september 15, 2003

Sandal Wearing Should Be a Privilege

This Would Not Be Acceptable In Public...

So Why Should This?

I have been ok with the recent change in the wearing of a flip-flop. Good weather brings sandals and I am generally ok with that. But I am fucking tired of having to look at people's disgusting feet in sandals. Some people have the right to wear sandals, others do not. If you take care of yourself and get peticures and cut your goddamn toenails, then good for you, wear those sandals with impunity, you deserve it and they look great (maybe...). But if you have nasty feet, and you know who you are, then put some shoes on, please, for the rest of us. I do not walk around in public and show up to class or work without a T-shirt, flaunting my tubby-ass belly and making all of you look at my disgusting ass, I put a fucking shirt on. So for people who are curious, I have compiled a list of questions to ask yourself before you slip on those sandals or flip-flops: 1) Do I have all my toes?.........This one should be pretty easy, just count, if you have all 5 toes on each foot, then ok, go to number 2, if not, grab your Nikes and a pair of socks. 2) Do I have all toenails on all toes?.......Once again, pretty easy, count them, there should be one for each toe. Nothing is creepier that looking at a toe without a nail on it (except maybe #3), it is like looking at an ass with no crack. 3) Are all toenails in presentable condition?.......This one is a little harder as "presentable" is reltive. So here goes, if your toenails are all fungused out--shoes, if you are missing part of a toenail--shoes, if your toenails look like they could slice someone's Achilles tendon if you walked too close to them--shoes. 4) Are my feet in an overall presentable condition?......This is the hardest of all. So once again, here are some things to look for. If you are missing any part of your foot other than a toe (heel, ankle, skin, etc.)--shoes, if your feet look like they have leprosy and are crusting and leaving a trail of skin flakes behind you as you walk--shoes, if you have any other gross deformities that I have not experienced, then save us all--shoes. I hope this little list helps you next time you get ready to go out into public. If you know your feet are freakishly ugly, just get up five minutes earlier to give yourself some time to put on shoes. I know they are comfortable, but like I said, it is more comfortable for me to walk around without a shirt on, but I don't do it because I know better and so should you. If you answered any of the above questions with a no, then give it a shot to get your problems fixed so you can earn the right to wear those sandals if you really want to. If you said no to #1 or #2, then good luck, I don't think I or medical science can help you there. If you answered no to #3 or #4, then you have hope, just get some cash together, go to Wal-Mart, but a nail file, some clippers, some lotion, some anti-fungal spray, whatever it takes and get that shit fixed so I don't have to fucking look at it.......or if you are lazy, then just invest in a nice pair of shoes, they will probably look better anyway. -- Citizen D

So right on! I am glad someone finally said it Good point, just too harsh You are such an asshole I am ashamed - I have gross feet and wear sandals