september 30, 2004

BUSH v. KERRY Who Said The Dumbest Shit?

While watching the debates tonight courtesy of Yahoo streaming video, I jotted down quotes I thought were funny, figuring they would come in handy.....and oh they did!

First is rootin-tootin, shit-kicking, all my friends call me "W" "Not only kill there....but to kill children" Yah, fear talk, killing children is sad and heart-string tugging. "Constantly stay on the offensive" Yes, that is sound. �A pre September 10th mentality.� Ooops. �Facing a�.a��..a��..group of people�� Bush stalling for a sweet word to come up with.....and failing. �Of course we are after Saddam Hussein�I mean Osama bin Laden� Ooops, I made that mistake once, I bette correct myself quickly this time, maybe no one will notice. �A thousand extra border patrol on the Southern border.� Wait...that's national security? I have never heard of a Mexican doing a suicide bombing. �A free Iraq will help secure Israel.� What? How is that going to work? �A summit of the neighborhood countries.� ooops again. �We thought we�d whip more of them goin in� Yes, eloquence once again. �a place where people get their hand cut off�� Ohhh scary, fear, boo! �The only thing consistent about my opponents position is that he is never consistent.� Oh clever, very clever, espeically when followed with the famous Bush smirk....oh no you dint! �Hard work to love her as hard as I can� Bush referring to talking to a wife of a soldier who dies in Iraq. This one actually made me laugh out loud. �no it wasn�t worth it�..(10 seconds later)��.yah, it was worth it Jim.� Bush about the lives lost in Iraq......now that�s a fucking flip-flop. �Of course I knew Osama Bin Laden attacked us�..I knew that.� After Kerry busted him for calling Saddam the enemy that we were attacking for attacking us. �I�m not sure what you mean by �pass the global test�� Bush ripping on Kerry, and rightly so, that was a fucking dumb hole Kerry worked himself into. But the way Bush critisized him was even better, like a guy at a frat party ripping on someone in fornt of a girl in effort to get laid. �Being popular in the global community�makes no sense.� Oh nice....just....nice. �Wheh, that�s a loaded question.� When asked to rip on Kerry character. Good call George, that question was bullshit and stupid. �What you believe in your core, your heart of hearts.� I have always wondered what a heart of hearts is exactly, can anyone help me out here? �Trying to put a lease on them.� In reference to his daughters....choice words! This was another laugh-out-l;oud moment for me. �Interrupsting the �trans-shipment�� Finally, a Bushism. Yes, it is actually a word, but no one uses that word, no one except Bush, who probably thought he invented it right there. �Terrorists gunned down school children.� Yah, fear talk �So you are able to disagree in a way that is effective.� Talking about Putin...and making no sense.

And now huge-faced, squirrel-haired, "I am a ketchup God" Kerry "Hunt down and kill.." Not a good choice of words when trying to separate oneself from Bush. Leave the souther varmit talk to Bush. �Bush changed his mind, his campaign has a word for that.� Oh, snap. "Opium production in Afghanistan is up..." Kerry rips on opium, I don�t like that. �Long before the President and I get a tax cut, because that�s who gets it.� Kerry finally being a politician to step up and say out loud what we all know--that Democrat or Republican, no matter how hard they all try to be "men of the people" they are all just rich pricks. �I will hunt and kill the terrorists.� Once again, easy John, easy. �Truth of the science of stem cell research..� Thrown in at a completely random time. Wait for the next debate there John, don't blow your stem cell wad early. �I have never wilted in my life.� Yah right....one word....Nam. I bet he pissed himself like a school boy after naptime milk when he was in the shit in Nam. �The future belongs to freedom, not to fear.� Good one. That was the clencher.

All in all, I thought the debate was at least a little entertaining. Who won? I don't know. Does anyone really "win?" I think the only winner is the person who is dumb enough not to care about any of this shit. In my opinion, it seemed that Kerry was much calmer during the debate, like he came out with an agenda and got it across, using his time properly and making concise answers. Bush on the other hand seemed to be on the defensive quite a bit, struggling for words, trapping himself into dead ends, especially when he knew he was done making a point, but the little lights had not started going yet, so he didn't want to stop talking, but just kept repeating the same shit. But then again, that's Bush's style, thats why some people like him, he seems amable. And I have to give him credit for that, at least he cracked a couple jokes (even if they were at the expense of his family) and smiled a little. Kerry was about as exciting as watching a hemorrhoid retract. But alas, Bush is also a moron. The funniest part to me is that both of them have to come out there and stand next to each other and play nice, all the while ripping on each other in the most clever way possible. Sometimes they didn't even try to be clever, they just came out and said "you suck." And I love the part where one complements the other and then it has to be returned, when you know all along, they would rather just run across the stage and throw down with one another. Hey, maybe thats an idea for elections in four years! -- Citizen D