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Wrestling Federation.]
[Fade into the Mall of America. Camera shot of a CWF ring, admist several hundred fans standing near it. The camera pans up five floors showing about two hundred fans on each level looking down at the CWF ring. A roller
coaster is near the CWF ring and sounds of little kids screaming can be heard. Godless by UPO is playing as the opening theme.]
Chris Spracher: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to CWF's Maximum Carnage, Feburary 25th 2001. Tonight, promises to be a night of epic proportions. Let's take you know to our announcers. Matt, take it away my friend.
Matt Murdock: Fans, before we start this show, I want to show you some footage that took place just a few moments ago. This is sickening.
(The scene shifts to somewhere outside the Mall of America. The camera shows two men looming against some darkened, shadow infested mall loading dock, looking out over the parking lot. One man is clad in a long black trench coat, a long metal chain in his right hand. The other seems to be dressed in what looks to be a Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt, wielding a lead pipe. The CWF announcer's voices can be heard over the scene)
Matt Murdock: Well I can't be sure because I can't see very well�
Vanessa McLure: There's an understatement.
Matt Murdock: Because it's poorly lit! As I was saying, I'm not sure but that looks Mack McMichaels and Jimmy D of Hell Razor fame. But what are they doing outside?
(Just then, a taxi, painted a horrid canary yellow, the words, "Punjaab's Cabs" stenciled on it's doors, pulls into the picture. The taxi slows to a stop. It's rear door opens and out steps�)
Eric Masterson: It's Sam Warhammer! The War Machine has arrived!
(Warhammer, clad in his suede leather jacket, blue jeans, and matching CWF t-shirt and bandana goes to the front passenger side of the window cab, putting down his athletic bag and withdrawing his wallet.)
Warhammer: So's how much do I owe ya?
Driver: Twenty seven dollars.
Warhammer: Twenty seven? That's highway robbery! Ya only drove me about 6 miles here from my hotel!!!
Driver: Well, sir, if you have a problem with my fares, then may I suggest walking next time? Although with the amount of liquor I detect on your breath, I doubt that you could walk anywhere.
Warhammer: Why I oughtta...here! Twenty seven dollars! No tip!
(Warhammer tosses the money into the window and proceeds to walk toward the mall grumbling. The camera then pans back to McMichaels and Jimmy D lurking in the darkness.)
Jimmy D: There he is, Mack. The guy who stuck his nose into our match last week! We should've won that match against SCAR! I guess he thought he was helping us but he wasn't much help, was he?
McMichaels: So ol' Sam Warhammer wants to get involved in Hell Razor business, does he? Well, then, Jimmy, lets go make sure that he gets fully involved so that what happened this past week on Danger Zone doesn't happen this week here at Maximum Carnage.
(McMichaels turns to the camera as Jimmy D starts sneaking up on Warhammer.)
McMicheals: Sorry folks. This is a private matter. No prying eyes!
(Suddenly the camera goes black and the scene cuts back to Matt, Eric, and Vanessa sitting at ringside)
Matt Murdock: Oh my stars and garters! I knew the Hell Razors were upset with Warhammer for him interfering in their match last week, but I think this ambush is a uncalled for!
Eric Masterson: And remember, we're not 100% sure if that was really Sam Warhammer who ran down during the Danger Zone main event! He was wearing a mask after all. Not to mention Warhammer has claimed that, in fact, it was not him under that mask! The Hell Razors may be attacking an innocent man!!
Matt Murdock: We've got to get another camera out there ASAP!
Vanessa McLure: Hey, Matt, Warhammer made his bed. Now he's got to lay in it! We have a Pay Per View going on here and it's time for the first match!
Christopher Spratcher: Our first match is the CWF-style strap match! Introducing first: representing the Hellrazors, "Extreme" ERIC AUUUUSTIN!!!!
(Austin comes down to the ring to a chorus of boos.)
And second, "MUSCLEMAN" JAAAACK PAAAAANDER!!!!
Murdock: These two men getting strapped together now, this will end with a pinfall or submission and it�s anything goes.
McClure: I see Austin getting the duke.
Masterson: Pander trips Austin and is dragging him along with the strap, into a pet store here at the Mall of America!
Murdock: He bodyslams him into the snake pits! There�s a python in there and it�s trying to rip Austin�s neck off! But he escapes!
McClure: Nice shot with a hamster cage there from Austin! Oh, a BEAUTIFUL double underhook suplex onto the rest of the hamster cages! Haha! He�s force-feeding him hamster food!
Murdock: Austin now choking Pander with the strap and he�s dragging him into a hardware store! No, not the cordless drills! EWW! Pander is wide open! But he grabbed a hammer and smacked Austin in the head with it! SPINEBUSTER FROM PANDER! 1�2�NO! Austin kicked out after two and a half.
McClure: They�re into Sam Goody�s now! Austin is slicing at Pander�s head with some CD�s trying to cut him more and he�s also beating him with videos at the same time! Austin�s great, don�t you think?
Masterson: As the late, great, Gordon Solie would say, both men wearing the crimson mask. Austin has a sleeper hold on Pander, but Pander counters with a jawbreaker and takes Austin into McDonald�s. He�s choking him with a Happy Meal toy! That can�t be the image Disney wanted for The Emperor�s New Groove�
McClure: Austin now with a big-time piledriver! 1�2�almost a three count there, can he follow up? I hope so! He�s trying to put Pander into the deep fryer! No! Damnit, Pander got away! They battle on top of that table now�POWERBOMB FROM AUSTIN! 1�2�NO!!
Murdock: Austin is trying to follow up with some high risk move, he�s onto the second floor balcony with Pander on the table below�THE TABLE GAVE WAY UNDER AUSTIN�S ELBOW DROP! BOTH MEN ARE IN AGONY! AUSTIN COULD HAVE A BROKEN HIP AND PANDER PROBABLY HAS CRACKED RIBS! The referee is doing a double count now, 1�2�3�4�5�6�7�8�9�10! A double knockout here and we don�t have a winner! That was a great contest, but we need some medics here right now! While both men are getting treatment we�ll go to our next match, people at CWF�S MAXIMUM CARNAGE, exactly what we�ve had right here!
Eric: Before we go to our next match, we have this annoucement fans.
Matt: Wait, something is happening in the parking lot
[Camera cuts to parking lot]
Eric Masterson: Look, there�s Victor Creed, getting out of his car, getting ready to head into the arena�
Matt Murdock: Uh oh�Joey Reid is behind that car there�and he leeps out in front of Creed�
Joey Reid: [Holding a light tube] Here�s your surpise!!!
Matt Murdock: Joey Reid just smashed that tube over Creed�s head!!!
(The screen fades to black and we suddenly see Mack McMichaels standing in front of a gray curtain.)
Anouncer: The following is a PSA brought to you by Mack McMichaels.
Mack: Remember kids, there is may not be an I in Team but there is a Me Team.
Anouncer: This message was brought to you by every child's idle, Mack McMichaels.
(The screen fades to black and we then return to the PPV.)
Matt: Um...okay. Mack's ego gets better everyday. Fans lets take you to Spratcher.
Christopher Spratcher: Our next match is scheduled for ONE FALL and is with a 60-MINUTE TIME LIMIT! Introducing first, "THE ICEMAN" STEVE JOHNSON!!!
(Steve Johnson appears at the top of the ramp and makes his way down to a chorus of boos.)
And now, SAM WARHAMMER!
(Warhammer doesn�t come out.)
Ah, Sam Warhammer?
Murdock: Well, it looks to me like that savage beating from the Hellrazors has put Sam Warhammer out of action. He could have sustained any kind of injury from that brutal assault quite frankly.
McClure: Savage my ass!
Murdock: A lot of people want to savage your ass, Vanessa.
McClure: Hey, I�ll get you for that!
Murdock: Looks like we�ll have to go to our next match, your winner is Steve Johnson by default here I�m afraid.
