Chapter I
The role playing game.

   Once upon I met this dude named Csasba.  He was all bronze and crazy and 
shit.  He said that he had a role playing game made after him, but I didn't 
believe it, cause I never saw that shit.  So he was all, "Let me show you." 
   All of a sudden Jesus, and HID walked into my house and they're all 
like, "Dude, lets score some brews and hash." And I was all "The brew is cool, 
but my land lord will be pissed if I'm caught smoking in here."  So they're all 
like, "Don't worry dude, we'll be cool."  Well they weren't.  
   Needless to say things got a bit out of control.  

Chapter II
The Jesus

   Jesus started eatting 
everything in the fridge.  I was all like, "Jesus, what the fuck are you 
doing?  That food has to last me till the next pay check."  
   And Jesus was all, "But I'm fuckin' starvin'.  Besides, doesn't the good 
book say give all your shit to me."  
   And I said, "No, it doesn't say anything like that!"  
   "Well it should," he replied.  "Besides, all you wrist band wearin' mother 
fuckers are always asking, 'What would Jesus do?  What would Jesus do?' Well, 
now ya know.  I'd eat all your food and leave.  Besides, if you give everything 
to me when your poor, it'll mean so much more to me that I'll reward you 1000 
times over as soon as I'm done with this sandwhich I'm makin', now I know the 
bible says something like that!"  
   Whether the bible does or doesn't say something like that, it doesn't 
matter.  He never rewarded me worth shit.  And he left the freezer door open 
and my icecream was all melted by the time I caught it.

Chapter III
The Friend

   By then everybody and their mother was at my fuckin' house, drinkin' and 
smokin'.  I found Csasba in the crowd and was like, "Duuude, I totaly don't 
like this role playing shit anymore."
   Csasba was all drinkin' and shit.  He was a bulidgerant drunk again.  One of
 his friends came up to him and said, "Yo, Csasba it's good to see you back on 
the block."
   He said, "Sheeeeet, cracker, I ain't been o' du hood fo' mo' nahhn a good 
minute, and you already tryin' t' talk like you some gangster thug shit.  Yo, 
peep this.  You ain't no thug bitch!  You ain't no thug.  I don't gives a fuck 
whatchu been up t' since I been gone.  You still a squirrely ass bitch in my 
book."
   "Fuck you man!" said his friend.  He took off slammin' the door on his way out.

Chapter IV
The sick fucks


   I totaly understood so I tried to help.  "Geezus Csasba, your kinda drinkin'
 like a horse there buddy.  Maybe you shouold slow down."  
   And he said, "Dude, I've been trapped at the bottom
of a mother fucking lake for close to a goddamn 50
years."
   And I said, "Dude how did you get out?"
   And he said, "Duuuuuude, I drug my lazy
superpowered ass out of the fuckin lagoon, how the
hell else did you think I was going to get out?"
   So I said, "Fuck."
   Then HID tried to butt into the conversation saying, "I dragged my lazy limp 
penis out of the cats ass, that's how I got out."  
   We all just looked at him like, "What the fuck?".  So later we found out he 
had fucked the neighbors cat.
   Get this, HID was caught fuckin' the neighbors cat, by my neighbor's 
mother!  She was babysitting her grand kids.   They have this huge picture 
window angled right next to the TV, so when you walk by at night, it's like 
watching a human fish bowl as they sit there and stare at thier television.  
HID wasn't even discrete.  There he is on the front lawn while the kids are 
watching a dysiney movie.  The old lady called the cops.  They came here 
looking for him, but I said I hadn't seen him.  Then they told me to keep the 
party down, and if they got anymore complaints that I would be ticketed.  HID 
is one sick fuck.  
   Although now the cat shits golden nuggets.  Its pretty cool, the cat will 
get up on its tip toes just before it goes to take a shit, and then it gets 
this glimmering glow and lets out a "Yowel", and then plop, out pops a golden 
nugget shaped like a cat turd.  That's gotta hurt the cat though.

Chapter V
The End

   The party ended when Csasba's friend came back with a gun and tried to 
fuckin' kill Csasba.  He walked up to Csasba, who was chillin' with a couple of 
fine bitch ass hoes, watching America's Funniest Home Video re-runs, and then 
the dude unloaded 8 rounds into his chest.  Everyone started screaming and 
hidding behind tables and chairs and shit.  Csasba didn't even flinch, he just 
stood up and starting of calmly he said, "Now you done and pissed me the fuck 
off!"
   His eyes started glowing all green and red and shit and the dudes skin 
melted off his body right in front of everyone.  His flesh and bones started 
bubbling right there on the floor, as the remains of the man colapsed to the 
ground.  It smelt like complete ass, like a mix of burnt fur and boiled shit.
   After the smoldering remains had stopped bubbling, Csasba said, "Well looks 
like I've whipped the horses ass again."
   So I'm totally getting kicked out of my apartment this coming Friday.  The 
place is trashed, I get noise complaints all the time, and those ungrateful 
slobs haven't offered to clean the house or anything.  Those bastards.