Super Heroes In Training Issue #1 "Campus Tour" By David Caffee Rated I Immature Readers Only Page One Open on a scene with a little alien guy walking through an alien city. He looks up to the sky and points in panic. Next we see an unbelievably massive spherical object barreling through the atmosphere toward the planet. Next we see panic in the streets. Then a shot of the object again, have some scale in this picture to show how big this thing is (several cities should appear in its shadow.) Page Two and Page Three We see nothing but utter devastation and death. This is two-page splat dominated by the massive object and surrounded by smoke and ruins it has created. In this shot we should be able to see some more of the object and for the first time see that it is not completely spherical (it's the heel of a foot). Show a "boom" or "thud." Page Four First is a small shot of the planet with a giant foot resting on its surface. The second panel should take up most of the page and show the being known as the Viewer sitting on an inter-stellar sized couch. He has a beer in one hand and a remote control in the other. He is using the planet for a footstool. Across from him is a giant flat screen TV. Viewer: I am the Viewer. I am the omnipresent being that monitors everything that is happening in every dimension across the multi-verse. Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "reality TV". Anyway, only my constant vigilance keeps the cosmic order from slipping into Chaos. As you can imagine I'm pretty bored most of the time. I mean most of this stuff really sucks. That's why I tend to focus more on the really cool stuff, you know like superheroes and stuff. Show a close up of the Viewer's screen. On the screen is some random image of a battle or monsters fighting. It clicks off. The next shot should be a large panel of the screen showing a college campus with a sign that says, "Welcome Freshmen." Narration: Of course it's not just the big time super heroes that I watch. You can get a lot more enjoyment just watching the trials and tribulations of wannabe champions of truth and justice like we have here. This school is where young super-beings go to learn how to use their powers for good and change the world. Ain't that some shit? But the cool part is these kids don't realize their super hero training will present them with a challenge that they never imagined.... campus life! This one oughta be good. Page Five Show a small group of students lined up at a folding table with college staff on the other side. The students are a mix of regular looking people and super freaks. The three main characters should be there. Narration: The North Eastern Academy of Super Hero Training is a progressive institution of learning that combines classroom teaching with real world experience to create a fully rounded view of the superhero dynamic... Next show a shot of a woman handing out a pamphlet. Woman: ...we seek to explore every aspect of what it means to be a super hero including the responsibility of power, moral dilemmas, activism and community service. This is offered in addition to traditional subjects like mastering the use of your powers and combat training. Show Adam standing in line, he is taking one of the woman's pamphlets. Adam: This line sure is moving quickly..... Next we have a shot of a man at the table in front of Adam. He is writing with one hand and is using the other to touch the side of his own head. Adam: Excuse me, are you my Faculty Advisor? Is this where I sign up for classes? Man: Shhhhh...Adam here is your class schedule and dormitory assignment. The Branding Workshop was full so I put you in Striking Fear in the Hearts of Evildoers, your second choice. Freshman orientation will be in the amphitheater at 4:00pm. Next we see the man hand the papers to Adam. Adam: Ummm.... excuse me...but...how..? Man: Move along please, a student guide will show you to your dorm. Page Six Show the doors opening and Time-Guy steps through. Voice off-panel: Welcome to freshman registration...if you'll just step over here we can.... Next show a close-up of his face. Next show him tapping the buttons on one of his gauntlets. Computer Voice: Time displacement field activated. Next show the Time-Guy being surrounded by glowing energy. Next panel he disappears. Next we see another glowing outline. Page Seven Page opens with a shot of a now older Time-Guy (his hair is longer and he has a goatee) wearing a cap and gown and holding a diploma in his hand. Time Guy: Alright! Class of '09 kicks ass! I never thought I'd make it this far. These have been the best four years of my life. Show the Time-Guy hugging a bewildered Adam. Time-Guy: Man you were always there for me Adam. If you ever need anything you just let me know. Show him walking off, he turns and points at a female student. Time-Guy: I wish I never met you Bitch! You ruined my life! I can't believe I ever fell in love with you. Girl: What are you talking about? Time-Guy: