|
Here you will find a list of quotes I found interesting, poignant, or just plain funny. ^^ "Those who give up a little freedom for safety deserve neither safety nor freedom."--Benjamin Franklin "Razors pain you; "Candy "I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." --A. Whitney Brown "It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."--Emiliano Zapata Dib: Gaz, there's an alien in the house! "One more drink and I'd be under the host." --Dorothy Parker "Nothing is to be gained from floundering about at random." --Dahlia Gillespie, "Silent Hill" "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." --Mark Twain "Suppose you were an idiot....And suppose you were a member of Congress....But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain "The first one to kick the other in the junk wins!" --My mom, while we were watching the Jet Li movie "Fist of Legend." "You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." -- Ellen DeGeneres "In a mad world only the mad are sane." --Akira Kurosawa "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." --Bill Cosby "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions."--Seen on a t-shirt "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." --Zahphod Beeblebrox, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" "I was making rice krispy treats and I had no butter!! No butter!! I cried and cried, but no butter came!! Why??" --Nny's Die-Ary, "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" "Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil." --Emo Philips "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet." --Seen on a sign on my campus "There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." --The (4th) Doctor, "Doctor Who" �The man suing the fast-food companies for making him fat represents the common qualities of an American -- he's overweight, underinformed, and litigious.� --Lewis Black "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." --Tyler, "Fight Club' "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure." --Agent Smith, "The Matrix" "I can't believe this. I'm escaping a house full of assholes so I can live in a world where they're NOT in chains." --Tess, "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" "If I'd known I was going to die today, I wouldn't have done all that homework." --Tenchi, "Tenchi Muyo!" "Before that, I had a really good temp job. All I did was sit around all day, play "Doom", and eat bear claws. I wonder why they fired me." --Mike, "Mystery Science Theater 3000" "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams "...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said 'A truck!'" --Emo Philips "If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song." --Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts" "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die." --Mel Brooks "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." --Ernest Hemmingway "This town is full of monsters! How can you sit there and eat pizza?!" --James, "Silent Hill 2" "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." --Matt Groening "How do you prove that you exist? Maybe we don't exist..." --Vivi, "Final Fantasy IX" "And it's a girl.....maybe a pretty one... He did his best to ignore the thought, no point in getting his hopes up. For all he knew, she was ninety-eight, bald, and smoked cigars....." --The novelization of "Resident Evil: Code Veronica" "See this? This is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?" --Ash, "Army of Darkness" "People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night." --Homer Simpson "'We are the middle children of history, raised by television to believe that someday we'll be millionaires and movie stars and rock stars, but we won't. And we're just learning this fact," Tyler said. 'So don't fuck with us.'"--Chuck Palahuniuk, "Fight Club," p. 166 "You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism." --Mayor Quimby, "The Simpsons" "Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other." --Red Forman, "That 70s Show" "After three days without reading, talk becomes flavorless."--Chinese proverb | |||