New years was yesterday. Tim mom & grandma had shampain & I had oreos.
But new years is dum. Like why should we care sum guy a long time ago sed this many days is what a year is? Then we make a big stink every time that time goes by again? WEIRD.
Xmas is weird too but I like it so whatever. Oh yeh about Xmas it was fun! I got some wrestling guys and a real replica belt!
Tim told me about this guy growcho Marks. He made movies about soup a looooong time ago. Tim sed he was famus for saying he was born at a very yung age. Tim laft but i didnt get it? every1s born at a yung age rite? Anywsy hes dead now, so who cares when he was born??
Tim told me about this dum dum called Sissy Fuss too. He was always lugging a big rock up a hill all the time. But he was so dum that he kept letting it role rite back down the darn hill! Then he was even dummer cuz this fool always runs back down to push it up all over again! WHAT??? Id just be like cool, i guess its down there now and move on with my life. STUPID.
Mom said were gonna be moving soon. Tim got a job in another town adn were gonna move with him. But I don't wanna. My frends are here. Scools gonna start again soon and im afraid to tell them. Wish me luck�.
So Im back in scool now. Im not sure how to tell my frends im moving, so i havent. Maybe theyll reed this site be4 i do and i wont have to. I sent the link but the counter hasent gone up so I guess they havent gotten around to it. If ur reeding this tho, hi guys!! hows the FUTURE???
Mom told me about when I was born. She was 17. I guess sum peeple think thats awfull yung but i wont be 17 for 4ever from now so whatever
My birth day is JULY 25 th 1992. she said i was born at midnite. [ Hey thats cumming up soon! only 5 munths!! ] she asked me what i wanted to do when i grow up. I said i dont no but it got me thinking, what do i wanna be when i gro up?
Grandma says my grandpa was a cop and mom says my dad does sumthing called scit-so-fren-ia. I dont think i waana do either of those things. Mom says i have a way with werds so maybe i cood be a riter? My english teecher Ms. Kribby says i need to werk on my spelling tho.
I tride to rite a story 1nce but i got bord haff-way threw riting it. Its like i have a good start & end but the middle is just 2 hard to figure out. How do reel riters do it?? I guess i just dont have the payshense 4 it. But if not that what shood i be?
Sumtimes i get reel scared that i wont figure it out soon enuff ya no? Like i no i shoodnt worry about it yet but sumtimes it feels like theres this not in my tummy when i think about it. I dunno maybe im just weird. Like new years.
i had this weird dream the other day where i was seeing myself being born, but like frum abuve? I asked mom about it but she laft and said, oh ur so creeaytive hunny, but i wish we cooda talked about it more cuz it kindaa freaked me out
Uugh and Mom shode Tim my old baby photos! He saw my grose baby but and evrything!!! Aaah i was soooo embareassed! Tims never gunna think im cool now. how cum moms ruin evrything??? At least it was in the house. Im sooper nervus shell sho up at scool sumday and sho my frends. I guess id be glad we were moving after that. Coodnt sho my face around there again.
Speaking of grose baby buts i was on this internet site that says what the #1 song was when u were born. I put in my birth day & it came back with � Baby Got Back � by Sir Mix-a-lot. thats the song thats all about big girl buts. girl buts r grose but its its a silly song so i kinda like that cause i like silly songs. I guess im even sorta proud its linked with me in that way. i wooda red more about it but mom had to use the fone so i had to stop using the internet for a wile
Speaking of grose butts again, we had are 1st sex ed class at school today. And boy was it G-R-O-S-E grose. Mr. Crane played this really old tape ware this old PE teacher tells these boys all about sex. I felt uncomfterble watching it and besides mom already told me all that. so i didnt need to see this creepy old dude telling a buncha kids all about their weeners. It was ockward and really just embareassing 4 evry1 in class.
i cant even imagine what it was like for the boys in the video whenever they made it. I wood be mortifide. but not these guys, oh no, they were way into it. they were asking questions and really trying to unnderstand what this sex thing was all about. Eewwwwww
What made it all even worst was its Valentimes day. Ms. Dumbald had us make these boxes out of construction paper so any1 who brout a card 4 u cood put it in there. Now i never use to care about any of that stuff [& i wood never say this to my friends ] but i didnt get any card in the box i made & it kinda hurt my feelings� sumtimes i worry peeple dont like me. that im not cool or smart or good looking like other kids & guess not getting a card in the box kinda just prooves thats true.
i wanna not care what evrybuddy thinks of me but its realy hard sumtimes. i pretend i dont care if they care but i reely do. is evryone like that? is it just me? Does evryone else go around with a knot in their tummy scared what sumone mite be thinking about them? its stupid i know and thats the worst part, knoing its stupid but having to go threw with the feeling bad anyway. I dunno� maybe its just me. If anyones actuly reeding this you prol;ly think im crazy.
my alarm is so loud! why do they make them be that loud???
Why do I half to go to school every day? When am I gonna need to know who fot in some war or these big words on the vocab flash cards that no one even uses?? Ive been werking on my spelling and I spel good now!! LEAF ME ALONE. Mom says someday ill be a riter so i must be doing something rite, rite?
I'm so sick of brushing my dumb teeth and coaming my dumb hair and taking a dumb shower and doing the dumb stuff evrybuddy says u gotta do.