Just forget about it okay. I'm tired of arguing with you. Adam: There are some weird people at this school.... Page Eight Show the Beeper Guy run through a door and stop. BG: Anyone being housed in Dorm A-South over here! Let's get this show on the road. Come on people I hate to be rude but I ain't got all day. Tour of the campus, A-South over here. Show Adam looking down at his paper work. Next panel we see him walking over to the Beeper Guy. Adam: Excuse me but I was wondering... (sound effect): beep-beep BG: 'Scuse me one second. Beeper Guy zooms away, leaving nothing but a blur. Then we see Jenny and Hellfire walk up to Adam. Hellfire: Hey you guys in A-South too? Adam: Uhh...yeah.... Jenny: Sure am. Page Nine Hellfire: I guess we'll all be hanging out together, my name's Hellfi- Beeper Guy zooms back to the trio. BG: Ready to go? Let's go see the campus I'll show you around maybe introduce you to a few people. I know everybody around here I get around a lot. Anyway lots of great parties around here, 'specially at the start of a new semester. So where you guys from? Think of a good code-name yet? Well, follow me.... They start walking away with Beeper Guy in the lead. He turns suddenly and looks back at the trio of freshmen. BG: By the way, you guys cool? Adam: Uh...I guess I'm pretty cool. Hellfire: Yeah I'm down. BG: Cool. So what are you thinking about for a major? I've changed mine about seven or eight times since I've been here. You know how it is when you don't know what you want out of life. You know I just can't see myself beating up muggers in alleys the rest of my life. I mean I could drop out and become a cop if I wanted to do that. But ya know I just don't know if I got what it takes for the major league stuff, ya know all that limelight and celebrity. Plus that's some pretty heavy stuff saving the world all the time, I mean I don't know if I want that kind of responsibility plus the hours are crazy.... Page Ten Show the four of them walking across campus. Show another student in the distance. Student: Hey!! What's up? Adam: Listen, I was wondering... BG: One second... Beeper Guy zooms over to him. Student: Hey man, whachagot? BG: Whachaneed? Adam: I wonder what that's about? BG: (zooms back, stuffing a wad of money into his shirt) So what was your question? Sound Effect: beep-beep Show a few shots of BG looking at his pagers super fast. He is a blur of arms and heads. The whole time we see the "beep-beep" coming off of him. Page Eleven Open on a shot of BG's ass. The sound effect is "brrrrm brrrrrrm." BG: Oh yeah, I left that one on vibrate. (reaches for it futilely. Next we see him stick his ass out) Can one of you guys tell me what number that is? Jenny: Umm let me think...no. Adam: That's alright.. Hellfire: (leans in) It just says 420-911 bro, somebody must want to see you in a hurry. BG: Well looks like we're going to have to cut this tour off short. BG becomes a blur of pointing fingers. BG: That's your dorm over there, that's the amphitheater, don't forget orientation at four, that's the Student Union that's Kingsman Hall, that's the Science Building, Administration is over there, that's the lake, that's the caf and the dance space is upstairs. Page Twelve Adam: Did you guys get any of that? BG: (looks off) By the way, its never dry around here so if you need anything just give me a call, here's my number. He hands Hellfire a card. Adam: What're you talking about? He turns to see that the Beeper Guy is already gone and has left only a dust cloud and a few stray bills. Adam: That was um...weird. We're here at a school for young superheroes and the guy they send to give the tour is a sonic fast dope dealer. Who's running this place? Hellfire: Pretty cool, huh? Jenny: I'm sure we'll see weirder, this is a super-school after all. I'm sure there are some real freaks around here. Hi guys my name's Jenny, I'm here to study science. Page Thirteen Hellfire: I'm Hellfire, I have all the powers of Darkness at my disposal. Adam: Adam, I'm a clone of Adam Powers, who was the hero PowerStar during the 1960's. Jenny: Oh, well...that's pretty normal...I guess. Adam: My father-twin was the first person to assume that identity and fight for justice. I was raised in a secret underground lab where I was trained to replace him. Hellfire: That's crazy, my roommate from my old school was named Adam. Let's hope you turn out better than he did. Show a panel of Hellfire sitting next to a He-Man rip-off on a couch, both drinking beers. (Wavy panel outlines indicate that this a flashback) He-man: Hi, my name's Adam. Hellfire: Where ya from? He-man: A place called Eternia. Hellfire: Where's that? He-man: Pennsylvania. Hellfire: You always walk around in your underwear all day? He-man: Pretty much. Page Fourteen Hellfire: Worst part was he had a cat, I hate cats. Voice off-panel: Waddup ya'll? Whachu got on my 40? Show Flashback perched on the back of a park bench, balancing perfectly on his perch. Flashback: