That being said, lets continue. First of all let me say that I saw her on the Superbowl. What the fuck was she wearing? I do not care how hot she is, once I am done with this you will hate her like I now do. After being forced to watch her entire performance by the horny men that I call my friends, I vowed to them and the world that if she was not lip-synching that performance I would eat a mile of my own shit.
The major reason why she is most hated bitch of the week has to do with the above picture (published without consent from RS...fuck em). While I am a subscriber to Rolling Stone, sometimes I wonder why. Because after you get through reading anything good in the magazine, you are forced to read the other crap because once it makes its way to the bathroom, its the only thing to read for two weeks. So today I started in on the Shania Twain article but could not finish before I had to stop and write this immediately. First the cover is atrocious...yes, yes, she's hot, put it out of your mind for awhile and look at the picture. What kind of music does she play? Its something between pop and country, yet she is dressed totally punk and she is in CBGBs in the magazine. What the fuck is that? She has no punk in her at all and I will convince you of that by the end of this diatribe. I guess since Avril Lavigne is pulling off the punk image while playing pop music and outselling Shania, her publicist figured she better do the same. Anyway, I digress.
Here are the big kickers in the article. First of all, she released two versions of her new album...in the same fucking case! You have to buy both of them! She calls one the "green" mix which is the country versions of the songs and the other one is the "red" mix which is the pop one. As if this isn't enough, in Europe and Asia, there is also a "blue" mix released which is an Indian version with sitars and shit! How fucked up is that? If that is not a ploy to sell records I don't know what is. I mean for fuck sake, she is married to a album producer nicknamed "Mutt" who ironically looks like an ugly dog, so who's idea do you think the multiple color mixes was?
Now as any good Junior High English teacher told you, save the best point for last and so here is the clencher. The following are quotes from the article:
"I think I'm capable of doing a lot more-- I don't even think what I do is my best. But I don't want to make light of it, because the fans like it. I do music that I think can do best on a commercial level."
"I don't have confidence in what I think is my best. Maybe my artistic best wouldn't be considered valid commercially."
If I was doing the interview for RS, I would have pulled out a gun and shot her at this point. She fully admits that she has no interest in doing what she considers as her artistic best in music because it wouldn't sell! This convinces me that not only does she not have taste or integrity, but she also lacks a soul. And we think our biggest problems are Saddam and Osama, my new axis of terror centers around Shania Twain.
--Citizen D