Beware, ye purveyors of trash
The following is a Yahoo! Instant Messenger conversation that I had with an unknown person from the time of approximately 10:45 pm until 11:15 pm on Saturday, February 14. The conversation appears in its entirety, with editions made by myself in the following manners:
1) offensive language was edited out using the first letter of the real word and asterisks
2) the unknown person's screen name was replaced with "CCC" as the name was fairly dirty
We all get those trashy IMs advertising dirty websites and chat rooms, I just decided to use this opportunity to its fullest advantage. All typos appear as they occurred in the conversation. Enjoy.
As you can probably guess, I lied to this guy several times. Don't be confused by that.
A special thanks to Catherine and Ryan, who provided great creative advice during the conversation.
CCC: hey sexy wanna chat
me: who is this?
CCC: a stranger looking for someone to chat with
me: no thanks
CCC: you sure
CCC: i am so f***ing boared
me: im 11
CCC: oh
CCC: yeah bye bye son
me: do you mean that you are bored?
me: because boared would be like a plank
CCC: i was typing fast not paying attention
CCC: i can type and i can read
me: i guess that would be boarded
me: kind of like a boat
me: you can type and read?
me: thats pretty cool
me: at the same time?
me: are you still there?
CCC: h*** yeah
me: i thought you would be
me: it would be hard to solicit 11-year-olds to watch your dirty porn if you weren't there
CCC: yeah
me: so who do you think will take the deomcratic caucuses on tuesday?
CCC: i dont know i aint into s*** like that well i just aint looked at tv in 3days
me: well it was a trick question anyways
me: there is no democratic caucus on tuesday
me: theres a presidential primary and a special election
me: but no caucus
me: why don't you watch tv?
CCC: yeah
me: what?
CCC: sorry
me: why don't you watch tv?
CCC: i dont know i dont have tiem
me: oh
me: too busy spreading your dirty smut all over the internet?
CCC: h*** no
CCC: i just been in Faytteville this weekend
me: oh
me: yeah
CCC: yes and raleigh
me: i heard about all the tvs in fayetville being broken all weekend long
CCC: no i just didnt look at tv i was busy hangin out with my griend
me: what is a griend
CCC: oh i am talking to my friend
CCC: he is stupid as h***
me: i bet he doesn't even know what a griend is
me: but you do, right?
CCC: hahhahahha ahhahha
me: oh wait
me: i have heard of griend
CCC: what the h*** is you talkig about
CCC: do you have a full deck
me: griend
me: its a band
me: they opened for all american rejects in greensborough
CCC: greensborough
CCC: shut the h*** up
me: you should really get a new screenname if you are going to talk to little kids
me: my parents just walked past and almost saw it
CCC: i dont wanna talkto little kids
me: then why are we having this conversation?
CCC: bye bye child
me: so have you ever been in any kind of legal trouble for talking to little kids about dirty stuff online?
CCC: no i have not
me: i was almost arrested last summer for downloading music
CCC: i am 18 and i dont talk to people younger then me
me: yeah you do
me: im younger
CCC: bye
me: so do you just randomly start conversations with people online?
CCC: som epopel with sinve
me: my neighbor used to do that too
CCC: oh
CCC: that is how you meet new people
me: but now he directs adult films
me: how do you know who to talk to?
me: my neighbor coded a java app to randomly generate possible screennames from commonly used segments
me: is that what you do?
me: anway
me: its almost my bedtime
me: stay in school, don't do drugs
me: and remember that fish are friends, not food