Carrots

 

Edited by Wombatchar

 

27^th May 2002

 

Ah, carrots, the staple foodstuff of the rodent. Where would we be without the shiny orange-ness in the bottom of the vegetable rack? Well, apparently, not without carrots. Some historian guy has now said that carrots were not originally orange, but were white. They're only now orange, becoz some Dutch scientist made them that way! So now the REALLY bored foodologists (or whatever they're called) are trying to get them back to the original colour!

 

 Superstrange, no?

 

Has anyone ever thought about why carrots are such a strange shape? Why are they pointy? Why not …square? I’m sure square carrots would be more economically and ecologically sound.

 

Anyway, here are the top ten uses that I could think of for carrots:

 

擄    Darts to throw at members of So Solid Crew. A carrot in the eye can be fatal y'know!

擄    Earplugs for when you're getting nagged.

擄    Bait to lure cows so you can go cow tipping.

擄    Attractive toe separators, so your nail varnish doesn't get smudged.

擄    Put two over your eyes to make you see in the dark!

擄    False teeth for Halloween.

擄    To bribe health freaks to do your homework for you.

擄    Carving idols out of.

擄    Erm… eating.

擄    I've forgotten the last one.

 

Don't blame me if you get nagged at/grounded/expelled/ridiculed or go blind from doing these. This is at your discretion!! You’ve been warned.