This and all other pictures on this page, unless otherwise credited, were very kindly supplied

by Matthew Ashton from his website - The Bill for Australians

"Juliet... is one of my favourite ever Cullen episodes. Probably the favourite in fact."

Ged Simmons, July, 2002

A nineteen year girl who has Downs Syndrome is missing - the episode opens with uniform (in the form of Dave and Polly) searching for her and then finding her. Shauna (**) is taken back to the station so the FME can check her out and, with an amazing leap of intuition (Bones McCoy would be jealous), the FME discovers she is pregnant. Fairly inevitably (particularly since both mum and sister are insistent that there is no boyfriend) we leap to the conclusion that she has been abused. This is when DI Cullen comes into the storyline.

Alex's first reaction is that he didn't know that people with Downs Syndrome could get pregnant. He then (looking extremely cute with his new shorter haircut and a very serious expression) asks sensible and thoughtful questions of the doctor and June before coming up with the unarguable summary:

We-ell, [gusty sigh] I don't know what to think. I mean obviously someone, somewhere, somehow.... ' [hand sweep and sigh]

This episode is remarkable for people's inability to say plain factual words even when Shauna is not present - Alex's next offering in this category is:

Was there any sign that she'd been - [grimaces and looks at the doctor]

There wasn't and the doctor points out to Alex and Kate (who is definitely looking for blood) that Shauna could well have consented. Alex isn't too impressed with this theory:

Hang on a minute, Doctor. Agreeing to you giving her a medical examination is one thing - agreeing to full sexual intercourse when she may not even have a clue as to what it's all about - that's something completely different! [Bulldozes over doctor who is trying to say something] I mean, you know, please, Your Honour, she was 19 - she said yes.

By the time the three police officers leave the room, with Kate starting to do her righteous indignation froth-at-the-mouth, Cullen, at least, is remembering what an open mind looks like though. Instructing June and Kate that no-one is to mention the pregnancy Cullen takes them to see the family.

Alex is his usual quiet, reasonable self as he questions them, trying to find out who could have done this or when it could have happened - eventually he admits that we suspect that Shauna has been abused. He's sitting back, watching and analysing the family's reaction when Kate - who has been chomping on her muzzle over his right shoulder - throws the "She's pregnant" card on the table. It's not a friendly look she gets from her long-suffering DI ;-)

After a scene with Shauna, Dave and Polly we go back to the interview room with Alex et al. Natalie, Shauna's sister, takes more part in the discussion now, assuring us that Shauna is neither stupid or a child and she knows where babies come from. (To allow reality to rear its ugly head - she went to school, of course she'd know!) Natalie then seems to realise that Shauna might have been attacked and gets upset. The questioning to find a possible father/abuser continues. As Alex says,

I don't think there's anyone we can rule out at this stage, Mrs Russell.

The next scene has Cullen putting an earpiece in before going in to question Shauna in what is obviously a special interview room used for children or other vulnerable people, to allow for their evidence to be videoed and to spare them the sight of a tape recorder and another copper - all that is contained in the adjacent room through a one way mirror. Couldn't see why we didn't use the soft interview room (AKA the rape suite) - it's been used for other similar investigations - as this is a singularly horrible little room. I would like to know (because the question of whether Shauna was able to consent to things or was given the opportunity to do so did waver a bit) whether the whole you-are-being-videoed thing was explained to her and whether she knew her mother could see and hear her after her mum left later on.

I can see why Ged likes this ep - it's a lovely role with plenty of range in it. There's anger, annoyance, pity, empathy, concern, discomfort and humour. If I had to sum Cullen up in this episode though I'd say that he comes across first and foremost as a very decent man who is slightly out of his depth - and knows it - but knows that he can't take the easy route out. I'm sure he met plenty of sexual assault victims over at West End Vice but few would have been young or even unworldly children - and it wouldn't usually be a divisional DI who was tromping around in those delicate waters. I'd say on the evidence of this episode there's no way there's a pack of wee redheads at home - he's struggling far too much. We cut out to the canteen and Ben minding Natalie during the interview and then come back in time for Alex to learn a few facts of life about bunny rabbits.

And er the rabbit, um, did she have any babies?

[Nod]

Good.

But she et them.

After going round and round bunny babies, favourite music and people making you do things you don't like - all to very disappointing results Alex tries a more direct approach and brings up the 'p' word. Shauna responds by saying she wants to talk to Dave. After some abortive questioning about where she knows him from, Alex asks if he asked her to keep a secret. When Shauna says yes Alex tries his best and sweetest snake oil salesman -

Well, that's okay because I'm a policeman and people are allowed to tell me secrets.

Shauna obviously has exceedingly poor taste in men because she is able to resist him. ;-)

Other highlights are the cutsie toned,

Shauna, do you like Dave?

and

Is he your boyfriend?

Around then, however, in between beating off Shauna's mum's interference, it dawns on him she might mean Dave Quinnan so he is fetched and gets to play round and round the Shauna-bush ;-) It is quite obvious that Shauna isn't going to speak freely with her mum in there so Alex calls a halt to proceedings and removes her tactfully - which gives Shauna the chance to tell Dave about a 'rude' man named John at Studio 47, a club for intellectually disabled people that she attends twice a week.

