Dear God,

Are you there? Knock Knock!! I have knocked on Your door many times but You have not answered. I am getting impatient, angry, frustrated and awfully sad. I have this dark cloud hovering over me and no matter how much I try, this dark cloud does not go away. And I am in awful pain, feeling so sad and no one is there to console me.

Lord, You have given my family and I many crosses to carry. I have been trying to carry my cross with You but Lord, this time it is far too heavy. This cross is extraordinarily too heavy for my family to carry. We are feeling the strain. We are lost and we feel so helpless. I feel as if we have lost our footing on a cliff and are struggling to climb back up. Lord, will You just help us?

For two years, we have been praying to You for a very urgent request. Along the way, we gave up hope but we never stopped praying. And when we regained our hope, we lost it again. When you gave us crosses time and again, we had no choice but to carry them on our backs. And for the many prayers said, Lord, You did not make these burdens go away! Where are you, God? My family has been knocking on your door so many times but You did not answer it. Lord, I feel so tired and frustrated. I am angry with You! I am soooooo upset with You ! Lord, are You there?

Lord, I am very sad. I know my family is very sad too. Cos' everyone is blowing up at one another. Our tempers are extraordinarily short. Even I was so surprised at how short my temper can be. I yelled at my parents and I am so sorry for hurting them. I am just so sad that I am coming home to a family laden with so many worries. I just can't bring myself to go out and have fun. I just rather stay at home and … just stay there.

Lord, I know I have to turn to You NOW, especially when the going is really tough. Especially when Lord, I cannot move now cos' I just feel too tired to drag my burdens along with me. But the thing is, I am so sad that I cannot pray. I don't feel like praying to You cos' I am still mad at You. And the worst thing is, I know You exist.

Yes Lord, I am sure You have Your reasons for not giving my family the answer to our prayers now. But surely, nearly 2 years of prayers by my family is enough for You to take pity on us ? I am really scared, Lord. If You do not answer our prayers on time, I really do not know where my family can go. When my friends talk about what they are going to do after they graduate, I do not see my future cos' I do not see the present now. Lord, I am really so scared and the worst thing is, no one is there for me.

I thought You would be here for me cos' every time I am in deep distress, I would turn to You and You would fill me with Your presence. But Lord, this time, I don't feel You. Please don't leave me, Lord ! Please… You are the only one who understands me. You are the only one I can turn to. You are the only one I can share my innermost feelings with. If You are gone, who can I turn to ?

Lord, please don't leave me. I know You have other plans for my family but I am just so scared at the sheer uncertainty. I know that I cannot force You to answer our prayers but Lord, at least make our burdens MUCH lighter. At least, fill my family with peace so that after a heavy day at school, I can return to a happy and peaceful family. I know that since we have God, we need not worry but Lord, our problems are so pressing that we cannot help but to worry.

Lord, I need You. No matter how pissed I am at You, I still need You. I still trust You. I still believe in You. I do not want to cling on to You anymore. I want to hold You firmly in my hands. Please help me. Even if You cannot answer my family's prayers, at least help my family to hold you firmly in our lives. You can be that merciful right? All we need is You and please, give us that assurance.

Lord, I pray, on behalf of my family, for Your mercy. Please heal all our hurts and let there be forgiveness and reconciliation in my family. No matter how bad things are, let us not lose hope in You. Bring us to our knees and open our mouths to pray. The problems may not go away for good but at least Lord, grant us a way out. We need your divine help cos' all other help is used and cannot solve our problems. Most importantly, please be with us, Lord. We need You so much that we want You in our lives. So that with every step that we take, we know You are with us and we need not be scared. Please Lord, do not leave us. Take pity on my family and help us.

** Please pray for our friend in need, that God may help her and her family out of this situation, that she may persevere in all her troubles and despair, and that everything would come to a resolution soon.**

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