Since I'm obsessed with movies, how about some quotes that help explain why. Here are some great one-liners, speeches, and conversations from movies I love--classic, and not-so-classic. Keep in mind that these are movies great and God-awful...oh yes, and that musicals and Lord of the Rings are on other pages. |
| "One day, all of this will be yours!" "What the curtains?" "NO! Not the curtains! The Kingdom!" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail "Your focus determines your reality." �Star Wars: The Phantom Menace "It's ok, I wouldn't remember me either." �American Beauty �How much for your children? Sell me your children. How much for the women? I want your women.��Jake Blues�The Blues Brothers �I hate Illinois Nazis.��Jake Blues�The Blues Brothers �It�s 106 miles to Chicago. We�ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it�s dark, and we�re wearing black. Hit it.� �Elwood Blues�The Blues Brothers �I said it before and I�ll say it again. Life moves pretty fast. You don�t stop and look around, you could miss it.� �Ferris Beuler�Ferris Beuler�s Day Off �Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism - he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles - I just believe in me". A good point there. Of course, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus - I'd still have to bum rides off of people.� �Ferris Beuler�Ferris Beuler�s Day Off �I�m mad as hell, and I�m not going to take it anymore!� �Howard�Network �If you want truth, go to God. Go to your guru. Go to yourself because that�s the only place you�ll ever find any real truth.��Howard�Network � �So far, over 900 fucking phone calls complaining about the foul language.� �Shit.���Network � �Bullshit is all the reasons we give for living, and, if we can�t think up any reasons of our own, we always have the God bullshit.� �Holy Mary Mother of Christ.���Howard and a secretary�Network � �We don�t know why the hell we�re going through all this pointless pain, humiliation and decay, so there better be someone somewhere who does know. That�s the God bullshit.� �He�s saying life is bullshit, and it is, so what�re you screaming about?�� �Howard and Max�Network �Well, if there�s anybody out there who can look around this demented slaughterhouse of a world we live in and tell me man is a noble creature, that man is full of bullshit.��Howard�Network �You need me badly. I�m your last contact with human reality. I love you and that painful, decaying love is the only thing between you and the shrieking nothingness you live the rest of the day.��Max�Network �Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you.� �Dumbeldore�Harry Potter and the Sorcerer�s Stone � �Who glued these quarters down?� �I did.� �What the hell for, man?� �I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.�� �Warren and AJ�Empire Records � �Why don't you take these CD's and shove them up your ass?� �Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.�� �Warren and Lucas�Empire Records �Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear!��Lucas � �What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?� �What's with today today?���AJ and Lucas�Empire Records �Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.��Gina�Empire Records �Damn the man! Save the Empire!��Mark�Empire Records �We bury our dead at dawn!��Van Zan�Reign of Fire �You take out the heart, you bring down the beast!� �Van Zan�Reign of Fire �You know it's all fun and games until somebody gets shot in the leg.� �A.J.�Armageddon �Get off... the nuclear... warhead.��Colonel William Sharp�Armageddon � �This is great. We just happen to run into the Grand Canyon on the asteroid.� �I told you, you took the wrong way, the wrong road.� �What? What road? Do you see any roads here?�� �A.J. and Lev�Armageddon � �Ok, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be like up there?� �200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that.� �Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable.�� �Oscar and Truman�Armageddon �Do you have a soul mate?� �Define that.� �Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.� �Sure, I got plenty.� �Well, name them.� �Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner...� �Well that's great. They're all dead.� �Not to me, they're not.� �You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.� �Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.�� �Sean and Will�Good Will Hunting �You're legally allowed to drink now so we figured the best thing for you was a car.��Billy�Good Will Hunting �Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat. Now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you.� �Chuckie�Good Will Hunting �So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall.��Chuckie�Good Will Hunting �You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for a buck fifty in late charges at the public library.��Will�Good Will Hunting �Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.