By Avon
Copyright September, 2002
The characters (well, the non-scaly ones!) in this story are borrowed from The Bill, which belongs to the Freemantle Media
This is the beginning....
Cullen sighed in exasperation as Kate burst through his office door.
"You've scared him," he said.
Kate looked at her guv'nor who was crouched down looking at an empty piece of floor - and choked back the 'My snout knows more than Mickey's snout' speech she'd been about to burst forth with.
"Guv?"
"Sssh, Kate," Cullen said, as he slowly held out his hand with half a Jaffa Cake on it. "Come, little one," he crooned. "Come, golden one, come."
Kate edged slowly back towards the door but froze as the floor in front of Cullen suddenly flickered with a orange-gold light that, with a crackle, solidified into a small dragon. She blinked in disbelief. If she could have moved she would have pinched herself. A moment earlier there had been nothing but carpet; now a small dragon stood there, complete in every detail. It was about a foot and a half in length and covered in burnished gold scales, which shone with a lustre that Kate had previously only associated with the most expensive of nail polishes. Its nails - claws - were blood red and sharply and delicately pointed. As Kate watched it hooked a gentle claw into the DI's sleeve as it licked up the last crumbs from the Jaffa Cake with a long purple tongue.
"There, my pretty one," Cullen murmured, the Northern burr in his voice thicker than ever.
Moving slowly, he stretched out his other hand to rub gently at the base of the dragon's ridge of scales. The dragon flickered in and out of focus for a moment but Cullen continued to soothe it with soft words until it settled into a soft-edged reality, like something seen through a dawn mist. It turned to face him, faint hisses of steam escaping from its mouth as its forked tongue flicked in and out.
Still in the same quiet voice, but with a glance up at Kate, Cullen said, "There's some more Jaffa Cakes on my desk but don't scare him this time, girl! There's no need to thunder around like this is Le Mans."
He sounded just as he would if he was asking her to pass a pair of binoculars on an obbo - emphatic, but as calm and cool as ever.
Staying as far away as she could from the dragon Kate fetched the Jaffa Cakes. With a word of thanks and a nod of approval at her slow careful movements - more for her own sake than for the dragon's, if only he'd known - Cullen took another cake. He held the cake temptingly close but just out of range. The dragon fixed it with an unblinking purple gaze and stretched its neck out, tongue flickering greedily. The cake was still just out of reach and it shivered its wings in - anticipation?… frustration? Kate didn't know.
Slowly, to Cullen's softly murmured encouragement it climbed, a lightly placed foot at a time, onto his arm. He let it have the cake, then, while he kept up a constant flow of quiet reassurances.
Kate continued to watch in a state of total disbelief. She tried briefly to convince herself that this was some sort of elaborately thought out practical joke and the dragon some mechanical construction - but it was easier to believe that Cullen had a dragon as a pet than to see him as a practical joker. Besides, not even the best special effect or computer generated animation in the latest million pound blockbuster had ever looked as real as this dragon. Muscles rippled down its side as it curled its tail a little around the DI's wrist to maintain its balance and the faintest smell of chocolate and orange scented smoke hung in the air.
"Guv…"
"Be quiet, Kate," Cullen said in his most final tones, although he didn't take his eyes from the jewel-bright lizard that was stretched along his arm or raise his voice.
For all his quietness he was a difficult DI to disobey but Kate stopped more because she couldn't imagine what she would say. 'That's a dragon!' were the only words which came to mind - and presumably the man who was rubbing his knuckles gently along its smoothly scaled side knew that.
The Jaffa Cake was gone now and the dragon's purple eyes were fixed on the DI's face. Kate hoped he wasn't planning Cullen Casserole but from the wrapt look on the DI's face he obviously didn't have any such fears. Still engrossed in the dragon Cullen stood up very slowly with the winged lizard clinging to his sleeve. Continuing to stroke gently it, he raised an eyebrow at Kate.
"What was it you wanted?"
Kate blinked and tried to remember. Something about her snout and Mickey's snout and the possible location of a load of bent tellies… before she had managed to assemble a coherent enough sentence for the DI Mickey popped through the door. Speak of the devil, as her gran would have said - and all too accurately, thought Kate sourly.
Mickey stopped just inside the door, mouth agape and eyes bugged out.
"Bleeding hell, Guv'nor!"
Cullen looked blandly back at him. Mickey looked from Cullen to Kate, stunned. What he saw on her face at least reassured him that she also saw a golden dragon resting contentedly on the guv'nor's grey suit-clad arm.
"Blimey,' Mickey said heavily and moved closer. "What the hell is that?"
Cullen gave him a quizzical look.
"It's a dragon - you must have heard of them."
"Well, yeah… but not in my DI's office!"
Mickey looked at Kate for support and she moved closer- though still making sure that Mickey would be the one barbequed.
