Guy Trouble

�A-Z Rent-A-Man, How may I help you?�
�I need the perfect guy!�
�OK, we�ll come through.�
Every guy they sent was delivered promptly. I liked the fact that they were quick, but each guy that they sent had some flaw that made me sick.
Alexander was a hick. He listened to that twangy country music all the time, and he wore wranglers that were shocking pink.
Bobby had this putrid stink. He said he showered once a week, and he was sweating like a pig.
Cory was big. He must have weighed over 700 pounds, and he was the fattest guy I had ever seen.
Darren was mean. He made fun of old people, and he had this slingshot that he used to shoot a rock at a bird.
Eddie was a nerd. He wore thick glasses, and he always had his nose in his textbooks.
Frederick was obsessed with his looks. He used more hair care products than me, and he looked at himself in the mirror all day.
Gary was gay. He talked with a lisp, and he looked at other guys
Henry told lies. He lived in a shack but said he was rich.
Isaac had this perpetual itch. He scratched himself all over constantly; including you don�t want to know where.
Jose had too much hair. Black hair was covering his entire body, and the hair on his head was down to the floor.
Kyle was a bore. His voice was monotonous, and he made me want to fall asleep.
Louis sounded like a sheep. It must have been a birth defect or something that made him bleat.
Matthew had no feet. All he had below his ankles were deformed and mangled stumps.
Nathan had the mumps. His face was red and bumpy, and he looked really ill.
Oswald�s voice was high and shrill. He sounded just like a little girl, and that was very scary.
Peter was dressed up like a fairy. He wore a dress of pink and blue with lace and many frills.
Quincy took too many pills. He took almost 100 and then passed out from all those drugs.
Reggie ate bugs. He picked them off the bushes, and he popped them in his mouth.
Steven came from the South. He was just fine until he told me that he had a crush on his cousin.
Tim had gross zits, a dozen dozen. 144 large gushers were all over his face.
Umang was a disgrace to the whole Indian race. He went against his beliefs and did things that he should not.
Vince was hot. Literally. He turned on the air in the car so high that it was freezing cold.
Wilbur was old. He was fifty, a wrinkled prune, and he kept telling me to eat my fruits and veggies.
Xavier had a major wedgie. He was hunched over with his underwear pulled up over his head.
Yancy was dead. He rang the doorbell, fell to the ground, and little black worms came and ate his brain.
Zack was insane. He saw little blue men, and he babbled incoherently which made me nervous.
I�m through with this freakin� dating service!