkstone follows up with a quick elbow to the chops. And now Lee Sharkstone with a powerful side Russian leg sweep. Lateral press.
Matt Murdock: Only a one count. Lee Sharkstone sets McMichaels up and�..textbook back breaker! McMichaels�s favoring his lower back now. The Shark�s really showing his ring savvy because he goes right to work by slapping on a chin lock and really driving that knee into McMichaels�s back! Mack is as tough as they come because he refuses to tap out!
Trex Sharpe: Yeah, ya gotta hand it to Mack. He may be an ass but he�s one tough S.O.B. If XC and I wanna win this match, McMichaels is the one we�re gonna hafta keep an eye on.
Eric Masterson: Wait! McMichaels exhibits his great amateur wrestling background and spins around to assume a back mount! Wow! He waited for Lee Sharkstone to loosen his grip and just turned it around! Now McMichaels�s sinking in with a tight headlock. Look at McMichaels with that arrogant smirk on his face.
Vanessa McLure: Listen to that crowd boo! How rude! These people need to learn to respect champions! Now a chant of �SHARK-STONE!� goes out. I just do NOT believe this!
Eric Masterson: And Lee Sharkstone is starting to power out! McMichaels�s in a state of disbelief! He�s shaking his head and screaming, �No!� The Shark�s almost out�almost�.NO! Mack with a hand-full of hair gets Lee Sharkstone back on the mat. McMichaels�s tapping his own temple to illustrate his intelligence.
Vanessa McLure: Now that�s smart wrestling! You gain an advantage and you press that advantage for all it�s worth!
Trex Sharpe: Smart wrestling? Looked more like cheating to me, Vanessa.
Vanessa McLure: Oh will you shut up?! Who invited you here anyway?
Matt Murdock: Now McMichaels unleashes a series of quick forearms. He picks Lee Sharkstone up. Ooooh! Russian leg sweep by Mack. McMichaels follows up with a quick fireman�s carry. Now a big gut buster! McMichaels�s in full control now! He�s grinning and shrugging his shoulders as he struts around the ring. He tags in Jimmy D. Jimmy D and McMichaels lift Sharkstone to his feet and � DOUBLE TEAM POWER BOMB!!! Referee Jordan Jones forces McMichaels out as Jimmy D goes to pick up Lee Sharkstone again.
Eric Masterson: NO! Lee Sharkstone with a small package out of nowhere! One�Two�Jimmy D kicks out! Great Caesar�s Ghost was that close! That totally cuaght Jimmy D off guard.
Trex Sharpe: And it ticked Jimmy D off to boot.
Eric Masterson: Now the �Dastardly One� unleashes with a flurry of rights on Lee Sharkstone. Jimmy D now with a perfectly executed vertical suplex! Jimmy D hoists Lee Sharkstone back to his feet and sends him for the ride. NO! Jimmy D with a short arm clothesline instead! �Dastardly� Jimmy D just paces now as he waits for Lee Sharkstone to get to his feet. Lee Sharkstone staggers toward his corner for the tag.
Matt Murdock: NO! Jimmy D with a hand full of tights pulls Lee Sharkstone back to the Hell Razors corner. Lokust is protesting and steps in the ring. Jordan Jones gets in Lokust�s face and the Hell Razors take full advantage of the distraction.
Trex Sharpe: Y�know, I heard rumors of a new finisher from the Razors. Looks like we just might see it now. Good. Then XC and I�ll know just how to counter it.
Matt Murdock: Jimmy D sets Lee Sharkstone up in the corner for a power bomb as McMichaels ascends the ropes. OH NO! They�re setting Lee Sharkstone up for what they call the �Slash and Burn!�
Eric Masterson: NO! Lee Sharkstone flips Jimmy D over his back! Now Sharkstone shakes the ropes! McMichaels loses his balance and gets crotched on the top turnbuckle!! Lee Sharkstone charges to his corner and �.THERE�S THE TAG!!
Matt Murdock: HOT TAG! HOT TAG! HOT TAG!!
Vanessa McLure: Here comes Lokust! The crowd goes beserk!! They have the collective IQ of a cabbage!!!
Eric Masterson: It�s clobberin� time!! A big right hand sends Jimmy D to the mat. McMichaels is still reeling on that top turnbuckle. A huge flying forearm smash by Lokust sends Jimmy D over the top rope to the floor! Now The Lokust has a hold of McMichaels. SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE!
