I try to be someone worth loving
But my best efforts fall short
He sees me as a mere convenience
Someone to give him support
But not someone to give his heart to
My soul is broken from the past, the present
And the absence of a future
Still I keep loving and hoping
Ignoring what life has shown me
Not everyone gets to be loved
And I�m so tired of trying
Yet so scared of being without him
I am holding on to the thread of hope
That he�ll love me back
But the thread is ready to snap
And I will plunge once more-
Broken again
Just the two of us
And again I�m alone,
Lying next to you
Your mind is elsewhere
Never with me
It seems I just can�t
Keep your attention
Unless I�m doing something
For you
Why am I here
And why can�t I leave
Is loving you
That much a part of me
It�s time to break away
To be with someone
Who doesn�t make me feel
Alone
With someone
Who appreciates me
Who loves me in return
Who I can trust
To be faithful
It�s time to say goodbye
If only I can find the words
Or the strength to do it
Or maybe I�m sorry
You don�t love me
It may be the same thing
If I was numb inside
This could work
I want to believe
That you really do love me
And you�re afraid to admit it
Or that you can�t love
Anyone at all
I know it�s selfish of me
But the truth is too painful
It eats away at me
Because deep down I know
You are capable of love
There is just something
Wrong with me
And you said goodbye
I never knew
That my heart could die
You used my love
To make yourself whole
And left me empty
With nowhere to go
Lost in the darkness
Thought you were the light
But it was merely a flash
In my lonely life
You put up a wall
Thought I had the tools
But it was stronger
Than I ever knew
I wanted to make you happy
I tried to make it right
But I am weary
Of this never ending fight
Leave if you need to
I won�t beg you to stay
But realize you�re taking
The best of me away
For W. C. W.
I�m sorry I could not make you happy
And that I tried so hard or not hard enough
I�m sorry I tricked myself into believing
And that I couldn�t trick you too
I�m sorry I saw the truth of the matter
And that I couldn�t close my eyes
I�m sorry I gave you everything I am
And that I thought nothing more was needed
I�m sorry I need my love to be reciprocated
And that I don�t have the strength for less
I�m sorry I loved you so much it hurt
And that I had to leave you because of it
I want to know you
To know everything
The darkness
The light
Just so I can please you
I want to touch you
To touch you everywhere
In ecstasy
In tenderness
Just to feel your warmth
I want to love you
To love you unconditionally
No games
No deceptions
Just me loving you
I speak to my fellow queens
Who all wonder the same thing
Is true love real
Or is it a female fairytale?
I was ready to settle for less
And become a bitter mess.
But tonight I was relieved
Of my despondency.
Because I heard a real man
Speak of adoration
Love had touched him
And moved him to action
More than mere words
He gave her the world
Yet I remain with a boy
Who treats my heart as a toy
Taking my soul bit by bit
Replacing it with a love
That is counterfeit
By staying with him
I have blocked the blessing
Of a love that is real-
My very own fairytale
So I say goodbye to this jester
And wait for a king
Worthy of my loving
Let me slide my tongue
Across your lips
And into your mouth
Tongue touching tongue
Moving softly, slowly
Pulling away
Just to touch again
Let me press my bare breasts
To your firm chest
Every ripple of your body
Against my soft skin
As our bodies melt together
In rhythmic bliss
Let me stroke your hair
And slowly move my hands
Down your neck
And run my nails across your back
As your muscles tense and relax
To my eager caress
Let me come to you
In the night
In the morning
In the middle of the day
When we are alone
In a dimly lit room
Or lost in a crowd
Of envious onlookers
Let me please you
In all the ways you imagine
Because the lust in your eyes
Moves me to ecstasy
And I lose my breath
At the very thought
Of you wanting me
The way I want you
You can�t love me?
Well isn�t that lovely?
Perhaps you could have given me
The common courtesy
Of mentioning your apathy
Before I fell in love with you
And your empty words
You still love her?
Well isn�t that tender?
Maybe you think I�ll feel better
Since you say I�m your only lover
Well you can send it in a letter
Because I don�t need your sympathy
Or your sterile mind.
Something is missing
though I�m not sure what.
It could be that he doesn�t
really hold me.
Or is it that he doesn�t
adore me.
Or perhaps it�s more than that.
It�s said that love takes time
to evolve and grow.
But maybe what is missing
is the possibility it will.
�Damn, Shorty!�
Yes, I suppose that�s me,
Certainly by the literal meaning
And sometimes colloquially as well.
�Damn, Thickness!�
That can be me too,
Depending on which direction
You happen to be coming from.
�Damn, Bitch!�
What? Who are you speaking to?
Certainly not me
Since I am so obviously a lady
I wouldn�t call you a jackass
As a term of endearment
So explain to me how
Comparing a lady of my caliber
To a female dog
Equates to a turn on
Make no mistake
When I compare you
To a male donkey
I am not trying to flirt
Although it is kind of you
To show me the caliber of boy
I would be dealing with
If I were to hang around you
So much to choose from
But not every little thing
Will satisfy my appetite
My meal must be super-sized
And I avoid cold, limp fries
Yes, I know I am a small woman
But my hunger is large
And I can handle the load
This may be a fast food joint
But my standards are high
And I only want Grade A meat
Nothing less will do
I may be starving
But I will only indulge myself
With the very best
So be sure to fill my order
Completely and correctly
Because I will check thoroughly
Before I devour my meal
Love brought us together
And life pushed us apart.
Whether lovers, friends or strangers
Our bond remained.
There is something
Extraordinary between us.
We have shared tears
Of great pain
And even greater pleasure.
Our love has given us
A world of emotion
That most will never know.
Near or far, you are always with me-
A blessing in my life.