� �Will�Good Will Hunting �What's with everyone saying that I owe it to myself?� �No.. fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me cause tomorrow I'll wake up and I'll be 50 and still be doing this shit, and that's alright but you on the other hand, you have something none of us have cause hanging around here is just a fucking waste of your time cause I'd do anything to have what you got, so will the rest of these fucking guys and it will be an insult to watch if you're still here in 20 years!��Will and Chuckie �I do have a test today. That wasn't bull shit. It's on European socialism. I mean really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car.� �Ferris Beuler�Ferris Beuler�s Day Off �Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.��Brian�Breakfast Club �Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks.��Armand�The Birdcage �[Quoting Walt Whitman] I SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP OVER THE ROOFTOPS OF THE WORLD.��Mr. Keating�Dead Poets Society �[answering phone] Welton Academy, hello. Yes he is, hold on. Mr. Nolan, it's for you. It's God. He says we should have girls at Welton.�� �Phone call from God.... Now if it had been collect, it would have been daring!� �Dalton and Mr. Keating�Dead Poets Society �I'm drowning in assholes.��Igby�Igby Goes Down D.H.: I believe, umm, that certain people in life are meant to fall by the wayside; to serve as warnings to the rest of us; signs posts along the way. Igby: To where? D.H.: Success. Oliver: Our father would be a 'slippery when schizophrenic' sign, for instance... [pause] Oliver: ...along the highway of life. �Igby Goes Down � �Oliver is majoring in neo-fascism at Columbia.� �Economics.� �Semantics.���Igby and Oliver�Igby Goes Down � �You call your mother "Mimi"?� � �Heinous One� is a bit cumbersome.�� �Sookie and Igby�Igby Goes Down �If heaven is such a wonderful place then how come being crucified is such a big fucking sacrifice?��Igby�Igby Goes Down �Oh man. Mark, man, you sure do play a mean guitar. It�s too bad you must die!��Gwar�Empire Records � �Whats yellow and writes?� �A ballpoint banana.� �Exactly!!���Batman and Robin�Batman �Robin, hand me my can of shark repellent spray!��Batman �It�s a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school.� �Ferris Beuler �Remember... to tell them... it was only a bloody game.��Milo�Sleuth � �I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps!� �He was drafted.���Hotlips and Father Mulcahy�MASH (the movie) �Colonel, fair's fair... if I punch Hawkeye and nail Hot-Lips, can I go home too?��Duke�MASH (the movie) �It's the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...��The Devil�Bedazzled �Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.� �Ted�Bill and Ted�s Excellent Adventure �Bob "Genghis" Khan. So-crates Johnson. Dennis Frood. And uh, uh...Abraham Lincoln.��Ted�Bill and Ted�s Excellent Adventure � �You cheated.� �.. Pirate!���Will Turner and Jack Sparrow�Pirates of the Caribbean �Yes�but why is the rum gone?��Jack Sparrow�Pirates of the Caribbean � �Here's to failure.� �To Failure!� �Why, Thank you! You're very kind!� �Max, Leo, and a drunk�The Producers � �Actors are not animals! They're human beings!� �They are? Have you ever eaten with one?�� �Leo and Max�The Producers � �Let's assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man.� �Assume away.���Leo and Max�The Producers �My simple child reaction of what you did is that you are not funny. Funnier than you is even Stuart Schlossmen, who is my friend, and is eleven, and puts walnuts in his mouth and makes noises. What is not funny is to call us names, and what is mostly not funny is how sad you are, and I'd feel sorry for you if it wasn't for how dull you are. And those are the worst-tasting potato chips that I've ever tasted. And that's my opinion from the blue, blue sky.��Nick Burns�A Thousand Clowns Nick: I can imitate the voice of Alexander Hamilton. I do Alexander Hamilton, and Murray does a terrific Thomas Jefferson. We got the voices just right. (Speaking in normal tones) Murray: Hi, Alex, how're you doing? Nick: Fine. Say, Tom, you should have been in Congress today. Leo: This is ridiculous! You can't do an imitation of Alexander Hamilton, nobody knows what he sounds like. Nick: That's the funny part. Murray: You missed the funny part, Leo. ---A Thousand Clowns �If things aren't funny then they're exactly what they are; and then they're like a long dental appointment.��Murray Burns�A Thousand Clowns � �That�s why I loosed my wolf among you sheep.� �Growl���Various bad guys in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (LXG) �Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in. Next to soccer.��Loki�Dogma "First kisses have to be original? Come on, it's a kiss, not a freakin' t-shirt!"�Porn �N� Chicken �Oh, well, I'm just going to freak right out.� �Agent Sands�Once Upon a Time in Mexico �You want me to shoot the cook.� �No. I'll shoot the cook. My car is out back, anyway.