� Thou shall respect bullfrogs.
� The time between half two and a quarter to three is holy.
� Never put a jingerly hat on a bed (four poster or otherwise ) or thou shall be hexed by duvets, depicting things too terrible to be described.
� Peoples whose name or names remain unknown shall be titled Dave or Erotic John, depending on the amount of snow.
� Adultery is actively encouraged.
� Kissing snakes is forbidden, but dogs and limited varieties of goldfish are acceptable, if that�s your thing.
� Dormice must not be used as socks.
� Thou must ******* sexual encounter *******.
� Thou must not ingest partially inverted sugar syrup and more than an eighth of maltodextrin simultaneously.
� Eating or even slightly gnawing curtains is frowned upon.
� Thou shall not misuse toasters, for the lord will hold no one guiltless.
Commandments must be read every 4.683 months in sacred areas such as Chale Green where upon all clothing must be removed and bulletproof gimp suits must be donned to both protect against firearms offences and prevent sexual frustration
The breaking or questioning of any of the above laws will result in a good hard stoning for peoples whose height is of below 4 ft 2 inches and peoples who belong outside of said parameters shall thus be punished with a sagacious shafting from the rod of discipline.