Matt Murdock: Our next match-up in the mall is the best 2 out of 3 falls match between Damon Brock and Blacklung.
Eric Masterson: We�re ready for the introductions.
("All Hell Breaks Lose" by the Misfits hits and Blacklung comes to the ring smokin� the clove cigarette)
Chris Spracher: Introducing first, standing 6� 1", weighing in at 190 lbs., BLACKLUNG!!!!
(Blacklung snuffs his cigarette as "Poetry" by BPD hits and Damon Brock walks to the ring)
Chris Spracher: Second, standing 6� 3", weighing in at 245 lbs., DAMON BROCK!!!
(Brock climbs in the ring)
Chris Spracher: This match is 2 out of 3 falls. First person with 2 falls wins the match.
Ding�ding
Matt Murdock: The two men are staring each other down. Blacklung looks like he�s going to try something�
Eric Masterson: Blacklung dives for Brock�s legs, but Brock jumps, and kicks Blacklung in the head. Blacklung rolled through it though, and is back on his feet.
Vanessa McLure: I must admit that that was pretty cool.
Matt Murdock: They�re staring each other down again�this time Brock lunges, and Blacklung leap-frogs over him, turns�GERMAN SUPLEX! Ouch�
Eric Masterson: Blacklung is up and ready for Brock to get up�
Matt Murdock: Brock is getting to his feet�SUPERKICK by Blacklung, and Brock is back down. Blacklung goes for the pin�
1�2
Vanessa McLure: He�s out at two�
Matt Murdock: Blacklung is frustrated. Brock is back up�and Blacklung has him hooked�DOUBLE ARM DDT! That should get Blacklung a fall�
1�2�
Eric Masterson: HE KICKED OUT! How did he kick out of that?
Vanessa McLure: I don�t know�maybe Blacklung is just weak and can�t hurt people.
Matt Murdock: Brock is up and fighting now, both men are duking it out like there is no tomorrow. I thought these guys were the "odd-couple". Brock is slowly getting the edge�and he just ducked a big right hand, hits the Sun Devil Bulldog, and locks on the Katahajime.
Eric Masterson: The ref is asking is he wants to tap out�and he does! The ref is signaling one fall for Brock.
Matt Murdock: Brock has let go of Blacklung, and is hoisting him back to his feet. Brock is setting him up for a reverse powerbomb�but Blacklung is squirming�and he gets lose landing a huge, implant like DDT. Blacklung
appears to be on top now.
Vanessa McLure: Just get it over with!
Matt Murdock: I can�t believe these guys haven�t gone out into the mall yet. Blacklung just sent Brock down with a hip-toss, and follows up with a quick elbow drop!
Eric Masterson: Now Blacklung is throwing Brock to the corner�big splash! Brock is stumbling out�kick to the gut by Blacklung�
Matt Murdock: AMERICAN NIGHTMARE!!! Blacklung goes for the cover�
1�2�3
Vanessa McLure: It�s all tied up one to one now.
Voice: This match is OVER!!!
Eric Masterson: Wait a minute, there's Mr. Sharpe.
Mr. Sharpe: Brock, I hated your cousin when I saw him on CWF Television. Although Global Networks didn't own CWF back then, I still hated him with a passion. Now I get to inflict pain upon you. And Blacklung, you're not even
worth the peanuts we pay you with. Both of you, I'm forcing you to become a tag team. And if you do not listen to me, you're both fired. Next week, in addition to Blacklung facing Derek Mullrooney, both of you will have your
first tag team match.....against SCAR.
Eric: Well, ladies and gentlemen the brawl at the mall continues here at Maximum Carnage, with the man that is all that is left of the Devils Children, and one of the toughest competitors we have ever seen here in the CWF.
(The pyro explodes, and 666 by Prodigy explodes over the speakers of the mall finally killing the annoying elevator music, Lucifer comes down the escalator and stops in the middle of the mall, the mall becomes silent. The lights dim lightly, and the elevator door dings on the ground floor. Pretty boy steps out.)
Eric: We are under way and Lucifer just speared Pretty Boy back into the elevator and smashed the mirror on its back wall.
Matt: Yeah that was quick, Lucifer didn't even get his duster off and he is up one mirror.
Vanessa: wow, I really hoping for a great match *the sarcasm is unmistakeable*
Eric: Look at that elevator is on its way up, and these two are throwing fist all the way up. Lucifer just cracked Pretty on the glass side of the elevator.
Matt: wow we have blood already.
Vanessa: Yeah more blood just what we needed. Lucifer is dragging him into Victoria's Secret.
Matt: Well she doesn't have too many secrets anymore.
Vanessa: Mmmm, that black set is nice.
Matt: What?
Vanessa: Sorry, mattie I know you only know what they look like on barbie dolls.
Eric: Ahem....Lucifer is charging Pretty Boy with clothing rack. But pretty boy dodged it.
Matt: That was quick thinking.
Eric: Now Pretty Boy is cholking Lucifer with a black silk thong, Lucifer is going down. Pretty Boy has him in the back area and irish whips him into a mirror in the change area.
Vanessa: God, boys will be boys, eh mattie?
Matt: what? What did she say?
Eric: Pay attention Matt. Pretty Boy is leaving the panites store, and Lucifer is crawling out of the reckage after him. Lucifer just pushed Pretty Boy over the railing, but Pretty boy managed to grab a sales banner that is still up from Valentines day.
Matt: But it only managed to slow his fall he crashed into some tree's and bushes that are planted inside the mall. What a wreck
Vanessa: That insensitive jerk. Those flowers were beautiful.
Eric: Lucifer is now getting off the down escalator, and pulling pretty boy onto the up one, he is feeding a dazed pretty boy lefts and rights, and oh no. Pretty Boy's shirt just got caught he is being sucked into the stair way. Lucifer just hit the emergency shut off and ran into that department store,
Matt: Pretty Boy is gonna lose this match.
Vanessa: There isn't a year that goes by, not a year where I don't hear about some bastard getting caught in an escalator. This wouldn't happen if one parent, I don't care which one taught him to fear and respect that ESCALATOR!!!!
Eric: Lucifer is return from the sunglass hut with four small counter mirrors. This could be it, Lucifer is taunting Pretty boy. He just smacked him with 1.....and now 2......now with the 3rd and here comes,.....no Pretty Boy just kicked Lucifer backwards down the stairs, but he is bleeding profusely.
Matt: Lucifer may have a broken neck.
Vanessa: Well guess that is his problem eh mattie?
Eric: Pretty Boy, has ripped him shirt off in an attempt to get out of the jaws of the moving stairs. Pretty Boy, is steadying himself with the balcony railing, he looks up, into the rafters of the mall, towards the roller-coasters appex, he is looking a mirror.
Matt: I think he is praying to God.
Vanessa: Well he has better Lucifer has turned the escalator back on and is lying on it trying to get back up to Pretty Boy, he only needs one more mirror to win.
Eric: Pretty boy is racing the third level as fast as he can and Lucifer is doing his best to follow. They reach the third
floor. Pretty Boy just headed, into that McDonalds.
Matt:What does he has in mind?
Vanessa: apparently he'd like fries with that Mattie.
Matt: I told you not to call me that.
Vanessa: Ok Mattie.
Eric: Lucifer crawls upto the counter and Pretty pops up from behind it and surprises him, now he shoves his head under the pop fountain and turns on the coke, he is trying to drown him in pop.
Matt: This is very intense.
Eric: But Lucifer with a Low Blow turn it around. They stumble into a sport good store. Pretty Boy just hit Lucifer in the head with repeated hardballs.
Vanessa: What aim!
