sims

< This is Betty. She is a 34-year-old investment banker who doesn't usually have much fun. Her idea of a good time consist of standing in the middle of her living room and using the bathroom on the floor simply because her toilet has a wooden seat. A picky bitch, she usually has a hard time making friends. UNFORTUNATELY, she has an IQ, so she doesn't usually get very entertaining.

< Meet Daniel. This 36 year old paramedic is just slightly more intelligent than a wood chip. Due to his inability to grasp new concepts, he generally tends to fuck things up miserably before losing all of his friends. Can usually be found standing outside the front door of his house as all of his houseguests run screaming down the sidewalk. He spends much of his free time being burglarized or setting himself on fire.

< This is Daniel setting himself on fire because he is too fucking stupid to know how to use a grill. Although this fire was only a minor blaze, it still proves my whole wood chip theory.

< This is Steph. She is one mean bitch. I noticed in the game that her quite large ass tends to knock over minor pieces of furniture such as tables, lamps, and grand pianos. Although she isn't very exciting, it can be quite entertaining to watch her completely destroy her house. Her husband has been transformed into a gravestone in her backyard because evidently she drove him insane and he just died. Either that or he died from hunger.

** CAUTION: The following character is one REALLY dumb fucker. Just thought I would let you know.**

< Meet Tommy. This is the dirtiest bastard in the book. He is even dumber than Daniel, and that is pretty bad. Not only did he set his entire kitchen on fire, but later, he even set his entire back yard on fire (see picture). This fire killed THE ENTIRE FAMILY, I shit you not.

This is the first ever documented case of this happening as far back as I can ever remember. It appears to be caused by a disease called Dumbfuck Syndrome.

< This is Tommy getting burnt to death. Derek can be seen in the background beating out flames and laughing his ass off.

Of course, he had been at Wal-Mart prior to the incident, and here is his purchase receipt.

< He may have been pissed off because his floor got pissed on...by his son, Dickless Bob Shagnasty.

Poor little guy, doesn't he look absolutely frightened?