One afternoon, a little girl returned home from school and announced that a friend had told her where babies come from. Amused, her mother replied, "Why don't you tell me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well, mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thingy stands up, and then the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's how you get babies." Her mother shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye-to-eye, and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not how you get babies. That's how you get jewelry."
Oh so true, and you girls know that shit too. You know you hate it but you do it to get your way.
Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
A: Who cares?
The Geography Of A Woman
Between the ages of 18 and 21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful, with bush land around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 and 30, a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade, especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 and 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 and 40, a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war, but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 and 60, she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet, and her borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 and 70, a woman is like England or Mongolia. She has a glorious and all conquering past, but alas, no future.
After 70, they become like Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where she is, but no one wants to go there.
Just be glad that you are young.
-- Citizen D