Eric: Now, he sets him up on the glass counter, and oh my god pulling pile driver, through the glass, and the shelves are made of mirrors, Pretty Boy just got three in one shot. Both men are down, and are fountains of plasma. Pretty Boy rises to his feet and drags Lucifer out of the store, and OH MY GOD they are headed for the Brand NEW CWF store here in the Mall of America. Pretty Boy just picked up a hand held pretty boy mirror. He winds up, and he just hit a home run with Lucifers chin.
Matt: It is over, your winner is Pretty Boy. Wait what is that in the backround? That Maniquin is moving.
Eric: It is dave allan he was posing in the Terry Black display, he just stepped out and *thrunk*, he just drilled Lucifer in the forehead with that louisville slugger. He dropped the bat and calmly walked away.
(the camera takes a close up of the blood covered barrel it reads "I accept.")
Eric: This was it, this was Lucifer's answer to his question for that special hell in a cell match.
[BOOOM BOOOM]
Vanessa McLure: What was that!!!???
Eric Masterson: Two of the mannequins just exploded, I guess to emphasize the answer!!!
Matt: Well fans, it's time for the TV Title contest.
Murdock-It is time for the TV Title match which is No DQ, No Time limit, there has to be a winner.
McLure- This are three men who are hungry to hurt each other. Masterson has the neck doing.
Masterson- Very funny, I just hope Pretty Boy gets his later. Looks like we are about to kick this match off.
Murdock- Who will be the winner of this match? Will Justin Blade stay the champ? Will Dave Allen get gold or will Jimmy D get it?
[Lights go out in the arena and on the Champ-o-tron the cover of "A Clockwork Orange" flashes on the screen with a flashes of Justin Blade laughing and over the PA system blares " My Generation" by Limp Bizkit and from the back come Justin Blade's Seven Disciples come out in long black robes and carrying what look likes gas powered weed whackers and as red pryo goes off, Justin comes from the back with the CWF TV strap on his shoulder and he is wearing a Philadelphia, Flyers jersey with the name Schultz on the back and the number 38 and a pair of black jeans and he is his drinking a bottle of Yeung Ling Lager as he heads towards the ring.]
McLure- The ref has ask for the bell to ring. So it begins, there must be a winner here today. I just hope it ends tonight.
Masterson- Both Allen and Jimmy go after Blade. The double team in the corner with series of punches. Allen turns and nails Jimmy D a right hook. Jimmy D is stunned as Allen pounds on Blade. Blade falls to the mat as Jimmy D grabs Allen from behind and gives him a German suplex.
McLure- Blade looks dazed. Jimmy D quickly goes after Blade and begins to kick in the mid scetion. allen is back to his feet and helps Jimmmy kick Blade. Blade rolls out of the ring and falls onto the mat. Jimmy and allen begin to exchange punches.
Murdock- Blade is out laying on the floor. Allen nails Jimmy with a hard right but it has no affect on him. Jimmy whips allen to the ropes, Allen comes off Jimmy delivers a drop kick. Allen falls to the mat. Jimmy goes outside the ring and right after Blade who is still down. Jimmy tries to grab Blade but Blade low blows Jimmy.
Masterson- Blade was acting tthe whole time on the floor. Blade quickly gives Jimmy a DDT. Allen slides out of the ring behind Blade and doubles ax handles him in his back. Allen then grabs Blade and is leading him into out of the ring area into near the stores.
McLure-Here we go now the fun begins. Allen whips Blade into a pillard and Blade goes down. Jimmy is still shaken up after the DDT by Blade. Allen goes of the count. The ref gets into position but Blade quicxkly kicks out. No count.
Masterson- Allen is yelling at the ref. What the? Jimmy just nails Allen with a trash can. I thought Jimmy was still out. Allen is laid out next to Blade who is slowly getting to his feet. Jimmy grabs Blade and throws him through the glass window of Lady Foot Locker.
Murdock- Blade just took out a display of women running shoes. Blade is cut open, Jimmy quickly grabs a piece of the display and nails Blades back with it. Jimmy then walks over to Allen and nails him. Jimmy grabs Allen.
McLure-Jimmy is taking Allen into Pet World. They are exchanging blows. Jimmy picks up a bone and nails Allen across the head. Allen drops to the ground. What is Jimmy doing now?
Masterson- Looks like he is moving a large dog cage near Allen. Jimmy grabs Allen and is trying to put him into the cage. I can't believe what I am seeing.
Murdock- Allen is trying to fight Jimmy off but Jimmy won't quit. Jimmy picks up the bone and nails Allen again. Allen is knocked out cold. Jimmy pushes Allen into the large dog cage and locks. I can't believe Allen is locked in a dog cage.
McLure- Well he is no longer a facter in this match. Jimmy is walking out of Pet World. OH MY GOD, he was nail taken out be a large garbage cart that was pushing by Blade. Blade grabs Jimmy and whips him into the counter of Pretzel Zone. Jimmy is not looking like he can stand on his own well. Blade lifts up part of the counter and brings Jimmy behind him. Blade just throw Jimmy into the ICEE machine. Jimmy is busted open.
Murdock- So is the machine, there is Cherry ICEE all over Jimmy and the floor. Blade grabs a cup scoops up so ICEE takes a drink and throws it in Jimmy's face. Jimmy is dazed right now.
Masterson- Blade throws Jimmy over the counter. and clims it after him. Blade takes a napkin holder and nails Jimmy in the head with it to open the cut more. Blade goes to grab a chair. Jimmy is some how back to his feet.
McLure- Blade tries to nail him but he blocks it and use it to nail Blade. Blade staggers back a few steps. Jimmy quickly goes after Blade. Jimmy spears Blade right into the fountain in the middle of the mall. Both men are soaked. Jimmy tries to get up but slips on his ass. Blade is just laying in the water.
Masterson: Blade grabs a weedwacker out of nowhere! They are in front of a lawn repair shop.
Eric Masterson: I can't even hear myself think right now with all of these weedwhackers being on, what is this sick and twisted indivdual gonna have those misguided indivduals do with those weedwhackers.
Matt Murdock: I have no clue Eric but I think I may need a barf bag if this match get's out of hand how about you Vanessa.
Vanessa Mc Lure: What this is the type of stuff I like to see, Blade told D and Allen this was his type of match and he is gonna prove it them.
Murdock- Jimmy crawls over to Blade and goes for the cover. The ref counts, but Blade some how kicks out. Jimmy throws Blade out of the fountain. Blade gets to his feet but is welcomes with a clothesline from Jimmy. Jimmy walks over to the information cover and climbs on the counter. Blade in leaving on his back. He would not, would he?
Masterson-Jimmy leaps off the counter and nails blade with a splash. Refs counts, 1...2...3... We got ourselves a winner. Jimmy D has won this weird and exciting match.
Vanessa McLure: That match was pretty damn exciting folks. Let�s see if the next match can top it.
Matt Murdock: Fans, our next match-up here in the Mall of America is for the People�s title.
Eric Masterson: That�s right, it�s time for Johnny Gold vs. Nick Sharpe. I�ve been waiting for this all night.
Vanessa McLure: I�ve been waiting for somebody talented to come out here an replace you all night.
Eric Masterson: Ouch, ouch.
Matt Murdock: Cut it out you guys. Let�s go to Chris Spracher for the introductions.
(Nookie by Limp Bizkit hits and Gold swaggers down to the ring)
Chris Spracher: Introducing first, the challenger, STUDLY JOHNNY GOLD!
(Orgasmatron by Motorhead hits and Nick Sharpe makes his way to the ring, wearing the usual get-up)
Chris Spracher: Introducing second, your CWF People�s Champion, NICK SHARPE!
Ding�ding
Matt Murdock: There�s the bell, and here we go. Both men are pacing around each other, sizing things up. Sharpe is edging Gold on�and Gold responds, and with a lot of force. He just knocked Sharpe flat with a shoulder charge. Now Gold is trying to get Sharpe in an ankle-lock, but Nick Sharpe isn�t going to let that happen, he�s fighting out.
