Hopes and Dreams in the Devil's Playground

Friday, May 9, 2003 - Las Vegas, NV - J.C. Wooloughan's at JW Marriott Las Vegas

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Even with Ireland thousands of miles away, the pub the two Whiskey Devils stumbled upon made it seem like they were right in the heart of downtown Belfast.  And that was perhaps the best feeling in the world for the two of them.  Lancaster loved the North of Ireland, but he knew that for Seamus, it was more than just a lovely place...it was home.  Seamus' mood would just fly off the charts into happiness and joviality whenever he stepped foot into an Irish pub, especially in one that was authentic as this one.

Lancaster's mood was still very up and down as of late.  He tried to brush off the split with his wife by projecting a very confident, aloof attitude.  As always though the inward feelings of the nobleman told a different story.

Getting away though, to a different Irish pub in every town they had the pleasure of visiting became a near sacred tradition for the Whiskey Devils.

After the two got a few pints of Guinness into them, or a few shots of Bushmills, then the world and its problems would simply melt away, and would be left at the door.  

That old saying, "When Irish eyes are smiling...the whole world smiles back at you."  That was not merely a saying to bolster Irish tourism.  

It was Gospel truth.

Seamus and Lancaster were seated and already Lancaster sensed Seamus satisfaction.  Lancaster looked around and felt his senses tingle by hearing the drone of near by British accents.

The Duke took a deep breath and inhaled an unhealthy amount of smoke and the resonating smell of the ghosts of a thousand pints past.  And smiled, happily.

"Ach, this is the life, in't it, lad?"

"It certainly is lad...it could be home almost."


"Almost, but not quite...nothin' beats a freshly poured pint o'Guinness from O'Leary's, that's fer feckin' sure!"

There was absolutely no debating that fact whatsoever.  Lancaster shook his head vehemently in agreement.

"No doubt...but let's give it a whirl anyway."


The Duke whistled and caught the attention of a very attractive, fiery red-headed waitress, perhaps no older than 25 or so.  She walked up to them, and smiled.

"Evening lads...what can I get for ya now?"


Seamus and the Duke looked back at each other with glee, hearing that she too was from the Old Country.  With a grin, Lancaster passed her off to Seamus.

"Lad, do the honours will ye?"

"AYE! Two pints of yer finest Guinness, will ya lass!"

She soon smiled widely too, obviously unaware of who her two famous clients were.  She took great satisfaction of hearing the familiar accents.

"Auch it's great to have two British gents here!!"


The Duke grinned widely.

"Dunno if you can call us 'gents' love, but it certainly is grand to be here!"

"Aye, it is indeed...tell me lass, whereabouts are ye from?"

"Oh well I'm from a wee place off the coast...ye've never heard of it most likely, a small place called Craggy Island."

The two were about to burst in laughter, when she continued.

"To be honest though, we weren't always an island, until some feckin storm came along and blew us away off the mainland...sure that's what Father Larry always taught me."

Lancaster bit his lip, trying to hold in his laughter.  The much maligned Father Larry had escaped death and was the subject of more jokes between Rob and Seamus than should be admitted.

"Uh, that wouldn't happen to be a Father Larry Duff, would it?"

Her eyes grew wide with disbelief.

"AYE! Do ye two know Father Larry Duff??"

"Aye, that we do, lass! Talk about a small feckin' world, aye lad?"


Rob could only shake his head "yes" as he buried his mouth in his hands.

"Well! You two just became me two favourite customers! Just one moment and I'll get yer Guinnesses!"

Lancaster finally began to snicker uncontrollably as Seamus too couldn't resist any longer.  The laughter subsided after a few moments as they realized they'd be making some unscheduled trips to Las Vegas much more often in the foreseeable future.

"Ah Jesus Christ this is grand lad.  No matter what, win or lose, we'll definitely have to make a return trip here after Silver."

The friendly waitress returned and served the two of them their Guinnesses.

"Here ye are now...for the rugged lad from Belfast, and the handsome lad from England...my name is Kathleen...but ye can call me Kathy...if ye need anything, just shout..."

She peered down at them with a smile, and turned to walk away.  Seamus finally had a chance to respond to the Duke.