Today my home ec teacher gave me a fake baby to take home and take care of.
The baby is creeeeepy. It doesn�t move or anything ya know? It just lays there and i gotta change its diper and stuff when it makes noises. i guess theres some computer thing in it that can tell when i forget about it. i guess thats what a real baby would do.
I dont even wanna do the dumb stuff for myself, but now i gotta do the dumb stuff for this faby?? noooo thanks
I don�t think I even wanna have a kid. Im not smart or strong or fast or handsom or good at anything, what would some kid gain by having me as a dad? I guess its a while be4 i have to worry about that.
Snow day in April! WHAT.
The wether is weird around here. but it was still a plesant surprise. I got to go out & make snow angels and slaid and play with my friends and not worry about school for a hole day. It was cool! And not just in temperture hahaha
I still havent told them we�re moving soon and no ones mentioned this website, so i guess i�m just talking to myself here. If youre reading this later, HI ME. How�s the FUTURE?? Howd the move go? Any new friends? Is the wether as weird over where you are now?
Anywayss, summer is coming up and the school says i gotta go to summer school, wich is super lame. Ive bee n working on my spelling, but i guess it still needs some work.
All this to say, I might not be able to update for a while
I put a ball of snow in the back of the freezer to give mom for mothers day.
Summer school was fine. It was boring and I didn�t think I learned much, but Ms. Kribby says she thinks my spelling is a lot better now. Looking at the stuff I wrote on this website this year i guess i see what she means.
Have you ever read that book Flowers for Algernon? Its where this dumb guy gets smarter cause of some sience thing and than dumber again cause the sience thing stops working.
Ms. Kribby had us read it over the summer�. kinda mean of her now that i think about it having dumb kids read a book about being dumb. Anyway looking back over this site was like reading that. I only hope i dont get dumb again like the guy from the book did.
Fathers day was a few days ago. Mom gave me a tie to give to Tim as a present. He seemed excited to get it but I could tell he was just pretending.
He�s not my real dad but I don�t really remember my real dad so i guess he�s as close as I have. Mom has had other guys around before Tim though so im not sure if hell stick around or not. Hes okay though he takes me places and we get ice cream sometimes
This one guy before him was mean though. I had a birthday once where he was all mad for no reason. He was saying stuff like mom wasnt preparing me for the real world or whatever. It was dumb. Im glad hes not around anymore.
Speaking of that my birthday is next month!
It's my birthday, but I don't really feel like celebrating. It�s hitting me more and more that we�ll be moving away soon and that�s lame and I don�t like to think about it. It�s not easy for me to make friends. I�m not even sure how I got the ones I have now and I don�t know how to find new friends when we move. I guess I�ve said all this already on here before. But since i�m probably just talking to myself here anyway, I guess I�m just thinking out loud more or less.
They say less is more. But more is (literally) more, more or less.
Aging is weird. Like less then 10 years ago I wasn�t here and now I am. Just traveling down this unstoppable stream of time until I�m not. Whether I�m ready or not it just keeps on going. It�s kinda overwhelming to be onnest.
Sometimes I think about all the mile stones people say you gotta do in your life and how I have so much of them left to do. Graduate, get a job, buy a house, go to collage, kiss a girl [ the most unbelievable of all ]. I worry sometimes that I won�t get to any of it.
Of course theres time to get to all of it, but I�m scared that the very act of worrying about it will glue me in place and and I won�t be able to move forward and become what I�m supposed to be. I just don�t think I have it in me.
Is that normal? I don�t mean to be weird or anything, but I guess its just more of the thinking out loud thing, more or less. Sorry.
It�s my birthday though. I should go have some cake. I hope I got the batmobile I asked for.
It's MOVING DAY and I'm still scared. But weirdly excited? Like going off into the unknown feels dangerous, but in a good way? I don�t know. Maybe I�m just so scared that its coming all the way back around in my brain and seeming like fun.
TIm and mom packed up a humungous U-Haul truck with all our stuff. I helped a little, but a lot of the boxes were too heavy for me. I mostly just watched from the porch and wrote in my composition book.
Oh yeah! I got a composition book for my birthday. I was kinda confused at first. Like, �why did you get this mom? What happened to the batmobile???� But I didn�t say that, I acted excited and appreciative, like your supposed to. I think she picked up on the confusion though cause she told me that it would be a book I could practice writing in. So, that�s what I�ve been doing with it. Oh, and I got the batmobile too. So it�s all cool.
When everything was all packed up and mom asked if I was ready to go, I said just a minute and went into my old room one last time. It was WEIRD standing in this tiny space where I used to spend all my time, a place my stuff used to messily crowd every inch of, now a totally empty husk. The only thing left that would give any sign that I ever lived there were these marks in the wall where mom carved my height over the years. I touched them & felt a little sad.
Then I walked outside and got in the truck and we drove off to our new lives. As Tim pulled out onto the highway, I wrote this in my composition book:
Sailing on the sea of traffic
Tattered roadmap steers the ship
All we ever get to live in
Is the moment that we�re in
Cause every end�s the beginning again
I thought it was pretty good. I tried to show mom, but she was busy arguing with Tim about directions and which interstate to take and said �Not now, Austin!�. I guess I�ll show it to her later.
Thanks for reading my weird little site. I�ll let you know how the move went once we�re all moved in to the new place. Talk to ya soon.