Eric Masterson: Now both of them are staring each other down. Gold makes the move again, but Sharpe ducks the clothesline, and he�s got a hold of Gold�big back drop. Sharpe is pulling Gold back up�and he just dumped him out of the ring onto the mall floor.
Vanessa McLure: Maybe things will get a little more interesting now�
Matt Murdock: The two men are exchanging fists out in the center court by fountains. They�re getting close the amusement park that is located here in the park, and that could get a little dangerous.
Eric Masterson: Left, right, left, right, these guys are relentless. Oh, Sharpe just blocked one of Gold�s punches�and hits him hard with another right�Gold is stumbling towards a fountain.
Matt Murdock: Sharpe is charging..SPEAR�he just speared Johnny Gold into that fountain, both men are soaking wet, but that isn�t stopping them. They�re both up and punching again�and once again Sharpe has the upper hand.
Vanessa McLure: This isn�t a wet t-shirt contests, what the heck are they doing?
Eric Masterson: Sharpe has Gold hooked�Exploder Suplex back into the water. What a move!
Matt Murdock: Finally the guys are out of the fountain and battling towards the other side of the court. OUCH, Gold just through Sharpe through a table, and he�s right on him smashing his head into the rubble. Gold has let up now�and he�s going to find one of those chairs that are everywhere in the mall�and he�s got one, but Nick is up, and he looks angry.
Eric Masterson: Gold is just turning around with that chair, and Nick Sharpe goes for the dropkick, and knocks the chair squarely into Gold�s chest. Now Sharpe is dragging Johnny Gold across the mall�and he through him into one of those jewelry carts that set in the middle of the halls�Gold hit is head hard on that glass case.
Vanessa McLure: Uh oh, I don�t like the look of what Nick is going to do�
Matt Murdock: OH MY GOD! He just smashed Johnny Gold�s face through that case!
Eric Masterson: I guess he won�t be too studly anymore.
Matt Murdock: Gold is split wide-open, but Sharpe isn�t letting all that blood running from Gold�s face stop him from pounding it with his fist. Nick Sharpe is mutalating him.
Eric Masterson: Gold seems to be pretty helpless. He�s just backing up trying to avoid those punches. He�s running out of room though, they�re almost into that American Outfitters store�oh no�no�Gold is staggering, right in front of the window�Sharpe better not�
Matt Murdock: NO NO NO!�SHARPE JUST POWERBOMBED JOHNNY GOLD THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW OF THE AMERICAN OUTFITTER�S.
Eric Masterson: Jesus Christ, that could it be it for Johnny Gold. The ref is running over there as Sharpe goes for the pin�
1�2�2 2/3
Matt Murdock: Somehow Gold kicked out�how did he get up, how?
Eric Masterson: Sharpe is looks frustrated, he thinks that should�ve been all. Gold is slowly up. Sharpe is lunging at him�but Gold steps to the side, and he helps Sharpe�s momentum, sending him into a clothesrack!
Vanessa McLure: This is just brutal.
Matt Murdock: You�re right about that Vanessa. These two men are beating the hell out of each other. Gold has Sharpe now�and he just DDT�d him on top of the check-out counter, and he�s going for the pin�
1�2�
Eric Masterson: Nick Sharpe had a pretty close call there. This match has been back and forth, and now both men are bleeding pretty bad. They�re duking it out again, back out into the hall�man, I�ve never seen such determination. When one of them gets a good shot in the other just hits harder!
Matt Murdock: Now they�ve stumbled into a Sam Goody�Gold is gaining the edge, and just threw Nick up onto a cd-rack�and he�s dragging him down it�oh man.
Vanessa McLure: They�re ruining great music, who do they think they are?
Matt Murdock: Gold is looking for something besides CD�s to hit Sharpe with, but he can�t find anything right near him, and Nick is getting back up. He�s right behind Gold�Gold wheels around, Nick Sharpe goes for the Powerslam�but Gold won�t budge.
Eric Masterson: Gold is holding his ground�and he reverses it!! Gold slams Trex onto the CD rack with a sick crash. Now Gold has grabbed some CD�s, and it appears that they are Iron Maiden cd�s, and threw them on the ground�looks like he�s going to innovate something right here and now�.He�s up on the CD rack with Sharpe�and he�s lifting him up�ONE NIGHT STAND!!! Right onto those CD�s.
1�2�3
Eric Masterson: Johnny Gold is your winner fans, and he is your new People�s Champion�and I think that was "No Prayer for the Dying" and "Powerslave" that gave him the win�I guess Sharpe didn�t have a prayer after the One Night Stand got him.
Vanessa McLure: At least he didn�t destroy something good�
Matt Murdock: If this was the PPV that Dickinson was at I think he�d have something to say about that�
Eric Masterson: Well, we�ve got to get onto our next match, and hopefully somebody will be around to clean up that rubble.
Matt Murdock: Well folks it's time for the Extreme Hardcore title Flag match, in which Extreme Icon, Death Row, and Travis Lee.
Eric Masterson: Speaking of Extreme Icon, we hear there's something going on in his locker room.
(The camera changes scenes and we are now seeing the outside of Icon's locker room. He is grabbing his title and is about to come out when he notices a it. A small, white sheet of paper. Icon picks it up, and gets and outraged look on his face. He turns to the camera man and begins talking to the cameraman.)
Icon: Who gave this to you?
Camera man: Huh?
Icon: Who gave you this note?!
Camera Man: I don't know. He was wearing a mask!
Icon: That's BULL!
(Icon throws the note down and attacks the camera man. The camera falls on the ground but stays recording. As
Icon continues to beat up the camera man off camera the white piece of paper floats slowly down to the ground. On it, it red, poorly written letters, is "Faith is the least of your worries.....". Suddenly the camera is hit and goes staticy and then black.)
Chris Spratcher: Ladies and Gents, this next matchup here at Maximum Carnage.
("Killing In the Name Of" by Rage Against The Machine Plays over the PA system of the Mall of America. Extreme Icon walks out to the ring wearing his Extreme Hardcore Title. He grabs the mic.)
Extreme Icon: Death Row, Travis, get your asses down here now. I am going to walk away from this match the Extreme Hardcore Champion. And I am going to leave this Pay Per View the CWF Champion.
(Icon drops the mic. Death Row and Travis Benjamin Lee each make their seperate ways down to the ring. The bell is rung and the match begins.)
Matt : Fans, this is a flag match. Icon has been a dominant E.H. Champion.
Eric: All three men exchanging blows in the middle of the ring. Ref Greg Falling not stopping this intense action. Icon with a double clothesline on Row and Travis. Row up and gives Icon a gut shot and then a jawbreaker.
Vanessa: Travis grabs a chair on the outside, swings at Icon, misses, and also misses Death Row. Icon and Row both nail right hands on Travis.
Matt: Travis drops the chair, Icon grabs it and is about to swing at Travis.
Eric: Row goes outside, grabs a chair and then rolls back in. Icon signals something to Death Row.
Matt: MY GOD, DOUBLE CHAIR shot. Conchairto!!!!!
Vanessa: Yeah, I like it!
Eric: Icon throws Travis to the outside and starts his search for his opponents flags.
Matt: So does Death Row.
Vanessa: Icon walking around, peaking into each store looking for flags. Death Row's flag is a Flag of Iron Maiden.....Travis has a confederate flag....and Icon has a flag of the New England Patriots.
Eric: Icon looking in Victoria Secrets.
Vanessa: That pervert.
Matt: OH my! Death Row just rammed Icon with a shopping cart full of VCR's, DVD's and CD players. That must have weighed several hundred pounds and it KNOCKED Icon right into the store on top of a panty display!
Eric: Death Row is smiling right now. He continues his search for his opponents flags.
Vanessa: Travis tries getting in Death Row's face but Death Row grabs a glass scupture of Madonna, from a Glass and Porecelin store and CRACKS it over Travis.