Looks like your tour guide bounced on ya. It's cool though, I can help you out, I know everything about this school. Been here for years. Call me Flashback, everybody else does. Jenny: Why's that? Show Flashback staring at his hand. Flashback: Whoa.... Show a panel of a hand with "tracers" coming off of it. Flashback: (looks back at Jenny) I'm sorry, what were you saying? Jenny: Not important. Flashback: So anyway, were you kids need to go? Adam: I guess were still on our way to our dormitory, building A-south. Page Fifteen Flashback: No problem kids, just follow me. (Jumps off the bench) Up and away!! We see him crash to the ground. He instantly jumps back to his feet. Flashback: What am I thinking? I can't fly. Duh. Anyway, follow me. He bounces off. Adam: Why do I have the feeling that this tour just went from bad to worse? Jenny: You must be psychic. Adam: Actually no I'm not. I have all the same powers as the original... Jenny: That was a joke genius. Page Sixteen Show Flashback jump up, grab a tree branch and pull himself up. He disappears into the foliage. Jenny: What is this guy on? Hellfire: Looks like....everything. Next see wee his head pop out (his is hanging upside down.) Flashback: (pointing) First things first, there's something you've got to look out for around here. Page Seventeen We see a bunch of spandex-and-primary-colors type characters gathering around a fountain. One of them is a preppie dressed guy carrying a backpack, flying in the background. Flashback: That's the neon green spandex crowd. Don't go there. Spouting off hokey catch phrases all the time; they act like a bunch of jackasses. Just look at the way they dress. Ever hear the phrase "secret identity?" Too damn full of themselves, they're in it for the hype. Adam: That's just a bunch of people who want to be superheroes, like us. I mean those are hero costumes. What else are they supposed to wear? Flashback: Anything but that. This ain't 1955 dawg. Besides ain't an ounce of real hero in any of those biatches. They just front'n dawg. Jenny: But a hero's costume should say something about them, right? I mean you obviously have underwater powers. Flashback: Why you say that? Jenny: You're wearing a Speedo and goggles. Flashback: Yeah....? Page Eighteen Flashback jumps down from the tree. Flashback: So anyway, let's continue the tour y'all. The four characters pass in front of a building. It's engraving says "Kingsman Hall" We see a variety of Tony Stark/Bruce Wayne/James Bond types. Flashback: This is the rich boy hangout. You know how kids'll say to their parents that they want to be superheroes when they grow up. Most dads'll tell you to either go get hit by a toxic waste truck or find a job that pays. These guys' parents paid for martial arts lessons, personal science tutors, gadgets, labs, the whole works. We see a closer view of some of the students including a background shot of a guy flying on a jet glider of something. Flashback: Amazing stuff money. Enough cash'll buy you anything these days. We see Flashback look off to the side. Flashback: Oh-uh, trouble. Duck y'all. Or turn invisible like me. He squinches down and puts his fingers to the sides of his head. Page Nineteen Show a large panel of some of the members of "PowerHouse Alpha." walking towards them. Flashback: That's PowerHouse Alpha( kind of an unofficial fraternity around here. They only care about proving how powerful they are. Only want to hang out with the strongest and most "mighty" beings on campus. They spend all day learning how to rip people's heads off and pushing everybody else around. They've hurt people really bad before in some of their "initiations". The leader of PowerHouse Alpha, Force, walks past Flashback and comes up to the three main characters. Force: Well look here, what's going on fish? Hey guys looks like we've got some newbies Adam: Hi my name's Adam... Force: Like I give a rat's ass! And nobody else will either if you ain't major league like us. We don't have time for weaklings and losers. PowerHouse Alpha( is a name you'd better remember if you want to get noticed on this campus. I mean we're it. Looks at them all. Force: So how 'bout it meat, you want to get "initiated?" What's your threat level anyway? Look like a bunch of lightweights to me. Page Twenty Adam: I'm a clone of Adam Powers, the original PowerStar and I have all of his abilities. Hellfire: I have all of the powers of Darkness at my command. Jenny: I got a 1500 on my SAT's. Force: Not bad. Well if any of you little pussies thinks you got what it takes to run with the big boys just stop by A-North for a little "try-out." He pushes past all of them. Force: Let's go to the Ninja Coffeehouse guys, I'm hungry. The rest of the frat walks by. Frat Guy: Losers. Jenny: What a bunch of jerks. Page Twenty-One Show the PowerHouse Alpha guys grabbing up a black-leather-trenchcoat kind of character. Force: What's up Mr. Bad Ass Anti-Hero? No glib ass comeback today? Anti-Hero: Screw