4-14-2000

Friday...School....Hazy....Crazy....

Why I insist on doing my clinical experience time
on the night/morning before
I am supposed to be at school or work
is a mystery to me.

Probably a self hate thing,
where I am scared to succeed.
So I constantly set my self up for failure
and then proceed any way
with no regaurd for those around me.

Then I am surprised when I don't fail !
despite all of the effort put in to self sabotage...

That is a good thing I suppose.
because I have a lot riding on this E.M.S. thing.

Well school is going well,
Cardiology is a bitch.
I think that the heart
being as important to life as it is
should be difficult to understand.

Think about it
Your whole life.
dependent on an electrical current
that couldn't power your watch.

Talk about a reality check.
We are supposed to be able to tell
exactly what is going on
in and around your heart
by the deflections in an osciloscope...
As if we were appliances.
appliances that have pre existing and predictable abnormalities which can not be corrected until they occur.

would you buy an appliance
that you knew had intrinsic defects
that may or may not manifest? ,
that could not be corrected until they occur
and then only sometimes
if you catch it early enough.

no exchanges
un-less
someone returns one that they are done using...

What a bargain...
At least we have some clues
as to repair and maintenance.

we know what causes it to fail sometimes in most people...
but not always.

If you don't smoke , watch your cholesterol ,and excercise...
you'll probably die healthy at 80
when the car hits you on your afternoon walk.!

so some folks say the hell with it,

they smoke ,eat what ever thay want,
and excercise by walking to the "can".

They also die...but rarely healthy...
Plus as an added bonus.
They are driving  the car that hits "Mr. Healthy"
Clutching their chest and coughing/choking on a hoagie
on the way to their 55th birthday party...


As for the shift...
I was back from school at around 5.
there were only three medics on shift when I got there and my coverage was one of them.
so only two medics from then on.
I volunteered to work on the transport truck
for a couple of hours
with an fng from lorain called Angela.
She was ok.
we stopped in at my favorite restaurant
White Castle
on the way back from Cleveland.
(Angela had never eaten there)
(and I was happy to introduce her to the pleasures of little burgers and crinkle cut fries.)
Once we made it back to Elyria
it was time to go back on the Monkey bus.
Ken and I waere fortunate enough to have a light work load for the rest of the shift.
at two thirty in the morning we were dispatched to a
"gang fight with a man down!"
now florance says she gave the correct address and I believe her but in my sleepy ears I heard
"15 chestnut"
now that is pecular..
because this is an Lmha housing complex
with lots of  people who are either "elderly , Ill, or just not right"
and the only kind of gang fight I could imagine here was well...
funny!

but as it turns out  the address was "115 chestnut"
where we found the police,a car and three males one of which was on the groung.
the other two were his friends and were hustling him in to the back seat of the car....
the police said that this fella did not want to file charges
and once he was lifted to his feet by his buddys
he refused treatment.
I encouraged him to go on his own
He said he would...
So I was able to sleep with a clear mind

the rest of the night.



Good Night