"Feckin' aye, lad!!! Yer damn right about that! An'lad, I don't know if ye noticed, but did ye see the way that lass was lookin' at ye?"

Seamus winked at his tag team partner.  Lancaster smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh I dunno lad, if she's lucky I may just have to show her the true meaning of 'the Nobility of the Sword...'"

"Ach, that's a wee bit more like it, lad...ye've been mopin' about that Stephy fer far too long, an'she's been jerkin' ye around fer way too long an'all...why not have yerself a wee bit o'fun, lad?"

Nudge nudge, wink wink!

Both men took a long sip from their fresh cold Guinnesses.  


"Ah, ye wouldn't be suggesting that I indulge in adultery would you lad...again?"

The Duke made light of his past indiscretions, and felt he was allowed to do so considering Steph had done the same.

"Ach, I said no such thing, ye wee bugger!" [he winked at Lancaster] "Mind ye...ye look like ye could do wi'a wee bit o'some sweet colleen, if ye catch my drift!  Or maybe that should be 'Kathleen', lad!"

"Don't you worry lad, I've taken care of that."

Lancaster gesticulated with his free hand and squeezed the air.  Seamus shook his head with a large grin firm on his face.

"But surely Messrs.. Flare and Thunder must be taken care of too..."

"Aye, those wee buggers...they want our feckin' titles...think they have what it takes to beat the Irish Assassin and the English Noble?"

"When they're BWWa's Tag Team Champions, and mind you Flare also reached the finals of the Crusade..." the Duke took another sip, "...aye they'll have what it takes.  As always we best be on our best...and ye know what that means...no drinking within one hour of the bout!"

"Ach, that didn't seem to effect us too much against SeX, though...but aye, I know what ye mean...Flare and Thunder are another can o'worms altogether...hell, we could have beaten SeX drunk and blindfolded, for feck's sake!"


"Perhaps but that would have meant fighting them just the way they like it in the bedroom!  No no no, we must fight Flare and Thunder on our terms, the way we like it.  Meaning, kicking the shit out of them and keeping them in our corner.  I'll drink to that."


"Aye, and I'll drink to that as well! [looking at his empty glass] Feck! More drinks, lad?"

"And more Kathy, oh yes. LOVE, over here!"

Kathy looked up from afar and came running over a bit, casting a marvelous image and motion in her tight white tshirt.  Despite her boss' casting stare, she sat on Lancaster's lap and smiled.

"What can I get for you darlin..."

"Well that depends...lad, do ye feel like another Guinness, or some whiskey?"

"Well frankly lad,"
[gazing down at her chest] "a jug of either would be lovely..."

Kathy got off Lancaster's lap and lightly smacked him in the face playfully. "You cheeky swine.  Is he always that bad?"

"Aye, sometimes worse!"

"Seamus...
[placing his hands mockingly on his chest] I'm wounded!"

Just as Seamus was going to reply, a camera crew walked into the pub, and signaled to Lancaster and Seamus.

"SHYTE.  Looks like we're going to have to pass on the whiskey for now lass. We've gotta run. Just bring the bill when you've got a chance."

Kathy showed her displeasure as she handed them a quickly scribbled bill.

"I'll get this one lad."

"Aye, good man...so lad, ye just about ready?"


Lancaster finished the last of his Guinness before reaching into his pocket and leaving Kathy a $50 bill.

"That I am lad, but yer getting the next one, got it ya cheap bugger?" Rob smacked Seamus on the back jokingly and then handed the fifty to Kathy, who stood amazed.

""Feck off, ye wee backstard! Gotta start savin' me pennies an'all that, what wi'a wee nipper on the way!" He winked at Lancaster.

The Brits stood up and prepared to go, as the Duke parted ways with Kathy.


"Many thanks my lady...I hope to have the pleasure of your company again soon."

Rob took her hand and kissed it firmly, as they turned and walked out of the pub with the camera crew in hand.

They, and especially Rob, knew they'd return soon.




Friday, May 9, 2003 - Las Vegas, NV - the Strip

The scene opens, focused on the great "volcano" situated immediately outside the Mirage Resort/Casino.  The flames roar periodically, shooting up in the air a few feet.  The heat intense, methodical, unmistakable.

"Welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada.  Sin City.  Home turf of the BWWa and Messrs.. Flare and Thunder.  Ah Las Vegas.  Sin City.  Also...the Devil's Playground?"


The camera pulled back to reveal Robert Lancaster and Seamus standing in front of the fires of the Mirage, as they turned slowly to face the lens, each man with their halves of the CAL World Tag Team Championship over their shoulders.

"The Devil's Playground, as it is.  Perhaps it is not your home turf or your terms that we are playing on," offered Lancaster.

"But then again...we didn't exactly come here to play by yer goddamned rules...we didn't exactly come here to follow yer terms, did we?" The intensity in Seamus' voice was obvious.  This was no time for jokes, snide remarks.  It was time to step forward as men and destroy.

"And of course, we shant play by your rules, or your terms.  You are both fine athletes, no doubt...you are the Tag Team Champions of your respective federation.  But this is your chance to seize the world, to show that you have what it takes.  We've proven it already.  Now it's your turn.  Unfortunately for you though, it will be our turn to show that the true possessors of flare, and thunder in the ring..." the Duke gave a confident grin, "are the Whiskey Devils."

The two Brits left the railing and began to walk down Las Vegas Avenue, otherwise known as the Strip.

"Feckin' aye...ye know, when the two o'ye defeated those gobshites, SeX, to become the number one contenders to these [patting the CAL Tag Team belt hanging over his shoulder]...Robbie an'I were feckin' GLAD it was the two o'ye who came out on top! Ye wanna know why??? [screaming maniacally at the camera] DO YE??? [quietly, almost whispering] Because we knew what we were gettin' when we face the two o'ye this Sunday...because ye see, we know that ye know what it takes to be champions...just look at ye! BWWa Tag Team Champions! But do ye honestly think that for one bloody second, ye've got what it takes to take these away from us??? Ye need to take a good long look in the mirror...tell me, what do ye see? [screaming again] WHAT DO YE SEE???"

"Because I'll tell ye what I see...I see two great superstars who have what it takes...I see two great superstars who know how to win...I SEE TWO GREAT FECKIN' SUPERSTARS WHO ARE DESTINED...FOR GREATNESS...some day...unfortunately for the two o'ye...this Sunday...is NOT...THAT...DAY!!!"

Seamus and Lancaster continued along, stopping momentarily in front of Treasure Island, where the famous pirate battle was going on.  They continued onwards though, walking along, passing curious tourists who wondered what was going on.

"And although it is not that day, we know you shall give all that you have.  But it will not be enough.  You can fight till you are bloodied and broken.  But it will not be enough.  You can use any and EVERY MEANS at your disposal [growing more intense]. BUT. But. It will NOT be enough.  THIS we vow with every drop of blood and determination that flows through our veins.  YOU may be a GREAT team.  But WE are FATED, we are UNITED in blood and through the history that we are endowed with.  Warriors past. Warriors today.  And we shall NOT surrender, to YOU, or ANY one, in the BWWa, IWA, CSWA.  It does NOT and will NEVER matter."

"So Flare and Thunder...we'll see yer arses this Sunday at Silver...ye want to shake hands wi'the devils? Step right up. Ye want to bring yer sh*tkickers? Bring 'em, and we'll gladly kick the sh*t out of 'em [growing ever more intense]. YE WANT TO TAKE THESE FECKIN' BELTS AWAY FROM US??? [almost whispering again] Good Luck...because this Sunday, yer "luck o'the Irish"...HAS JUST...RUN...OUT!!!"

"Gentlemen.  We invite you to go for the gold.  Show us your flare, show us your thunder.  Spin the wheel, pull the lever, roll the dice.  And no matter the outcome, you will only be left with champagne wishes...and caviar dreams.  And if you don't like it..."

Lancaster turned to Seamus.  WIthout anger, without much semblance of emotion, Seamus responded.

"Ye can pogue mahone..."

The two men turn and walk away, as the scene pulls back and the Whiskey Devils are swallowed by the crowds walking the streets of Las Vegas, who, like Flare and Thunder, walk in search of their dreams.
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