Loneliness. The cold wake up call that you don’t have someone to love. You wake up and go to sleep alone. You hurt more because you miss things, because you had it and lost it all because of yourself. You miss the snuggles, the kisses, the hugs and you miss just being loved, just feeling special to someone even when you don’t think you are. Waking up at 5am in the morning just to read a txt message you got telling you that your special someone loves you. I sure as hell just miss having someone. I got to bed alone and wake up alone. I still go to bed with my mobile beside my head wishing and hoping that some one might send me one. The most scarey part atm is the fact that this is the longest time in 4 years I've been alone. The wake up call is can I love again? I have got so many questions I wish to ask my own feelings but can't because it hurts. I am realising that I don't think I can love again. I've hurt so much and now I just can't let go. Over it but still hanging by that one last thread. The last thread of hope. Hoping I will feel those feelings of butterflies I used to get when I was with someone, the feeling of being loved when I got a txt message. I just wish I could go to bed tonight and wake up tomorrow, feeling a different love than just that of my friends...