Ways to get kicked Out of Church

* Fart. Loudly. Blame it on the little blue-haired lady in front of you. Repeat often. *Make change from the collection plate. *Keep asking, "Where do the goats get sacrificed?" *Attend services in drag. *After every hymn, during that brief moment of silence, sing "Shave and a haircut, two bits!" *Come in on crutches. Halfway through service, stand up and shot "I'm healed!!" Fall down. *When the minister invites the congregation to pray, pull out a drum and start chanting. *Keep refering the Jesus as "God's bastard".