He was the Worst Date Ever

    "I hope he's cute," I said to my friend as I got ready for our double date.
     "Don't worry," she said reassuringly. "Melvin is Michael's cousin, and you know how fine Mike is."
     "Ding-dong," clanged the doorbell, inviting me to see who was on the other side. I opened the door, and my heart was beating as fast as the speed of light. It was only Mike.
     "Mel's waiting for you outside," he said to me with a grin a mile wide. I took a deep breath and ventured into the unknown.
     I took one look at Melvin and nearly fainted. The guy was as fat as an elephant, and he smelled like one too. His face was even more hideous than his body. His eyes were sunken in, hidden by ripples of fat; his nose was the size of an apple and almost as red; his gnared teeth were greener than grass, and he had more blemishes than someone with the chicken pox.
     "Helloo schweet thang!" he called to me with a voice like a drunken man. I could smell his breath all the way from where I was standing, and the disgusting, zoo like aroma made me jump back faster than the blink of an eye. I turned to my friend and gave her the look of death through the window, but she didn't notice since she was trying desperately not to look in Melvin's general direction. "Come here and give me schome schugar!" crooned Melvin.
     "Hell no!" I screamed so loud that I was sure everyone in China could hear me, and I ran back inside faster than a speeding bullet. I slammed the door with a loud BANG and locked it up tight.
      "If I ever see Melvin again, it'll be too soon!" I screamed for all to hear. "It'll be waaaay too soon!"

The End