Next scene is Kate and Alex walking towards the club while Alex expiates on the difficulty of the case -

Let's hope we can dig up a few witnesses - and they're not all like Shauna....CPS will never let her on the stand - any defence lawyer will tie her up in knots

.

The door is opened by a young man named Peter, whom we have some difficulty communicating with.

Back at the station a social worker has arrived to sit in on the interview and it continues with Dave doing the questioning and Danny as the watcher.

Inside the club Alex looks even more like a giant than usual but manages to locate Mrs Arnold, who runs it. She produces John for us and we quickly tumble to the fact that rude means not polite and nothing more.

We then cut back to the station where Danny answers the phone then interrupts the interview to tell Dave -

That was the DI on the phone - apparently it's not John.... So he asked me to say cut to the chase - just ask her straight whose ... you know.

Back at the club Mrs Arnold tells us that men with Downs Syndrome are very rarely fertile - no-one seems to grasp that very rarely is not never.

Shauna refuses to tell Dave the answer to the you-know-what question.

Kate and Alex have half the club each and are trying to get some information out of them. Poor dear sweet polite Alex gets the half that cons him into holding an invisible giraffe and goes,

Officer, officer, [huge raspberry] egg!

every two minutes.

Kate gets the half who answers questions readily and in Greek chorus. They tell her about a Dave who used to work there. Mrs Arnold confirms he was sacked for selling things to the members.

Asked the right question Shauna admits it was that Dave she wanted to speak to and that she was looking for him when she left home. Asked the not quite right question she says that she wanted to speak to him about the baby.

Outside the club Cullen sums it up:

This is going to be a nightmare. I mean, just imagine - you're going to have one witness walking in holding an invisible giraffe and then another one going 'Hey, judge, judge! Egg!' [huge raspberry]

This wonderful screencap was provided by Mike B

Kate and Alex go to Dave Taylor's place where Kate verbally attacks the poor man. After an admonitory 'Kate!' has sailed straight past her Alex merely looks resigned, probably thinking about how unfortunate it is that you can't clout wee female DCs - or about how embarrassing it is when you're 6'1" and it looks like you have to be protected by an attack pekinese ;-)

Not surprisingly Alex dumps Kate for Dave as an interview partner back at the station, telling Danny,

I thought she was going to tear his guts out - not that he doesn't deserve it, but.... still.

The next scene is one of the best Cullen scenes ever. Alex takes Annie, Shauna's mum, aside to discuss the possible need for DNA matching of the foetus to the putative attacker. He is sooooooooooooo sweet - so gently balancing on dragon's eggs.

My concern is, and I don't mean any disrespect to Shauna, but if this comes down to one person's word against another [....] I'm just worried that if our suspect denies it until he's blue in the face....

But he can't deny she's pregnant.

No, no. So we'll almost certainly have to do a paternity test [I only wish words could convey the tenderness and sensitivity, the body language which speaks of discomfort and fear of giving pain.] - which'll mean taking DNA from the suspect [pause - Annie begins to nod] and [pause, a close-lipped look of sympathy, almost a grimace - Annie nods a painful comprehension] I'm sorry to raise this issue but if you were considering a termination- [pauses and looks almost enquiringly at Annie.]

[Shakes head in gesture of non-comprehension/disbelief]A termination?

[Slight nod.] Then we'd.... also... need... DNA.... from... [again a closed-lip nod]

While Annie talks about the possibilities Alex watches closely, with compassion.

[...]I just don't know, I just don't know if I could cope with Shauna and a baby on my own. I just don't know! [wipes away tears]

[softly and with empathy]No...[He looks down]

So anyway, um, I'll have to talk to Shauna -

To Shauna?

- to explain it to her. Well, it'll have to be her decision.

Uh, yeah... I suppose. [As always, adapting and learning as he goes along.]

Annie talks about the decision.

How can I explain to Shauna that there's even more of a reason to not have the baby because it might be like her? How can I? [cut to Alex showing concern] How can I do that?

I really don't know what to say - but I'm afraid that's what it might come down to - a DNA test. So whatever happens if you can just bear that in mind, because it might be the only way to nail the [bites back the 'b*****d', or similar, which was clearly coming and more gently phrases it as] proceed with this, okay?

Next scene has Danny and Alex discussing the case in the corridor. They've found stolen/pirated CDs and trainers at Dave Taylor's place and Cullen's hypothesis is that he may have got the club members to have sex with him in payment. As they reach this conclusion Dave brings Taylor into the corridor, heading for the interview room. Cullen leans against a door frame and looks longingly at him.

Sometimes you wish you could just have five minutes alone with them.

We see the interview next. Dave is sitting in but it is very much Cullen's interview. He bombards the man with suppositions as much as questions - the cool calm DI is definitely less cool and calm than usual. Sitting through that harrowing interview would have that effect on you, I would think. Both the temperature and voice are raised by the time Taylor says that,

I just treated them like anybody else.