Matt Murdock: And McMichaels clutches that back and scrambles out of the ring! The Hell Razors huddle on the outside to try and formulate a game plan. But Lokust off the ropes propels himself over the top and dive bombs the Hell Razors!!! The crowd chants out �LO-KUST LO-KUST!� Lokust tosses Jimmy D back to the inside and �a picture perfect German suplex. Jimmy D�s whipped into SCAR�s corner and Lokust makes the tag to The Perfect Predator, Lee �The Shark� Sharkstone!
Eric Masterson: Both men stomp away at D in the corner. Lokust exits as the Lee Sharkstone climbs to the second turnbuckle and raises his fist to the crowd! Listen to them cheer! And the Shark unloads as the fans count along! One �two �three �four �five �six �seven �eight �nine��..TEN!! Jimmy D staggers out of the corner and hits the mat face first! The Shark helps Jimmy D to his feet and pulls off a belly-to-back suplex. Sharkstone with a textbook brain buster. Followed up with a beautiful DDT. Jimmy D�s in trouble now. The Shark signals for the Tidal Drop but Jimmy D responds with a rake to the eyes!
Matt Murdock: Jimmy D connects with a right, a left, another right and forces the Lee Sharkstone back into the ropes. Jimmy D with an Irish whip. He bends down for a back flip but the Shark leaps over into a sunset flip! He tries to pull D over but the Hell Razor will have none of it! Jimmy D drops down and lands a big right hand right between Sharkstone�s eyes. He drags the Shark back to the Hell Razors corner and tags in McMichaels. What a great match-up, wouldn�t you agree, Vanessa?
Vanessa McLure: No.
Trex Sharpe: Is that supposed to be funny or something, Vanessa? I mean, every week Matt asks you if a match is good and you always say no. No matter who�s winning. Just so ya know, if ya think you�re being funny, well, you�re not.
Vanessa McLure: Can we turn his mic off? Anyone? Somebody? Please?!
Matt Murdock: McMichaels in full control as he pulls off a bone crushing pile driver followed up with a wonderfully executed choke slam! Mack attempts a vertical suplex but Sharkstone blocks it. McMichaels attempts it again but the Shark with another block�.AND A REVERSAL! McMichaels jumps right back up and fires off a right hand. Lee Sharkstone blocks and connects with one of his own! And another! And another! Mack now reeling against the ropes. the Shark sends him in for the ride. POWERSLAM! The Shark goes for the pin. One. Jimmy D to the top rope. Two. He leaps! Thre�
Eric Masterson: HOLY MISTIMED LEG DROPS, MATTHEW!! The Shark rolls out of the way and Jimmy D crashes down on his own partner with a big leg drop!! Lee Sharkstone picks up McMichaels and Jimmy D�DOUBLE NOGGIN� KNOCKER!! The Hell Razors crash to the mat. The Shark goes to work on McMichaels. He�s really taking it to Mack now!
Matt Murdock: Waitasec!! Coming down the aisle! It�s...it�s....I don�t know who it is!
Vanessa McLure: What do you mean you don�t know who it is?!
Matt Murdock: Take a look for yourself, Vanessa. Some masked man is lumbering down to ringside!
Trex Sharpe: Staggering is more like it! Oh brutha, this oughta be good!
Matt Murdock: Wait...Lokust seeswhat�s going on and he�s going to try to inform Referee Jordan Jones of this mystery guest.
Vanessa McLure: Are you really that big of an idiot, Mattie? �Mystery guest.� Puh-leese! Do you see what that so-called �mystery guest� is carrying?
Matt Murdock: It looks like...like...a Scottish war hammer?!
Vanessa McLure: So put two and two together, Mattie...
Matt Murdock: Oh my stars and garters! That has to be Sam Warhammer!
Vanessa McLure: Give the man a cupie doll!
Eric Masterson: Lokust is trying to get in the ring, desperately trying to warn our official, but all Jordan Jones keeps yelling is for Lokust to get back in his corner! Instead of helping, it looks as if Lokust is unintentionally distracting the referee. Now Sharkstone is becoming distracted by all the commotion on the apron, not paying any attention to the arrival of the War Machine!
Matt Murdock: Mack is dazed and confused, trying to unscramble his brain as Warhammer...
Vanessa McLure: Actually, Mattie, we don�t know for certain that that�s Sam Warhammer under that mask....
Matt Murdock: But you said...
Vanessa McLure: I say a lot of things, Mattie. Whether they�re true or not is a totally different story. Afterall, I am a heel.
Matt Murdock: What? I don�t....oh, nevermind! Regardless, the-mystery-man-who-I-think-is-Sam-Warhammer slides into the ring. Referee Jordan Jones and Lokust are still arguing as Sharkstone turns around and....
