By Tristan Moir (and Rick Steen)
For all reasons, Bobby Crue is probably the complete opposite of what people believe a good character in RP is. But for all those same reasons, it doesn't matter. Bobby Crue is there, simply because he doesn't know that he isn't. That might sound a little complicated, but in all reality it isn't. The first thing that you need to understand is the theory of "Impotentia."
Impotentia is a very funny thing to understand, considering in any purely physical reality, it can not exist. Impotentia is a culmination of all possible actions which could be taken place by someone at a specific point in time. Say there's a guy standing on the side of a road. There are hundreds of "impotentia" for him. There would be one for him reaching his hand out. One for him jumping on the spot with one leg held up. Even one for him releasing inhuman amounts of flatulence. It's simply a metaphysical form of the possible. Effectively, if you could use impotentia correctly, you could throw someone at themself. Or even better, throw yourself at them. This is made possible by the other 'possibilities'. You simply reach between the very fabric of reality and take a hold of one of these 'possibilities' and you have whatever you took the possibility from.
Moving along from throwing people at themselves, we'll look at the ideas of impotentia for movement. If you wanted to, say, teleport across the road mentioned above, all you have to do is 'trade-places' with one of your possibilities. Simple enough? Good. Because now we can begin on the ultimately strange being that is Bobby Crue.
Bobby Crue is an unnatural implementation of impotentia, simply caused because it was a possibility. And it went really wrong. Bobby Crue could have turned out intelligent, and able to use his limitless powers willingly, but of course the Universe doesn't work that way. One day he wasn't there, the next he was... And then for all time, simply because he didn't know that he wasn't. Bobby Crue has NO intelligence. He is a human without any form of brain-power what-so-ever. Infact, it is his sheer LACK of willpower that allows him to do the things that he does. His mind simply grabs an impotentia form of something and turns it into something else. This is how such things as bowling balls and pineapples make a common appearance around him.
Where ever Bobby goes, strange things happen. He can not be killed, simply because he doesn't know that he can be - impotentia at it's finest. Well, that's not entirely true. Bobby Crue CAN be killed. Strangely enough, tofu is his bane... The only thing in the entire Universe that can harm him, is tofu. Strange enough? That's nothing. If you were to attack Bobby Crue with tofu, you'd better be prepared for the repurcussion. He would urinate for four hours straight and regurgitate everything he ever ate (and considering his impotentia problem, he eats basically anything... including planets...) Finally, after all is done, he would explode in a brilliant flair of confetti. The other thing to remember, is that he will return. He doesn't know that he can't return and he also doesn't know that his conciousness (or lack, thereof) doesn't remain after death for him not to know that he can't return. Effectively, he can be beaten, but never killed.
There was once an experiment performed - somewhere that no longer exists - upon a single rat. They took some of Bobby's cells (which at the time appeared to be singing the Smurfs theme song) and injected it into the rat. Quite quickly, the rat's right eye grew to the size of a watermelon, while his left shrunk to that of a pin-point. They listened to it's heart, which sounded vaguely like an orangutang playing on a drumkit. Three hours later, the 'officials' of the laboratory checked the laboratory. They found nothing, save for rainbow-coloured faeces arranged in the shape of a messy smiley face. Thus, the B-Virus was created (can't tell that we'd played too much Resident Evil after drinking lots of sugar filled drinks, eh?)
Bobby Crue looks strange. His right eye is enormous, while his left is tiny. His hair is bright pink and his clothes are a strange assortment of fruity colours. He wears a leather straight-jacket over his torso, but it does little to stop the tentacles from waving around - although, they're not always there. He wears small boxes as shoes and generally carries an assortment of vacuum cleaner attachments - even though they haven't been invented yet.
For those of you who will call this character 'bullshit' or 'immortal', please don't think I'm trying to be cheap. Bobby Crue is simply a small amount of humour being thrust into a world full of stupid power struggles.
Bobby Crue was originally created by Rick Steen and Tristan Moir of Antimatter Entertainment, as a really weird thing which would make people say "what the fuck?"