But they're not like anybody else, are they? They're -

There's a long and significant pause while Alex obviously is struggling both with his temper and with the word he nearly said. (To be honest that's a fairly typical reaction from someone who doesn't have much to do with the disabled - go ahead and say it - They're disabled. They have an intellectual disability that makes it harder for them to learn and to function independently. Alex summed it up, not too badly if slightly overstated, earlier on - These people are extremely vulnerable, extremely susceptible, extremely impressionable)

Taylor then reveals that one of the other things he supplied was condoms. Cullen is a little thrown by this and unfortunately can't abandon his anger about what he believes has happened to Shauna quickly enough to see the possibilities offered here. It's Dave who follows up the question of who has been having sex and where. Cullen leaps back to the attack then.

'Cause you see, whoever's been a little overfriendly with Shauna's left something behind - their DNA. You won't mind if we check to see if it's yours, will you?

The next scene has Dave and Cullen walking down a corridor discussing the case. Alex shows he's more or less grasped the point of all those safe sex pamphlets Chandler keeps giving him by deducing that the people wearing condoms won't have got her pregnant (erm, you can tell that this is editorial, can't you?) - see previous comments about little risk not meaning no risk. Cullen has also decided that Shauna has been lying through her back teeth - though, as Dave points out, it is at least partly a question of how we interpret it.\

Dave, wake up and smell the cheese! She's run rings around the lot of us because we all thought she was simple, and she's far from it.

Dave then goes back in and asks the question again. Shauna throws one but as Dave says -

Shauna, it might have worked with the man in the shop, it may even have worked with the lady doctor but it is not going to work with me.

I suspect from the way Alex is stopping Annie's protests in the other room this eventuality had been planned for. Anyway Shauna does stop chucking one but doesn't answer no matter how bullying Dave makes his tone (Truly, the poor child should have been an IRA terrorist - they couldn't have held her or interrogated her for as long!) so he starts reading out a list of names. The facial expression gives it away when he gets to Peter. Upon Dave's repeating it Shauna more or less nods then throws at Dave, the insult she'd earlier learned from dear darling Debbie (who had directed it at Des, I hasten to add). Go to http://austbill.topcities.com/tbaufileserver/julietvids.zip (you have to cut and paste this into your browser) to see a wonderful video clip of it and of Alex's earlier . (With thanks to Matthew Ashton at The Bill for Australians)

Alex and Dave go back to Studio 47 to see Peter. Alex's understanding of not-simpleness is well in evidence ;-) Peter (whom I would have sworn has Downs Syndrome) admits that yes, he's Shauna's boyfriend - and wants to marry her, yes, he's made love with Shauna and yes, he got condoms from Dave Taylor. When our Dave cuts to the chase of what they did after that condom supply dried up Peter gives us a gappy-toothed grin and intones,

Oh dear, oh dear - naughty Peter.

The look on Alex's face suggests that he's probably had to sit through slightly more wordy dissertations of that from all too many dopey DCs.

Back at the station now Dave and Alex are seeing Shauna and family into a police car for the trip home. Shauna sums it all up when Dave reassures her that Peter still loves her -

I don't love him, I don't want to marry him and I don't want babies!

Next scene is Alex and his attack pekinese choofing down the corridor to CID.

Think you can bail Dave Taylor without beating the living daylights out of him?

Arriving in CID Alex is met by Danny telling him that there's a bloke named Peter asking for him downstairs. (Shall we skip over the fact that a man whose speech is so unclear it took several tries for us to get his name and who can't get out to buy his own condoms has presumably just trotted off to the police station on his own and asked for Alex and been understood? Yeah, I'm feeling merciful.) Alex tells him to get Dave. As he says, while closing his office door firmly on the barking world,

I've had enough for today.

The ep then finishes with a Cullen-less and, I think, weak scene of some of uniform discussing it down the pub. I'd say it's meant to be light relief - but humour is rarely my cup of tea.

Other general comments -

*While this was screened after Christmas in the UK (perhaps due to the upheaval of Richard Handford getting the sack) it is littered with Christmas decos and party hats so it's probably as close to being a Christmas ep as they had in 2001.

*I thought this really could have done with being an extended ep - which might have allowed Mrs Arnold some reality - instead she was calm to the point of idiocy when her world was crashing around her. Funding (council/ private/whatever) would be at serious risk and a heck of a lot of her members would be removed snip snap and let the actor slow the pace a little. There were times when I really felt they were rushing to get through.

*Regardless of what we were supposed to think, Dave Taylor was no white knight for mine. No, he wasn't evil - but he was stupid and irresponsible. It was good that they had condoms but it would have been better if we could be sure that everyone who wound up having sex in that storeroom really had given informed and legal consent given it was a mixed age and ability group.

*My congratulations to Anna-Marie Heslop, who played Shauna. Even though she beat a friend of mine for the part I have to say she did a damned fine job. Tom Needham deserves congratulations too for producing a damn good TB ep which also addressed disability issues while avoiding most of the cliches.

Tie rating