Eric Masterson: BY ODIN�S BEARD! Warhammer...or the guy we THINK is Warhammer...just clobbers Lee Sharkstone upside his head with that lousy hammer! Lee Sharkstone is busted wide open as he just crumples to the floor. Warhammer...or the guy we�re almost 100% sure is Warhammer...puts some very sloppy boots to the Shark before beating a hasty retreat. Jimmy D is still reeling from that double noggin� knocker but he still has enough wits about him to toss Mack McMichaels over Lee Sharkstone in the center of the ring!
Trex Sharpe: Looks like this one might be over thanks to one drunken bastard. And there goes Jimmy D rolling to the outside.
Matt Murdock: Referee Jordan Jones finally gets Lokust back to his corner and turns around! He counts the pin fall. One�.Two�.THREE!
Eric Masterson: NO!! Lee Sharkstone kicked out at the absolute last second!! Jordan says it was only a two count!! Both men now crawling to their corners. Who�ll make the tag first? McMichaels� Sharkstone�.McMichaels�.Sharkstone!!! Lee Sharkstone with the tag!!
Vanessa McLure: Curses!
Trex Sharpe: Curses?! Where do you get your material? From a comic book?!
Vanessa McLure: Put a sock in it, Nickie!!
Matt Murdock: And in charges Lokust! The crowd goes wild! But McMichaels makes the tag now as well! And in comes �Dastardly� Jimmy D!! The fans jeer for all they�re worth. They collide like two massive freight trains!! They exchange blows back and forth. Jimmy D gains the advantage and lifts up into a beautiful vertical suplex! Jimmy D pushes Lokust back into the corner and an Irish whip sends the Lokust crashing into the Hell Razors turnbuckle. He tags in Mack who immediately climbs to the top rope. Jimmy D sets Lokust up. Power bomb by D as Mack simultaneously hits a flying cross body block!!
Eric Masterson: SLASH AND BURN!! Slash and Burn on Lokust! What an absolutely obliterating move! Lokust is out and McMichaels with the pin! One�Two�
Matt Murdock: NO! Lee Sharkstone breaks up the pin by driving a knee right into McMichaels�s lower back. Holy moley, listen to McMichaels howl in pain! !
Eric Masterson: Now wait! Look! Out of the crowd! That�s Kevin Kirkland!!!
Vanessa McLure: He;s come to save the day!
Trex Sharpe: He�s come to crash the party is more like it!
Matt Murdock: Kirkland slides Jimmy D his tag team championship title as he hops onto the apron. The referee tries to get him down as Lokust struggles to his feet.
Eric Masterson: This one is breaking down fast!! Mother of Pearl!! Sharkstone attacks Kirkland! The two plunge to the concrete as Referee Jordan Jones tries to separate them! OH! it looks like Kirkland landed awkwardly. He�s clutching his head and screaming in pain. Kevin Kirkland may be seriously hurt, folks!
Vanessa McLure: No! Say it ain�t so! Not poor Kevin!!
Trex Sharpe: I�d wager top dollar that that�s a concussion, worst case scenerio. Skull fracture at worst.
Matt Murdock: Well, if I�m not mistaken, I�d concur withthe latter, Trex! I do believe I see blood trickling out of Kirkland�s right ear!
Vanessa McLure: Oh, like you can see anything, Murdock! He can�t have a skull fracture! That�ll put him out of commission for Maximum Carnage, only one week away on Pay-Per-View!
Eric Masterson: Call your local cable operator and place your order now!
Trex Sharpe: What a cheap plug, lemme tell ya!
Vanessa McLure: No no no! Kevin Kirkland was screwed out of winning the CWF World title last week! Now he�ll be screwed out of getting his shot next week on Pay Per View! It�s just not fair!!
Eric Masterson: I�ll tell you what�s not fair! Look at what�s going on inside the ring! OH NO!! Jimmy D smacks Lokust with Kirkland�s championship belt as the referee chacks on Kirkland�s condition and Lokust hits the deck! WAIT!! Here comes CWF World Heavyweight Champion and fellow SCAR member, �Genocidal� Joey Reid from the locker room! Jimmy D belts Reid with the tag title�.NO!
Matt Murdock: Reid blocks it!! Boot to the gut rocks Jimmy D! Now Reid has the title!!! HE BLASTS Jimmy D!! Jimmy D�s split open!! McMichaels gets to his feet and the Reid bashes McMichaels right on the chin with his partner�s own title!! I bet you that knocked loose a few fillings.
