We had a lecture on external genitalia last week and it was one of the funniest things I have ever heard, so here are some excerpts from the transcription of the lecture which was kindly done by one of my readers, we will call him JPB.
-- Citizen D
E. There was a period of time in his life when he wondered what sort of equipment
he was going to get. When he was growing up he knew what half of his genetic
contribution was going to give him (He had seen his father�s equipment). He had no idea though what his mother�s contribution might be. Then, the equipment came along and he wondered if he would ever get to use it. Fortunately, he was very, very lucky that he got to use the equipment. For him (and he hopes for the vast majority of people), it was a very pleasant experience. It should also be mentioned that it was with someone he cared a great deal about. There then came a phase where he wondered whether the equipment really worked. He was lucky enough that he got to use the equipment and find out whether he could conceive. His equipment did work and he became a father. He says that after a while you still wonder if your equipment works, because suddenly you have this teenager and you wonder what mistake you made X number of years ago.
Dr. E then apoligized for being a man and not having a good feminist perspective on the topic, so he proceeded to read the following exerpt from Natalie Alger�s Woman and Intimate Geography.
��Women think they know their clitoris pretty well. They count on it as an old
friend. They may even believe there is a goddess out there somewhere named Clitoris, the lady of perpetual ecstasy. They never bought Freud�s idea, �penis envy�. Who wants a shotgun when you can have a semi-automatic? But ask most women how big there clitoris is, or how big the average clitoris is or whether there�s any difference from one woman to the next, they probably won�t know where to begin or what units to talk about, inches, centimeters, millimeters, parking meters. Men worry that penis size matters to women. Women vigorously assure them that it doesn�t. But does clitoral size matter to a woman? A girl I�ll call Sue, now about my age, assuming that she kept her enlarged clitoris, and she may not have as I�ll discuss later; Is she super-orgasmic adult, stimulated by the slightest rub, the mistress of her pleasure no matter how inept her partner, or does mass not matter at all and is there something else about the clitoris that gives us it�s kick? The clitoris is usually spoken of as a homologue of the penis and embryologically that�s true. It arises from the same region of the fetal genital ridge as the shaft of the penis. But the comparison is not wholly accurate. A woman doesn�t pee or ejaculate through her clitoris. Of course no urine runs through it. She does nothing practical at all with her clitoris. The clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves, 8,000 nerve fibers to be precise. That�s the highest concentration of nerve fibers that is found anywhere else in the body, including the fingertips, lips, tongue and that is twice the number found in the penis (Dr.E doubts this. He feels the numbers are probably pretty comparable but the clitoris is just more compact). In a sense then, a woman�s little brain is bigger than a man�s brain. All this, and for no greater end than to subserve a woman�s pleasure. In the clitoris alone we see a sexual organ so pure of purpose that it needn�t moonlight as a secretor or an excretory device. For this reason maybe it�s best that the clitoris normally is hidden within the vulval cleft. It is in its own way a hidden joke, a divine secret, a Pandora�s box, not packed with sorrow but with laughter.�
It only gets better from here. He then continued to give some sexual advice to the students:
Dr. E's preferred origin for the word clitoris is �latch�. He is sure that many
women in the audience have come across a male that thinks he is fairly mechanically
adept. In looking for the clitoris they fumble and fumble and just don�t do a very good job. From his own personal perspective, most women would be better off, in general, if stimulation of the clitoris (whether manual or with some other device) and induction to orgasm was achieved prior to entry. But that�s just his personal preference. We should suit ourselves.
I hope that reading these snippits were half as good as sitting through the lecture because it was hilarious! But there is a downside to this whole story. The next day in class, he had to give a formal apology to the class as one of the students had complained to the head of the department about the content of his lecture. This just goes to prove that there are a whole bunch of stupid people in the world with no sense of humor, and some of them even make it as far as medical school before people like me murder them. I am currently in the process of finding out who it was that complained so I can make his or her life a living hell.
Guess you had to be there.........Citizen D