february 10, 2003
			The following is a insightful commentary from an undergraduate colleague of mine, for anonimity sake we will refer to her as Leens. So, please enjoy the following opinions from a faithful Citizen D reader. --Citizen D
	Shut Up about the Cow-Have More Sex!
				Okay, so I think its generally seen as a good thing when people are doing it.  I mean, people who are sexually active generally don't get pissed off as easily, are more relaxed, and happier.  Besides, I read in an article last week that sex can help you fight off the common cold and shit.  So why in the world do women keep telling each other-like its this great advice-that men "won't buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?"     There are a couple things wrong with this. Number one, in this situation, women are cows.  I mean, women going around calling other women cows.  Granted, the women saying this charming phrase are probably more bovine-like than the rest of us, but I think if we can avoid women/livestock comparisons we'd be doing pretty all right as a society.    This brings us to the obvious problem.  According to this scenario, women are supposed to deprive men of "milk" so they will give us a ring.  With an attitude like that, no wonder so many marriages end in divorce.  Marriage shouldn't be about women trapping men, or men trapping women-it should be the inevitable result of a shared sentiment, the ideal relationship when two people realize that something in them speaks to each other.  It should not be a contract entered into so a guy can get some milk and so a woman can get a nice piece of jewelry.     Besides, this ignores the main situation.  Milk isn't something that one person gets.  Both people get milk, and if you're doing it right that can be pretty cool.  So shut up about the cow and have more sex.
			I could not agree more, everyone should just shut up and have more sex. I remember long ago when Leens and I attended college together and she was having problems with sexual exploration. After a long period of just listening to what she had to say, I came to a glorious conclusion. I recommended that she and her current boyfriend "do it in the butt." And needless to say, she has never looked back. --Citizen D