Vanessa McLure: Did it hurt? Then it�s good!! Now Jimmy D charges Reid and the two tumble to the outside! Here come the EMT�s to help Kirkland as Jordan Jones hops back in the ring. The two legal men, Mack McMichaels and Lokust, are both sprawled out in the center of the ring.
Matt Murdock: Look! Lokust is stirring! He manages to fling an arm over Mack for the pin!! The referee sees it and counts!! One...Two...THREE!!! SCAR has won!! What an amazing fight!! SCAR has won!!!
Matt: Fans what a wild night, we'll see you...
Voice: Wait just a minute Matthew.
Eric: What's going on?
Vanessa: Look up at the Champ-a-Tron.
Mr. Sharpe: Greetings CWF losers. Global Networks has been busy lately, but we have not forgotten about CWF. In an effort to make this fed more presitigous as it once was, we have decided to fire some wrestlers. They are as follows... Crush, Crimson, Blade Micahels and Damien Razor. Crush, Crimson and Damien Raiser were released from their contracts and are currently cleaning bathrooms at White Castles. As for Blade Micahels...come out to the ring right now, you sick son of a bitch.
[Blade Michaels comes out to the ring with a microphone.]
Blade: What
Mr. Sharpe: Shut up when I'm talking to you. Blade, I may not be the nicest of people, but you're a sick individual.
[Mr. Sharpe opens the folder he�s holding and pulls out a security camera picture of Blade Michaels, who appears to be masturbating in the bank. He also looks like he�s completely gone on crack]
Mr. Sharpe: You disguist me.
[Blade looks stunned, his jaw is wide open. Then, Ricky Paige and Rocky Miller, come out to the ring.]
Ricky: Blade, you're a loser. Prepare to meet your fate.
Rocky: Yeah man, bring it!
[Blade tries to defend himself but...]
Matt: Ricky and Rocky hit a double dropkick!!!
Eric: Ricky hits a DDT and Rocky nails a big splash from the top rope!!
Vanessa: Rocky brings out a table. Rocky is standing on top of the table with Blade Michaels in a piledriver position.
Matt: Ricky comes off the tope rope and they SPIKE him!!!
Eric: That might be the end of Blade Michaels.
Vanessa: And not one fan in the arena seems to care. They are all cheering Ricky and Rocky on.
Mr. Sharpe: Let that be a lesson to every CWF wrestler. You slack off in the ring, you cause trouble backstage, and you will be fired. Jack Pander, Eric Austin...you better heed my warnings. You two might be next.
Matt: Fans, I've just gotten word that something is occuring in the back. Lets take a look.
[There is a shot of the parking area. A Silverado is parked nearby. Jimmy D and Mack are walking out towards his Jag. Jimmy stops and looks at the truck]
Jimmy: Hey Mack isnt this Justin's truck??
Mack: I think so.
[Jimmy walks over to the drivers side and starts to kick the shit out of the door. The door is denting from Jimmys kicks. He then removes his shirt and wraps it around his hand. He punches
out the driver side window and smashes the side mirror.]
Mack:Damn what was that for?
Jimmy: Dunno. I just hate Chevy trucks. Want to go eat?
Mack:Cool!
[Mack turns to walk away but he cant resist the urge. He runs up to Justin's truck and kicks the passenger side door.]
Mack: Why should the new guy get all the fun?
[Jimmy and Mack go over to Mack's Jag and get in. As soon as the engine starts Justin Blade comes out. Mack pulls up next to him and rolls down his window.]
Mack: Hey Justin BITCH......I mean Blade. Sorry about your truck man.
[Mack pounds the gas and peels away.]
Eric: Justin Blade is still in the ring, and he's LIVID!! Fans, we'll be right back.
Matt: Fans we've got to go. Buy Maximum Carnage next week!!!
[FTB]
Special Thanks to: Sam Warhammer, Dave Allan, Pretty Boy, Jimmy D and Commish Summers for writing matches.
Special Thanks to: Matt Vaughn and Victor Creed for doing the card.
Note: Match writers, we really need you guys to get your matches in on the given DATE that we give you. If you do not send your match in without a good excuse, or you are late almost every week, punishment will be taken. The CWF staff works hard at booking, updating and doing cards. It's bullshit that a few selfish people delay cards for the whole fed, and make it harder on the staff. The only people who have any right to complain are people who write matches. To the people who wrote matches this week, we're sorry that some matches(including ones that you guys were in) had to be darked. No one else has any right to complain. If you don't write matches, or you don't send yours in, we could care less if you cry about a late card. We could care less if you're a main eventer, writing is a responsibility, and the fed can only work if you accept that.