yourself. Frat Guy: That's cute punk. Almost as cute as your little outfit. You trying to look like some faggot rock star? They knock him down. Force: Some badass, where's your brooding attitude now, huh? Trendy bitch. You gonna save yourself with hard looks and little sissy weapons? They walk off. Anti-Hero: (tears in his eyes) Your gonna pay for that someday. I just need a big enough gun. Page Twenty-Two Flashback: Damn, I thought they'd never leave. Being invisible that long takes a lot of effort. Adam: Do those guys always act like that? Flashback: That's pretty much it. They like to party, take turns hitting each other and push less powerful kids around. Adam: But that's not the way super heroes should behave. Having powers means that you should use them to make the world a better place and set an example to others. Flashback: Hey kid, pay attention okay? Those freaks aren't superheroes, they're a bunch of meatheads who can't wait to level their first city block. Jenny: You might not get this Adam, being raised in an underground lab and all, but not everyone who ends up with powers automatically throws on a blue cape and becomes a costumed vigilante. A lot of super humans live regular lives and a lot of so-called superheroes are just in it for the power and fame, not to help people. Adam: But everyone should take civic responsibility seriously. We all have a duty to help those around us and make the world better for the next generation. I mean, our powers give us more ability to do that and that means we have more responsibility. Especially the responsibility to prevent others from misusing their powers for selfish ends. Flashback: Oh...so you're one of those types. Page Twenty-Three Adam: What types? Flashback: (pointing) Those types. We see a group of students, many of them in full costume, picketing outside of the Administration Building. They have a variety of signs. Next see see a closer view and we can see that the signs read, "TEACH PEACE" "SAVE THE PLANET" "END RACISISM" "FREE POLITICAL PRISONERS" "KIDS, BRUSH YOUR TEETH" "SAY NO TO DRUGS" "SAY YES TO DRUGS" "ABSTINENCE" Page Twenty-Four Flashback: The activist-heroes who donate their free time to speak out for lost causes. They use every chance they get to mouth of to the news or somebody about how we have to "Save the oceans" or "Free the mutants" These guys are enough to drive a man to drink. Speaking of which what's up with that 40 you promised me? Adam: Forty what? Flashback: You said you'd buy my beer if I showed you around the place. Adam: No I didn't. Besides I can't buy you a beer I'm only eighteen. Hellfire: Hot babes 5 o'clock. Show a small group of comely super heroine types walking down the sidewalk. Flashback: Yeah that's the clique I call the "super-models." Bunch of made-up super-hotties that're here for the outfits more than anything else. Show a close-up of Princess Pamela. Flashback: That's their leader, Princess Pamela. Of course to me she's a queen; Drama Queen, Queen Bitch, you name it. Page Twenty-Five The "Bad Girls" swing and fly into the scene. Donna Matrix: What're you starring at? You think those prima donnas would give any of you the time of day? Flashback: Ah kids let me take a moment to introduce you to the "underground" set here at school. Girls these are some freshman I've been showing around. Donna Matrix: Pity for them. Flashback: Guys, this is Donna Matrix, Headmistress and the Emasculator. Show Hellfire get right up on Emasculator's crotch. Hellfire: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! Emasculator: That is the strap-on of power. It is the source of my machismo. Hellfire: What the hell do you do with a two-foot rubber dick strapped to your crotch? Emasculator: What do you do with yours? Hellfire: I sure as hell don't run around with it out for the world to see. Can't you cover that up with something? Page Twenty-Six Flashback: Listen Donna if you happen be in the market for a new boy-toy I make a great sex slave. You ever in the mood to tie someone up and test out your bag of tricks I could be... Donna Matrix: Please. I wouldn't dirty my lash on you. On the other hand... She caresses Adam. Donna Matrix: ...this pretty man looks like he's just begging to be broken in. Adam: Umm...