november 14, 2003
		My Neighbor
		I live across the hall from a call girl. I know this because of the many observations and conversations that I have had with said female. So first a little background. She moved in at the beginning of this year, so she has been here for awhile. I do not run into people in my building very often, but being that she is directly across from me, I see her more than the others. She is an African American woman, about 5�7�, well built (aka big ass, but not a fat woman, you know how those sisters do it) and is mildly attractive. When I have run into her in the hall she is always wearing a certain type of clothing. Its not slutty clothing like Pretty Woman or anything, but it hints. For example, one time she was wearing a sort of business suit but had these incredible boots on that just screamed �Fuck Me!� (FM boots or Freddy Meullers, for those of you in on that joke). Anyway, whenever I see her, she is wearing something like that, that just pushes the thought into my head. Not enough evidence you say? I agree. There is more.     One night I was in the elevator and it was about 8 or 9 at night. I see her coming and she gets on the elevator with me. I notice that she is carrying a large case-like object that seems rather heavy. As she gets on the elevator I realize that I have two floors worth of time to chat with her. It goes something like this: Citizen D: �Hey, is that a massage table?� Hooker: �Yes, I am a masseuse.� Citizen D: (smiling) �Oh really--that�s cool. Are you going to someone�s house to do that.� Hooker: �Yah, you know, I do this sort of on the side to just make some extra money.�     So she gets off the elevator with her purple portable massage table and a bag filled with god knows what, looked to be some oils and perhaps some ben-wa balls. This is when the idea first hit me. I mean it makes sense right? What masseuse goes out at 9 at night on a call to give a massage? I thought about asking her if she gave the �Happy Ending� but I held back. Still not convinced? Well, I give you one last piece of evidence.     After the night in elevator I started putting two and two together. I noticed that whenever I saw her in the hall, she was with men quite often. Now notice that I did not say �man,� I said �men� because it is never the same person. She is usually holding hands with them and then they go into the apartment and usually loud music follows. Now given, I have never actually heard her having sex but I assume that is what the music is for and I have never seen money exchanging hands, but I think the evidence is there. -- Citizen D