� �El Mariachi and Agent Sands�Once Upon a Time in Mexico "Aristotle was not Belgian. The principle of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself.' And the London Underground is not a political movement!��Jamie Lee Curtis�A Fish Called Wanda Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more that your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist? Neo: Because I choose to. ----Matrix Revolutions �Why�d it have to be follow the spiders? Why couldn�t it have been follow the butterflies?"�Ron�Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one. Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Otter: Germans? Boon: Forget it, he's rolling. Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...[long long pause]�the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns] What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer... Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. Bluto: And we're just the guys to do it. D-Day: Let's do it. Bluto: LET'S DO IT! ---Animal House [Flounder has just fired a blank cartridge near Neidermeyer's horse, and the horse has dropped dead.] Bluto: Holy shit! D-Day: There were blanks in that gun! Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him! Bluto: Holy shit! D-Day: [checks the gun.] There WERE blanks in that gun! Flounder: Maybe he had a heart attack. Bluto: Holy shit! ---Animal House Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure! Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time! Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law. Boon: I thought you were pre-med. Otter: What's the difference? [Addressing the room] Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen! [Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner.] �Animal House � �You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.� �You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.�� �Inigo and the Man in Black�Princess Bride �In a thousand years, there will be no men and women, just wankers, and that's fine by me.��Mark "Rent-boy" Renton�Trainspotting �Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off - my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shit about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud - he never hurt anybody. So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.� �Renton�Trainspotting �It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!��Renton�Trainspotting �For a vegetarian, Rents, you're a fuckin' EVIL shot!� �Sick Boy�Trainspotting �Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.��Serendipity�Dogma �Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! There you go again trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt about it with his present girlfriend? You want someone to blame for today? Blame yourself. "I'm not even supposed to be here today." You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here today. You're here under your own volition. You like to think that the weight of the world rests on Dante's shoulders. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Christ, you overcompensate for what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic and important than it really is. You work at a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work at a shitty video store, badly as well. That guy Jay's got it right, man. He's got no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to think that we're so much more advanced than the people that come in here everyday to buy paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?��Randal�Clerks �All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?��Dante�Clerks � �Gary, there are motorcycles in my house!� �There are killer mutants in your house, Wyatt.�� �Wyatt and Gary�Weird Science �I'm as Jewish as fuckin' Tevye!��Walter�The Big Lebowski � �Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!� �What do you need that for, Dude?�� �The Dude and Donny�The Big Lebowski �Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.��Walter�The Big Lebowski � �Am I wrong?� �No...� �Am I wrong?� �You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole!�� �Walter and the Dude�The Big Lebowski The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh... Donny: I am the walrus. The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say... Donny: I am the walrus. Walter: That fucking bitch... Donny: I am the walrus. Walter: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Illanich Uleninov! --The Big Lebowski �Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.��The Dude�The Big Lebowski � �Hey Albert? Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.� �Thanks. Hey, you too.���Andrew and Albert�Garden State � �Don't mention knights around Mark, it's a sore subject.� �I'm going to kill that motherfucker.� �Pun intended?���Andrew and Mark�Garden State �Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole.��Mark�Garden State �I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.� �Lester Burnham�American Beauty |
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