(gulp)...I don't see myself in that kind of relationship right now...uhh... Donna Matrix: Such a shame.... Mmm.... I'll be around if you ever decide to try something wild. She walks away. Adam: Can you please just show us the way to our dorm now? Flashback: I don't know...about that 4-0 you promised me? Hellfire: Is that all it'll take to shut you up? A buck and a quarter for a forty? Flashback: I'm insulted...I drink the two-dollar forties. Page Twenty-Seven Hellfire: Fine He snaps his fingers and a puff of smoke appears. From the smoke appear two tiny flying imps carrying a forty between them. The imps fly the bottle over to Flashback. Flashback: Gracias. (pointing) A-South is right over there. Show a shot of the dormitory building. It sits by the shore of a large lake. Flashback: You're lucky to get housed in there, it's usually reserved for upper classmen. You've got a great view of Lakeman Lake, home of the mysterious Lakeman. Be careful around him, he gets in some foul moods. Adam: Okay, tell us why. Show a panel of Lakeman under the water. Flashback: You see Lakeman is one of the most powerful beings on campus. He has one problem though, he can't breathe air and he's mystically bound to the lake where he was born. Page Twenty-Eight We see a shot of the PowerHouse Alpha( boys walking by the lakeshore. One is taking a piss off of a diving board; another is tossing a beer can into the water. Flashback: Since he can't even leave the water even for a moment a lot of people like to mess with him. Especially kids that fail his swim class. As long as they stay out of the water he can't get back at any of them and it really pisses him off. Show a panel of Lakeman under the water. He is holding a crushed beer can with one hand and is holding up the middle finger on his other. Voice off-panel: Like that don'tcha fish boy? Adam: That's really messed up. Jenny: Listen guys, since we know were the building is now and we're all going the same way maybe you guys could help me get my stuff out of the van? Hellfire: What kind of stuff? Jenny: Just my computer and a few other things. Adam: Doesn't sound too bad. Page Twenty-Nine Show a large panel of Adam and Hellfire carrying a huge metal cylinder between them. It has the words "Fragile" and Handle with Care" on it. Jenny is walking behind them and Flashback is crouched on top drinking his forty. Hellfire: Jesus, I've thrown pick-ups at people that weren't this heavy. Adam: What kind of computer is this again? Flashback: Hold it steady dawg, I almost spilled some. Next we see the three of them walking down the hall together. Adam and Hellfire are wiping their brows. Adam: I can't believe we fit that in your dorm room. Hellfire: What's our room number again? Adam: 211. Hellfire: Cool. Show Flashback sitting in the common room reading a newspaper. In the background show Smokey lighting a bong with heat-vision. Flashback: Glad I could be of service guys, I'll come around later and take you to freshman orientation. Page Thirty Show a door cracked open. The sign on the door should read "A R M" with letters in between we can't make out. A long flexible arm is coming out of the door will a dollar bill. Next we see the arm reeling back in the door with a bottle of pop. The door closes. Adam: What was that? Flashback: They call him the Amazing Rubber Man. He has the ability to flex and stretch his body into any shape imaginable. Hellfire: He must be popular with the ladies. Flashback: He was at one point. You don't see him around any more; he just stays in his room all day. Hellfire: Why's that? Flashback: I'll spare you the obscene details but let's just say he no longer feels the need to seek out female companionship. Hellfire: That's nasty, the dude smokes his own sausage. Page Thirty-One Next show a scene of Hellfire on a couch playing video games with one of his little imps. Narration: Hours later. Hellfire: Hey no fair. How'd you beat me? Imp: hehehe Hellfire snaps his fingers and the imp disappears in a puff of smoke. Next show Adam standing over top of an open suitcase. Voice off-panel: Can I come in? Adam: Sure. Jenny: Just thought I'd come by and see if you needed help unpacking. Hellfire: I had the imps do it. Adam: I just started but I've only got this one case, it shouldn't take long. Page Thirty-Two Jenny: One case? That's all you brought? You're kidding right? Adam: No this is it, everything I need. Jenny: What's in there? Adam: PowerStar's old costume, his original tool belt, some old training manuals, some of his old clothes, that kind of stuff. Jenny: Don't you have anything that's really yours? Adam: What do you mean? Jenny: Adam, you were created in a government lab by someone who raised to take the place of another person. Doesn't that strike you as being unfair? I mean, did anyone ever ask you what you wanted to do with your life? We see Adam with a bewildered look on his face. It is obvious that he never even considered what he wanted to do. Jenny: What do you want to do Adam? You life is your own, you can't be forced to live someone else's. We see Adam looking out the window, being introspective. Adam: You know, I've never even thought about what I want. I knew that going to college was going to expand my horizons. I never expected this. Everybody wants me to follow in my clone-father's footsteps. I just assumed that they knew best.... Blurb at bottom: Next Issue: Adam gets brooding and introspective (do we smell an anti-hero?) We will find out the origin of Hellfire. Jenny reveals her deepest secret (no she's not a lesbian.) You'll get a taste of what's cooking at the caf. And finally we'll confront the horror that is...Freshman Orientation. Super Heroes in Training It's the @#%$!