"Dragon's aren't real, Guv," she added.
Cullen sat down at his desk and let the dragon crawl onto it to investigate the Jaffa Cake package and its last remaining occupant.
"I hope you are a bit more open-minded when you're investigating a crime," he said reprovingly. "I think the evidence is clear that they do exist, Kate. Of course, by this time of year they've usually flown south - Britain's too cold for dragons in winter. Some of them hibernate but they need to be pretty solidly built for that. A little fellow like this just wouldn't have the fat reserves. I don't know why he didn't go south. Maybe he waited too long and had no-one to follow - this would have been his first migration, I'm sure."
Mickey and Kate looked helplessly at each other. He sounded so confident and matter of fact - he could have been explaining some wrinkle in PACE instead of the lifecycle of an entirely mythical beast. On the other hand they could hear the supposedly mythical beast's blood-red claws clicking on the desk as it scuffled around. Just then another noise, coming from the window into the main office, made the two DCs turn around and the DI look up. The rest of CID - Duncan, Danny, Debbie and Vik - stood there, pressed against the glass.
Cullen maintained his blandest expression.
"I suppose you'd better let them in or there'll be a glazier's bill to pay."
Paul headed straight for the DI's desk and the others followed and clustered around. The dragon skittered back closer to Cullen, fading in and out of visibility.
"You're scaring it," Kate said.
"I'm scaring a dragon?" said Debbie, pointing in disbelief. "OW!"
A small golden paw had flashed out at her and a thin red scratch now ran across the back of her hand.
"Yes," said Cullen, in very definite tones. "You are, Debbie - and frightened things lash out."
He met her eyes.
"You should know that."
Debbie dropped her eyes and took the paper handkerchief Duncan was offering.
Everyone's attention returned to the dragon. The DI was stroking its flank and it was now solidly visible.
"Erm... what is it, Guv?" Vik asked.
Kate and Mickey exchanged superior looks.
"It's a dragon, Sarge," Kate pointed out in her best addressing-a-moron tones - tones that she usually reserved for Mickey Webb.
"It's too skinny to hibernate and too little to fly south," added Mickey.
"It eats Jaffa Cakes and it's the Guv'nor's pet," Kate continued, in even more 'how-could-you-not-know' tones.
Cullen grinned at them - the faintest of grins that barely left his eyes but on their stone-faced Guv'nor as good as another man's beams of pleasure.
"Oh, not just Jaffa Cakes - almost any sort of chocolate will do."
At the mention of chocolate the dragon looked up at Cullen, shivering in anticipation.
"All right," said Cullen, as it rubbed its head against his hand. "We'll get you something, you hungry little thing."
Paul stretched out a hand to gently stroke a scaly side.
"Sergeant McAllister has got two packets of Penguins in her desk."
Debbie pouted her lips in a scowl and muttered something about the need for rat - or Paul - traps, but went to fetch them.
The dragon stayed close to Cullen but seemed happy to let Paul pat it. Kate put a tentative hand out and, perhaps picking up the lingering smell of Jaffa Cakes, its tongue flickered lightly over it. Danny, risking a stroke of the jewel-bright tail, drew his hand back in surprise.
"It's so warm!"
"It's a dragon," Cullen explained patiently.
Mickey, who had been edging his hand closer stopped and looked at the dragon suspiciously.
"Is it gunna turn flame thrower?"
Cullen gave him his what-did-I-do-to-be-blessed-with-this-shower look.
"Not if you don't scare him badly."
Mickey moved his hand back and Kate looked distinctly worried.
Cullen
looked at them and shook his head.
"God help the Metropolitan Police Service…look at the size of him. Do you really think he's going to turn you into a mass of glowing coals? The best a little fellow like this is going to manage would be a little flame like a cigarette lighter."
"Oh, brilliant, makes me feel much better," said Debbie with heavy sarcasm, arriving back with a handful of chocolate biscuits.
She handed the biscuits over to Cullen and the dragon skittered around quickly after them, uttering little low rumbles of pleasure. They watched the dragon eat two of the biscuits, rubbing itself against the DI's hand and puffing out chocolate scented clouds of steam. There was a combined sigh of 'Isn't it cute?' when the dragon sat back on its tail and hind legs while it held the biscuit between its front paws and nibbled at it. Everyone - even Debbie, very cautiously - had a pat and felt the smooth strength of its scales and the warmth that radiated from it. Finishing the second biscuit and finding no more to be immediately forthcoming the dragon curved itself around to see what was happening and encountered Vik's hand. Immediately, it gave two almighty sneezes and bounced backwards looking disgusted. Continuing to shake its head, it clitter-clattered back across the desk and climbed on Cullen's arm.
Paul grinned.
"Don't think it likes your aftershave, Sarge."
"Understandable, said Debbie, almost sotto voice
Vik, looking pettish, started to say that just because it wasn't the cheap muck her boyfriends wore but Duncan interrupted him.