Matt: Madonna, makes the wrestlers, come together.
Eric: Um...no.
Vanessa: Icon is getting up.
Eric: Death Row has found Icon's flags. It's in a starbucks coffee shop.
Vanessa: Oh, how trendy.
Matt: Death Row goes to grab it but Icon breaks a chair over the back of Death Row.
Eric: Both men are exchanging punches.
Vanessa: Travis just THREW a pitcher of hot coffee on them. Heh alright Travis.
Matt: Icon and Row are on the ground withering in pain. Those men may have third degree burns, damn Travis. All in the name of a fricking title.
Eric: Easy Matt. Icon and Death Row both have on enough clothing, I doubt any of the burns are too severe, thank God.
Vanessa: Icon and Death Row grab some plastic SPORKS???
Matt: They're trying to CUT Travis with SPORKS. I don't believe this.
Eric: Laugh if you will, but they have BROKEN the skin of Travis.
Vanessa: Icon is leaving and Death Row is following.
Matt: Wait, the flag is RIGHT THERE. Why is Death Row following Icon?
Eric: Good point Matt, and I guess Death Row heard you. He goes back inside Starbucks and grabs Icon's flag. One down, one more to go for Death Row.
Matt: And fans, if Icon gets Travis' flag, Death Row will have to FIGHT Icon for it in order to win.
Vanessa: I think Icon just spotted Death Row's flag....AND Travis' flag. Both of them are in the same store. Called "Rebel and Rock". Icon can win the match in one foul swoop.
Eric: But Death Row is hot on Icon's heels. Death Row isn't going down without a fight.
Matt: Death Row grabs Icon before he can get to the flags. Both of them are now fighting it out.
Vanessa: Icon just took down a pile of CDs and the shelf falls on Death Row. Row is pinned down beneath it.
Eric: Icon grabs both flags.
Vanessa: BUT remember. He's got to make it back to the ring in order to win. He's walking towards the ring. We're at the ten minute mark fans. Icon is busted open somehow, I think it may have been from the Victoria Secret incident. Icon better take it easy, he's going for the World Title in a little bit.
Matt: Icon almost to the ring. Travis Benjamin Lee is nowhere to be found. He's gone....our camera's cannot locate him fans.
Eric: Maybe he's in the Rebel and Rock store buying some Confederate stuff.
Vanessa: Death Row outta nowhere just clipped Icon's leg with Icon's OWN flag.
Matt: Icon is down.
Eric: Death Row now making his way to the ring. He's on the apron but Icon pulls him down.
Vanessa: There is a tussle on the floor between the two....Death Row has Icon and Travis' flags, he's up, he slides in the ring!!!
Chris Sratcher: Ladies and Gentlemen...your winner...Death Row!!
Matt: Great match up....wait a minute....Death Row has his own flag, and Travis'....NOT Icon's.
Eric: That means this isn't over. And Spratcher see's it. The bell is reRung. Icon rolls in the ring and Death Row is confused.....Icon WHACKS Row with Icon's flag. Icon grabs Death Rows and Travis' flag from the unconsciouess hands of Death Row.
Spratcher: Your winner.....and still champion.....Extreme Icon.
Matt: What a match. Heartbreaking miscue for Death Row.
Murdock: This, unlike the last match, was a littlemore exciting. We�re terribly sorry we weren�t able to show you this one.
Masterson: For once Matt�s right. This match went back and forth with a lot of close calls and a lot of saves. After battling relentlessly Nick and XC Lence came out on top taking one half of the tag titles from Mack after XC pins Mack. I�m anxious to see what�s going to happen when Kirkland returns.
Matt Murdock: Great Scott, folks! What an incredible night
we�ve had so far here at the Mall of America! We here at the CWF had high
expectations for this Pay Per View extravaganza, but we couldn�t have ever predicted
in our wildest imaginations a quarter of what we�ve seen here tonight! And we�re
far from over!�
Eric Masterson: You�re
absolutely right about that, Matt! This Pay Per View couldn�t have been more aptly
named because what we�ve seen here can only be described as Maximum Carnage! �
Matt Murdock: And the
following match up looks to be no different as we gear up for a mena�ge a trois
mannequin massacre as the Elite...�
Eric Masterson: Nick Sharpe
and Xander C. Lence.�
Matt Murdock: ...square off
against SCAR...�
Eric Masterson: Lee
Sharkstone and Lokust.�
Matt Murdock: ...and the
Hell Razors...�
Eric Masterson: Mack
McMichaels and Jimmy D.�
Matt Murdock: ...for one
half of the CWF tag team titles!!! �
Vanessa McLure: I am going
on record right now to say that I one hundred percent disagree with this match and how
unfair it is!�
Matt Murdock: Oh, and why�s
that, Vanessa?�
Vanessa McLure: Well isnt
it obvious?! This is a plot to destroy the Hell Razors! Kevin Kirkland was injured last
week during Danger Zone and therefore, he can�t compete! �
Matt Murdock: Yes, and...?�
Vanessa McLure: And?! And
if Kirkland cannot defend the his tag team title, then his partner should not be forced to
defend his! This one should be non-title all the way! It�s a complete screw job by
those...those....jackasses in the front office! They just want to really mess with the
Hell Razors! They want to divide the titles to try and weaken the single greatest faction
of wrestling talent the CWF has ever seen! Well, I�ll tell you this much! The Razors
are smarter than that! Despite having the odds stacked against them, they�ll find a
way to come out on top!! Just you wait and see!�
Matt Murdock: Only time
will tell, Vanessa. And it looks like the ring is almost set up for this match. As you can
see, there are somewhere between thirty and forty mannequins set up around ringside....�
Eric Masterson: But these
aren�t your ordinary, everyday mannequins, Matt!�
Matt Murdock: You got that
right, Eric! While these look like your typical, innocuous store front dummies, they are
something much, much worse!�
Eric Masterson: There worse
because a select portion of these have been wired with C-4 plastic explosives, rigged to
blow at any time!! This is a very dangerous, very risky confrontation, but everyone
involved knows the inherent risks. �
Matt Murdock: And the
hatred between these three teams knows no bounds. To hell with safety! Forget about
physical well being! They want to HURT each other and this is the way these six men have
CHOSEN to do so! �
Vanessa McLure: Chosen, my
firm but supple tush! MackMcMichaels and Jimmy D were forced into this match! I just hope,
for the sake of the CWF, that neither McMichaels nor Jimmy D get injured, or the CWF might
as well just close shop and go home. Afterall, no Hell Razors means no ratings!�
Matt Murdock: Somehow,
Vanessa, I think the CWF would manage....�
Vanessa McLure: Bah!!�
Eric Masterson: As you can
see, the CWF has cleared the area of spectators to ensure their safety. They�ll have
to watch the match from the Champi-O-tron at the other end of the mall. So without further
ado, lets go to Chris Spratcher in the ring, as he gets ready to make the introductions.�
Spratcher: Ladies and
gentlemen, it is now time for our semi-main event! The following is a special three way
tag team bout scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit and it is for one half
of the CWF Tag Team Championship Titles!! Introducing first, the challengers ...�
**COME
ON**
(The fans all explode as
Zack De la Rocha's voice signals the entrance of SCAR. �Wake Up� by Rage against
the Machine (The SCAR mix) bursts out of the speakers. The cheer climaxes as two rebels
appear on the stage.) �
Spratcher: Weighing in a
total combined weight of 554 pounds haling respectively from Manchester, England and Rio
De Janeiro, Brazil, they are Lee �The Shark� Sharkstone and the man known only
as Lokust! They are SCAAAAAAAAAAAAR! �
(Both SCAR members stand
side by side and pause a moment whilst being bathed in blue, red and green flashing
lights. Sharkstone and Lokust stroll down the isle waeving their way through the
mannequins as the fans� chants of �SCAR� and �REB-EL� echo
throughout the mall. Lokust hops onto the apron and flips over the ropes. Sharkstone
follows closely yet after a moment of thought, steps over the ropes rather than attempts a
jump. After mounting various turnbuckles in celebration, they stand in the dead center of
the ring. Suddenly they raise a right fist each in time to a hellacious explosion of pyro
from all ring posts.)�
Spratcher: And now making
their way to the ring...�
Matt Murdock: Oh my stars
and garters!!!! Out of nowhere comes Mack McMichaels and Jimmy D! They blind side both
members of SCAR as Chris Spratcher heads for higher ground!�
Vanessa McLure: Geez, with
all the twinkies I see Chris downing backstage, I would�ve never figured he could
move that fast!�
Matt Murdock: Oh come on,
Vanessa,! What did Chris ever do to you to deserve those remar....�
Vanessa McLure: Can it,
Murdock! Cuz here comes the �self proclaimed� Elite of teh CWF as that loudmouth
Nick Sharpe and Xander Lence charge the ring! �
Matt Murdock: And there�s
the bell. Not even ten seconds into this match up and this one is well into high gear!
