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| august 7, 2003 | |||||||||||||
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| Citizen D becomes torn and conflicted about his opinion of the world and its inhabitants..... | |||||||||||||
| Something amazing and earth-shattering has happened in the world of cinema and I can hardly believe it myself. The new movie Gigli starring "Ben and Jen" opened last weekend. Being the sarcastic humanity-hating pessimist that I am, I assumed that it would quickly shoot to the top of the box office and become the top grossing movie of all time simply because it looked to be the worst movie of all time (confused?, see Titanic and company on this list). Despite lame trailers, horrific reviews from both critics and the public alike, I was almost sure that there were enough cinematically retarted individuals in this world that were going to rush to the theaters to see this movie. But I guess that Ben "I wanna be Cary Grant" Affleck and ass-erific J. Blow could not even pull this one off. It grossed only 3.7 million on opening weekend and the two stars each received over 12 million apiece for the film. They are going to need many opening weekends to pay that back. So what conclusions can be drawn from this happening? 1. I am asleep and having a wonderful dream. 2. The movie-going public is sending a message to Hollywood that we will not stand for celluloid feces and you cannot corral us into theatres on star power alone (one can dream). 3. This past weekend was the Worldwide Idiots Convention in Greenland and all the idiots will be back for this weekend and will rectify the situation. I am unfortunately assuming that #2 is not the case..... -- Citizen D |
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