"Can't believe even Harrods stock dragons, Guv."
Cullen raised an eyebrow slightly.
"You can't buy a dragon - it would be like trying to ride a unicorn. I found this little fellow under my desk when my ankles started to get warm this morning. I leave the windows open at night so I suppose he just came in."
"So what's this? A prayer meeting?" interrupted a dour Yorkshire voice.
Mickey swore. Duncan moved a little in an attempt to have his bulk block out all view of the dragon. Debbie, disassociating herself from the group at the desk, moved away to look out the window. Vik closed his eyes in what could have been either disbelief or prayer. Danny tried to work out what disciplinary offence harbouring a mythical beast would come under and Kate flicked her fingers at the dragon in the hope of scaring it into disappearing. Only Cullen remained calm and unruffled. He made no attempt to hide the glowing golden lizard that was stretched along his arm.
"Just a preliminary briefing about Mr Chandler's zero tolerance burglary initiative. Did you want me for something, sir?"
Meadows stepped around the frozen bodies clustered at the desk to drop a pile of paperwork on it.
"Run through these and get me last month's overtime figures - I've got a meeting with Mr Chandler tomorrow."
There was a collective exhalation of breath as he left the room that made Cullen look up from rubbing his scaly pet's wings.
"It was like he just didn't see it!" Mickey exclaimed.
"I didn't think he would," Cullen answered. "I don't know him as well as some of you but I'd have said he was a very dour and matter of fact Yorkshireman - the type who believes nothing that can't be proved."
There was a minute's silence while everyone considered that without making any sense of it. It was Danny who asked,
"Guv? So what if he is?"
Cullen detached an exploring paw from his collar.
"It's like fairies or Santa Claus - you have to have some sort of belief - or at least imagination - in order to see them."
The twin looks on Danny and Debbie's faces made it very clear that they were both working out whether they could deny having seen it, but everyone else just looked relieved.
"We can keep him, can't we?" asked Paul.
"I'd say he'll probably stay until spring - he's obviously missed the migration. Now," Cullen paused to shift the sleeping dragon to a more comfortable position, "I think you've all got work to do. Kate, what did you want to see me about?"
Kate started a little - that seemed so very long ago - and exchanged glances with Mickey.
"We've both had tip-offs about the whereabouts of that load of bent tellies," she said, reluctantly.
"But we could follow it up together, couldn't we, Kates?"
"Yeah, I s'ppose - Michael," answered Kate, giving him a dark look but following him out of the room, as anxious as he was to discuss what had just happened.
*******
"Gov!" said Paul, leaping up from his chair to get in Chandler's way as he tried to enter CID.
"Hello, Paul," Chandler responded with his usual calculated smile, even as he wondered what the hell was going on.
Danny, standing just behind the Superintendent, was craning to see what Cullen was doing but after a quick glance up to see what was happening Cullen had simply returned to paperwork. The dragon was nowhere in sight though so Danny nodded at Paul who was asking an increasingly convoluted question about something Chandler had said at his last press conference. Paul brought his question to a hasty end and listened with assumed interest to Chandler's reply. As soon as Chandler stepped into Cullen's office Mickey and Kate made a dash for the filing cabinet by the door, while Debbie stood up - ostensibly to adjust her desk lamp - and watched through the office window.
"Oh God, Mickey - what if he sees it? I don't think dragons go with modular furniture and flat screen VDUs!"
"Don't panic - he's not going to see it. Only thing he believes in is himself."
"Alex," said Chandler with one of his more charming smiles, propping himself on the edge of the desk.
Alex looked up at him, a resigned wariness in his eyes. He was quite confident that whatever he was going to be asked to do would be something he didn't want to do. For all the years he'd known Chandler the older man had been the ideas man, all too ready to use charm and chat to get what he wanted while Alex followed and did much of the work. Until they'd come to Sun Hill, though, Alex hadn't minded. It might have been an uneven friendship but it was a friendship. Now, however, he was beginning to feel that Chandler regarded him as a crossover between one of the utility programs on his computer - highly useful but of no personal interest to him - and a comfortable old pair of slippers - something you consigned to the back of the wardrobe most of the time.
"Alex, mate, I've been thinking about those community meetings on the Cockcroft. I know you're head of the Community Safety Unit but I think it might be good if I got out there and let them see that they really matter to Sun Hill. The editor of the local rag rang and suggested -"
He got no further. Maybe it was his magnetic personality or maybe it was the lingering smell of chocolate on his hands from his morning tea Mars Bar, but the dragon woke from its nap on Cullen's lap. It stood up, putting its front paws on Chandler's leg and uttering inquiring little rumbles.
Chandler looked from the golden creature to his DI and said, with great force but with very much an air of resignation,
"Bloody hell, Alex!"