Great Caesar�s Ghost! It�s absolute chaos in that ring! I can�t even call
the action! Fists are flying and skulls are being rattled!!!�
Eric Masterson: It�s
maximum carnage, Matt! MAXIMUM CARNAGE!!!�
(Vanessa just stares at
Eric, having trouble fathoming just how corny he sounded shilling like that.)�
vml (sarcastically): Uh,
yeah, Eric. Good call there.�
Matt Murdock: Well it looks
as if things are finally starting to shape up inside the squared circle! The Elite and
SCAR have each decided to team up on one member of the Hell Razors. �
Vanessa McLure: Sure!
Divide and conquer! It just goes to show you what kind of cowards SCAR and the Elite are!
They know they can�t beat the Hell Razors one on one so they double team! This is so
totally unfair!!�
Matt Murdock: Actually,
Vanessa, this match is no holds barred! Anything and everything is fair!! Sharpe and Lence
are really putting the boots to Mack McMichaels as Sharkstone and Lokust are forcing Jimmy
D in the corner! �
Eric Masterson: Lokust
grabs a hold of Jimmy D�s shirt collar and rips it right down the center! �
Vanessa McLure: So SCAR are
cowards AND disrespectful of other people�s property! Vandalous chickens! Thats what
they are! �
Eric Masterson:
Nice...uh...analogy....I think. OH!!! Now the Shark lays in with a big chop!�
Fans (at the other end of
the mall): Woooooo!�
Matt Murdock: Now Lokust
with a chop of his own!�
Fans: Woooo!�
Eric Masterson: Now both
men are taking turns paint brushing Jimmy D! It�s like they�re trying to out do
each other!! Good grief! Look at how red Jimmy�s chest is getting! That�s gotta
hurt!�
Matt Murdock: If it hurts,
then ...�
Vanessa McLure: DON�T
SAY IT!!! That�s my line, Murdock! And it�s never used when the Hell Razors are
on the receiving end! Got it?�
mmd (after a brief pause):
IT�S GOOOOOOOOOOD!!�
Vanessa McLure: Why
you....you....you....�
Eric Masterson: Lence and
Shapre now haul McMichaels to his feet. They each throw one arm around the Tag Team
Champion�s head, grabs the tights and.....DOUBLE TEAM VERTICAL SUPLEX!!! �
Vanessa McLure: Oh no! Mack
looks hurt! He�s clutching his lower back writhing in pain. Get out of there, Mack!�
Eric Masterson: It looks
like McMicheals heard you Vanessa because now Mack has bailed out of the ring and is
making his way through the mannequins!�
Matt Murdock: I�d
really have to question as to whether that�s such a good idea. After all, those
dummies are rigged to blow and who knows whether or not one good jolt would set them off!�
Eric Masterson: I dunno,
Matt. I think I�d rather risk the wrath of the mannequins than suffer any more of
that brutal double teaming at the hands of Sharpe and Lence!�
Matt Murdock: But I don�t
think the Elite�ll let Mack get away quite that easily, Eric. Take a look! Nick and
Xander are exiting the ring as well! Sharpe gives chase but Xander gets distracted by
Lokust calling out his name.
Eric Masterson: Lence turns
around to find Lokust perched on the top turnbuckle. He leaps!!!�
Matt Murdock: OH MY SWEET
AUNT PETUNIA!!! A top rope hurricanrana catches Xander and sends him bowling into the
dummies!! Oh, but it looks like that maneuver hurt Lokust as much as Lence! It looked as
if Lokust smacked his head off the concrete mall floor on the follow through. Both men are
down and out!�
Vanessa McLure: GOOD! It
serves those two right for teaming up against the best stable of talent the wrestling
world has ever seen! �
Matt Murdock: Back inside
the ring, Jimmy D has fought his way out of the corner. He and Sharkstone tie up! The
Shark forces D into the corner. Jimmy looks for the clean break, and it looks like The
Shark is going to give him one. Again, the collar and elbow tie up. Jimmy D takes the
shortcut with a quick kick to the midsection. Which he follows up with devastating DDT!
Boy, that looks like it hurts!�
Vanessa McLure: Does it
hurt? Then it�s good! Jimmy appears to be going for the quick win...lateral press. It�s
over! It�s over!!�
Eric Masterson: What match
are you watching, Vanessa?! The Shark is out before the ref even got his hand down for the
one count. You�re not going to beat this kid with that kind of lazy pin. Jimmy D
lifts up Sharkstone by the hair and follows it up with a thumb to the eye!! By Odin�s
Beard, Jimmy D is just using every dirty trick in the book!�
Vanessa McLure: Dirty
tricks?! There are NO dirty tricks in this match! Everything�s fair game! So thumb
away, Jimmy! And don�t forget to gouge and choke! Gouge and choke!!�
Matt Murdock: Jimmy D uses
The Shark�s temporary blindness to move in behind him. He lifts him up and atomic
drop! Boshi Mio! That move sent chills up MY spine!! Sharkstone�s turning to face
Jimmy now, trying to shake out the cobwebs. D throws a right hook!�
Eric Masterson: Blocked by
the Shark! He fires off a right of his own! Another right! And another! �
Vanessa McLure: Open up
that hand!! Closed fists are illegal!! �
Matt Murdock: You just said
NOTHING�s illegal! What about �gouge and choke?��
Vanessa McLure: Gouging and
choking are one thing, but closed fists are just plain wrong!�
Eric Masterson: What kind
of logic is....oh, nevermind!!! Sharkstone demonstrates his strength and speed by just hip
tossing Jimmy D to the mat. Great move! He follows it up with a beautiful arm bar. D is
screaming in pain. Sharkstone must have that thing on tight.�
Eric Masterson: The Shark
is pulling Jimmy to his feet now. Flying head scissors takedown!! McMichaels is on the mat
looking up at the stars! What a great move! Sharkstone with the cover. One...two...�
Matt Murdock: Nope, D�s
out after two. This match is far from over. The Shark lifts Jimmy D and tosses him to the
ropes. Leapfrog by Sharkstone on the way back, now. Jimmy D rebounds off the other ropes.
Great scott!!! Clothesline by Sharkstone!! What a lariat! He damn near could�ve taken
Jimmy�s head clean off his shoulders!!�
Eric Masterson: Meanwhile,
Sharpe has chased the Tag Team Champion deeper into the mall. McMichaels makes his way
into the Museum Company. He grabs hold of a rack of greeting cards and just clobbers
Sharpe as he crosses the threshold of the store! Greeting cards are everywhere! That blow
staggered the challenger. Mack swings that rack again, but this time Sharpe ducks! A big
boot to the midsection stuns the champ. Sharpe now with an Irish whip sends McMichaels
into the back of the store! OH NO!!!�
Matt Murdock: Mack careens
right into that display of stained glass in the rear of the store! What a mess! But Nick
�I�m not Trex� Sharpe is not going to let up! He grabs hold of a miniature
statuette of the Thinker and charges McMichaels! �
Eric Masterson: It�s
CLOBBERIN� time!! He brings that statue down right over the skull of McMichaels with
a sickening , hollow thud. Good gravy! That sound actually turned my stomach. And
McMichaels looks like he�s out on his feet. And look at him! That stain glass ripped
him to shreds! �
Vanessa McLure: Alright,
this has gone far enough! Stop this right now! �
Matt Murdock: NO! McMichael�s
nails Sharpe with a lip pursing low blow! �
Vanessa McLure: On second
thought, don�t stop it! This is where McMichaels takes control of this contest! �
Matt Murdock: Somehow, I
doubt that. McMichaels did that out of pure instinct because he collapses right to the
floor after he connected! �
Vanessa McLure: Well, let
me tell you, Matt, McMickaels is more intelligent running on pure instinct than Nick
Sharpe is on his best day! Look! Look at Mack! Even knocked silly, he�s smart enough
to try and crawl out of that store!�
Eric Masterson: But look!
Back at ringside, Xander Lence is back to his feet! Lokust, however, is dazed and
confused! Look at that lump forming on the back of Lokust�s head! It looks like a
softball! Lence now grabs one of those mannequins. Oh this could be bad. No one knows
which one of those dummies is packed with C-4! And no one knows how volatile that
plastique is! �
Vanessa McLure: Good! Let
those two idiots blow each other up! The gene pool�ll be that much cleaner.�
Eric Masterson: He lifts it
up over Lokust�s head! No. No! NOOOOO!�
Matt Murdock: Nothing! Oh
thank goodness! The mannequin just breaks apart over Lokust�s back. Explosive or not,
that dummy served it�s purpose because Lokust is looking hurt! XC Lence hauls Lokust
to a vertical base. �
Eric Masterson: Lence now
drags the Lokust past the mannequins and down some side corridor! There�s people in
there! They�re...they�re heading toward the rest rooms!!! Lence now with an
Irish whip sends Lokust into�AND THROUGH�.the ladies room door! That looked like
it hurt. �
Vanessa McLure: Did it
hurt, Eric? Then it�s most certainly good! Look at the women scatter! Don�t
these two morons have any shame?!�
Matt Murdock: Xander�s
ripping that feminine hygiene product dispenser off the wall and brings it crashing down
over Lokust�s back �once �twice �.OH! On the third swing, it breaks
wide open! Tampons are everywhere! XC Lence gets Lokust back up on shakey legs. He takes
him head first into the full length mirror! That�s seven years bad luck! �
Eric Masterson: For who? �
Vanessa McLure: Does it
matter? They both desrve all the bad luck they get!�
Matt Murdock: Lokust seems
to be lacerated! Lence again with the Irish whip. NO! Reversal by Lokust sends Xander into
the stall divider. The impact rips it right from it�s mooring! Lokust throws the wall
aside and stuffs XC Lence�s head in the toilet. Lokust hits that plunger and Lence
gets the proverbial *ahem * �swirlie!� Lokust throws him down and goes for the
lateral press. One�Two�. �
Eric Masterson: Kickout!
Lokust sits up to regain his breath and Lence crawls back into the hallway. Lokust is
mighty slow to follow. OUCH! Lence out of nowhere clangs a fire extinguisher off Lokust�s
head! Geez, if he didn�t have a concussion before, he sure as heck has one now! Now
he opens up and empties the extinguisher in Lokust�s face!�
Vanessa McLure: This is
absolute mayhem! I have no idea how to call this one.�
Matt Murdock: How about
�straight down the middle?��
Vanessa McLure: Your lousy
attempt at humor isn�t even worth my time. �
Matt Murdock: back inside
the ring, Jimmy D forces the Shark into the corner and sends him across the ring with an
Irish whip.�
Eric Masterson: OH!
Sharkstone hit those turnbuckles hard! And Jimmy D follows it up with a great clothesline!
If Jimmy D would�ve hit him any harder, Sharkstone would�ve needed a new
trachea!�
Matt Murdock: The Shark�s
not looking his best this evening here in the Mall of America as Jimmy D assists
Sharkstone to his feet. He hoists Sharkstone up and a punishing shoulder breaker elicits
quite a deal of chagrin from the SCAR member.�
Eric Masterson: Again, D
lifts Lee to his feet but the Shark catches Jimmy D with an inside cradle!! One...two...�
Vanessa McLure: Kickout!
That lousy Sharkstone�s gonna need more than a small package to take out Jimmy D!�
Matt Murdock: Sharkstone
takes advantage now and unloads with a big headbutt!�
Eric Masterson: That�ll
rattle every filling in your head! The Shark scoops up the stunned Hell Razor and executes
a textbook sidewalk slam! He follows it up a tremendous back breaker, really working that
lower back of Jimmy D.�
Matt Murdock: Now that�s
the sign of a thinking man�s wrestler: pick a part on your opponent and work it for
all it�s worth! �
Vanessa McLure: Thinking
man�s wrestler? How can Sharkstone think with only one brain cell in that oversized
skull of his?!�
Eric Masterson: He lifts
Jimmy D up��
Vanessa McLure: But the
Hell razor comes out of nowhere with a devastating heart punch. With his second wind now,
Jimmy D hits with a powerful bulldog. He lift the Shark up and sends him into the corner
with another Irish whip. He gives the signal indicating he�s setting up for the Bong
Hit and he charges in, shoulder first!�
Matt Murdock: But nobody�s
home!! Sharkstone got out of the way just in time! And Jimmy D hits that post, shoulder
first! That�s got to hurt!�
Eric Masterson: And now
look! Mack McMichaels and Nick Sharpe have made their way into the food court! But...but
we didn�t clear that area of fans!�
Matt Murdock: Well then, it
appear that the patrons are in for free ringside seats! �
Vanessa McLure: Free?!
Obviously you�ve never eaten there! The prices are outrageous! �
Matt Murdock: Point taken!
And now Sharpe lifts up a very bloody and very lacerated Tag Team Champion and slams his
head right off a table!! Wings and curly fries scatter everywhere! And look at these
fans!! They�re loving every minute of this! Sharpe now grabbing something off the
table�a bottle of some sort� �
Eric Masterson: Tobasco
sauce!!! It�s �el Burno Tongo!� He pouring it all over McMichaels�s
wounds!!! Oh my!! Listen to the Hell Razor howl. �
Matt Murdock: I don�t
care how tough you are! THAT HURTS!! Now Sharpe is telling everyone to back away as
McMichaels staggers around clutching his face and back, screaming in pain. He clears off
the table and centers it. He spins Mack around�sets him up�vertical suplex�.THROUGH
THE TABLE!!! He signals for the Death Valley Driver. AND HE NAILS IT!!!! �
Eric Masterson: This is
it!! It�s over!!! One�two�.THRE �
Vanessa McLure: NO!! The
champ got his shoulder up! HA! That�s why McMichaels is gonna walk out this one with
the gold strapped frimly about his waist.�
Eric Masterson: Where did
he muster that from!? And Sharpe is furious!! He lifts McMichaels up with a handful of
hair and leads him over to one of the food stands�. �
Matt Murdock: NO!!
McMichaels grabs a nearby pitcher of beer and brings it down over the head of Sharpe!
McMichaels unleashing with a series of lefts and rights! Atomic drop! Headbutt!! And now
McMichaels with an Irish whip sends Sharpe up and over the bar! �
Eric Masterson: Mack now
puts his head under the tap and loads up with�what is that? Budwiser? �
Vanessa McLure: No. Molsen
Golden! Obviously drinking to kill the pain. �
Matt Murdock: I don�t
think so. He has a mouthful and snatches a lighter from a patron�.uh oh! I see where
this is going! �
Eric Masterson: Sharpe
staggers up onto very shaky legs�..OH NO!! �
Matt Murdock: FIREBALL!!!
Right in the kisser of Sharpe!! He�s thrashing about in serious pain!! And Mack
follows up with a big clothesline!! That sends Sharpe back first�ONTO THE GRILL!!!
Holy Cow!!! �
Eric Masterson: Sharpe
jumps off and he gets greeted with a frying pan right across the bridge of the nose!!�
Matt Murdock: Back in the
ring, Jimmy D is all over the Shark! D�s applying a tight text book headlock. Look at
Jimmy, every confident, with that arrogant smirk on his face. �
Vanessa McLure: That, Matt,
is the attitude of a true champion! �
Matt Murdock: But Jimmy D
isn�t a champion! He�s just filling in for Kevin Kirkland! Besides, how can
arrogance be considered a championship quality? In my experience, arrogance has always
been the downfall of many otherwise talented athletes. And just listen to that crowd boo!
Now a chant of �SHARK-STONE!� goes out. �
Eric Masterson: The Shark
is starting to power out! Jimmy�s in a state of disbelief! He�s shaking his head
and screaming, �No!� Sharkstone�s almost out�almost�.NO! Jimmy D
with a hand-full of hair gets Sharkstone back on the mat. Jimmy D�s tapping his own
temple to illustrate his intelligence. That�s not intelligence! That�s
out-and-out cheating! �
Vanessa McLure: What in
heaven�s name are you talking about? I didn�t see any �pull of the hair.�
A gifted young athlete such as Jimmy D would never need to resort to such unscrupulous
actions!�
Matt Murdock: Wha?�What
match are watching?!�
Vanessa McLure: The one
which you�re not calling due to your nitpicking about my vision! Like your one to
talk about vision!�
Matt Murdock: What? Oh,
nevermind! Now Jimmy D unleashes a series of quick forearms. He picks Sharkstone up. �
Vanessa McLure: Wonderful!
Russian leg sweep by the Dastardly D. Jimmy D follows up with a quick fireman�s
carry. Now a gut buster. �
Matt Murdock: Jimmy D�s
in full control now! He�s grinning and shrugging his shoulders as he struts around
the ring. He�s wasting valuable time. Sharkstone takes advantage of the situation and
hits Jimmy D with a big sidewalk slam! �
Eric Masterson: And Jimmy D goes
back to favoring his back. Sharkstone hoists Jimmy D back up and delivers a punishing
gorilla press! Sharkstone gets Jimmy D up and points to the turnbuckle. Irish whip! No!
Jimmy D reverses it!
�
Matt Murdock: Sharkstone
slumps down in the corner and Jimmy D just smirks!�
Eric Masterson: Back to
McMichaels ans Sharpe who have now stumbled into the amusement park area of the mall! Now
look at this! Mack McMichaels is beginning to climb the lattice of the roller coaster! He�s
making his way to the highest peak of that coaster! Is he insane?!�
Matt Murdock: Well, if he
is, then so is Nick Sharpe because he�s following him!! �
Eric Masterson: It�s a
good thing the rides were shut down before this Pay Per View started! Now McMichaels is
finally up on the tracks. Sharpe is hot on his heels!�
Matt Murdock: But
McMichaels begins stomping away before Sharpe could even get all the way up on the tracks.
Mack now grabs Nick by the beard and assists him all the way up to a vertical base.
McMichaels sets him up for a suplex � �
Eric Masterson: No! Sharpe
blocks! McMichaels tries it again! And another block! And this time its Sharpe who gets
Mack up�.vertical suplex onto the tracks! Sharpe�s up as McMichaeels favors his
lower back. He lifts the Hell Razor up and�big back drop! Sharpe now setting Mack up
for a piledriver�NO! �
Matt Murdock: Reversal by
Mack! He flips Sharpe over and he hits those coaster tracks flush! Now Mack McMichaels
stomps away on Nick Sharpe. Mack gets Sharpe up and DDT!! I�m actually becoming
nauseated by the amount of blood pouring forth from McMichaels. Mack goes to scoop up Nick�
�
Eric Masterson: But Sharpe
connects with a low blow! And McMichaels crumples to his knees. Sharpe lifts Mack back to
his feet and positions him on the edge of the tracks. He�s signaling for a powerbomb!
Oh God! He�s gonna powerbomb McMichaels off of the top of that coaster! Somebody stop
this!!�
Vanessa McLure: But wait!
Behind Sharpe! it�s...it�s....�
Matt Murdock: SAM
WARHAMMER!!! Oh no! I thought the Hell Razor�s took him out earlier this evening!
That�s why he lost his match to Steve Johnson tonight!! He must be there to exact
revenge on McMichaels!�
Eric Masterson: He spins
Nich Sharpe around! Warhammer must want to finish off Mack himself!�
Vanessa McLure: NO!!
Warhammer just clobbers Sharpe upside his head with his war hammer! Sharpe is busted wide
open and he stumbles towards the edge of the tracks! �
Matt Murdock: What is
Warhammer doing?! No. No! NO! He just pushed Sharpe off!!! NOOOOO!�
erm: SHARPE HAS FALLEN OFF
THE COASTER! Oh dear God, NO! He�s fallen right down onto the canopy of the carousel
below! From this camera angle I can�t see if Nick is okay or not!! Great Scott!
Warhammer�s sadistic! He�s demented! And just look at him smile!! He may have
just killed Nick Sharpe! And now McMichaels gets to his feet!�
Matt Murdock: He gets right
into Warhammer�s face! He wasn�t happy about Warhammer interfering last week. So
I can bethe�s furious this week! McMichaels stares a hole through Warhammer...and
SMILES?!�
Vanessa McLure: Warhammer
and McMichaels shake hands! I don�t believe it! It was a set-up!! A complete set-up!!
The Hell Razors are pure geniuses! Not only does this put the odds in their favor, but
they may have just ended the career of one Nick Sharpe!!�
Matt Murdock: You say that
as if it�s a good thing!�
Vanessa McLure: It isn�t?!�
Eric Masterson: There�s
no time for bickering, you two! Take a look at this! X.C.Lence and Lokust have worked
their way back into the mannequins! The two are exchanging rights and lefts but it�s
Lokust who comes out on top. He scoops Lence up and slams him down onto the concrete. It�s
Lokust now who grabs hold of a mannequin and he smashes it down over the exposed rib cage
of Lence! �
Matt Murdock: No explosion,
thank goodness! Lokust now rips a leg off that dummy and jams the heel of it right into
the throat of Xander Lence! He lifts Lence to his feet with a hand full of hair. This is
it! Lokust is signaling for his finisher! He sets Lence up....�
Vanessa McLure: But look!
Jimmy D is on the top turnbuckle while Sharkstone is out on the mat... �
Matt Murdock: Lokust has
Lance up...�
Eric Masterson: Jimmy D
leaps....�
Matt Murdock: He just plows
into Lokust and Lence!�
Eric Masterson: All three
go sailing into the sea of mannequins!!!�
(Suddenly all the wired
mannequins erupt in a huge fireball, filling the mall with an earth shaking boom! Store
windows shatter. The roller coaster rocks. The fans gasp in fear.) �
Matt Murdock: Good God
almighty! The mannequins exploded! They all blew up! And Jimmy D, Xander Calvin Lence, and
Lokust were right in the heart of the blast! But look! The smoke�s clearing! �
Eric Masterson: LOOK! LOOK!
Lence is on top of both Lokust and D! All three men look to be unconscious...�
Matt Murdock: And badly
burned! Good gravy was this a bad idea! But the ref is making the count! One!�
Eric Masterson: Two!�
Matt Murdock: THREE!! This
one is over! It�s over! ANd the team of Nick Sharpe and XL Lence have won!!