Title: Distractions
Author: Amy aka Lady Julieanne
Disclaimer: CBS and thier affiliates own the characters and the show. 
I wish I did, but that does not change anything.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17, if you can't handle it, don't read it.
Pairing: C/S
Archiving/Distribuition: Ask and ye shall receive.
Summary: This is Sara's POV during Bad Thoughts. It will help if you 
read that story. (Shameless plug)


From my favorite lady....

"I taste a liquor never brewed,
Fram tankards scooped in pearl;
Not all the vats upon the Rhine
Yield such an alcohol......"

XX, Emily Dickenson
**********************************************************************

After I come back to my senses, I realize that I am in fact, naked 
and in Catherine's bed. I can still feel her inside me and I know 
that I did not dream what has happened between us.  She curls up next 
to me and puts her fingers in her mouth, licking and sucking them 
clean of my wetness. My god. I feel new desire for her replacing what 
has faded. She tells me she likes it. Oh man. I nearly whimper at all 
the bad thoughts running through my head at that moment. 

She mover her hand to trace circles on my abdomen, occasionally 
sliding them across a spot that is ticklish. Her beautiful blue eyes 
light up in a playful way, and when I can't take it anymore, I grab a 
hold of her hand. I try to get her to believe that I'm not ticklish, 
but she doesn't go for it. She relents only because I still have a 
fierce hold on her hand. We ease into a slight silence and I am 
immediately nervous. 

Usually this is when I grab my clothes and head out the door. Most of 
my companions don't mind, since fun was had. But I want to stay with 
Catherine. I want her to want me to stay. God, I sound like a child. 
I voice my fears and she is there to soothe me. She does want me to 
stay. I am ecstatic to hear this. I lean over and kiss her slowly. 
She takes away my fears in that kiss. I know that we will be okay. No 
matter what my silly fears, we will make this work.

I see Catherine's eyes glaze over as we pull apart. Not only does she 
not want me to leaver her house, she doesn't want me to leave her 
bed. As much as I agree with that, if we're going to be active all 
day, I'm going to need food. I tell her as much, and though I see a 
glint of disappointment in her eyes, I also see that she understands. 
I roll off the bed and ask where the bathroom is. It hits me that 
I've never really been to Catherine's house before. At least, not for 
long enough to find out where things are.

I close the door to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I 
am naked. In Catherine's house. We just had sex. Good sex. Great sex. 
Oh my god, I had sex with Catherine. All these years I've waited. She 
never once hinted at interest. There's that damn smile again. People 
are seriously going to think something is wrong with me.

I grab the robe off the door and wrap myself up in its satiny fabric. 
Catherine has left the bedroom and I can hear her downstairs. I pick 
up the room a little and join her. She is staring at the cabinets, 
looking for something but I'm not sure she knows what exactly it is 
that she is looking for. I wrap my arms around her and place gentle 
kisses on the back of her neck. I ask what's for breakfast as I pull 
an earlobe into my mouth to suck on gently. I know she likes this. 
She kids with me and tells me that I am what's for breakfast. Mmm. 
That's sounds like fun.

But I need food. I will never make it through the sex if I don't get 
some food. I spot a box of pancake mix and ask for waffles. So it's 
decided. Waffles. I ask if she needs help, and she says no. I grab a 
glass of juice and go to the door to get the paper. On my way through 
the living room, I put in a CD and turn towards the bar separating 
Catherine's kitchen from her dining room just as the sounds begin to 
fill the room.

I can't really explain why, but I love this CD. Norah Jones. 
Mainstream music. Usually not my thing. But her voice mixed in with 
the jazz is a nice combination. I will admit that I have a wide 
variety of music at my place, but it definitely leans heavily toward 
the non-mainstream. I like metal, punk, alternative, pretty much any 
kind of music where the band can put on a good show. None of that 
country stuff where the shows are bland and the songs are all about 
long lost loves. If I need to drown my sorrows, I do it with a six 
pack and heavy metal CD. There's something about the unrelenting 
drumbeat and screaming vocals that picks me up out of my sadness. 
Plus, it makes really great music to work out to, fast and with a 
nonstop beat. Maybe I do need therapy after all.

When I've finished with the paper, I notice that Catherine has 
finished with breakfast. There is plenty of juice, waffles and bacon. 
She must think I really worked up an appetite. Or maybe she did. I've 
just begun eating meat again, and I can't believe how much I missed 
bacon. I think I can do without the rest, but I've found a new 
appreciation for bacon. Which is really odd when I think about why I 
stopped eating meat in the first place. Oh well. I think too much 
anyway.

Catherine still wants to know why I was acting odd at work. She 
figured it out. I shouldn't have to tell her. I mean, we fixed the 
problem. But she wants me to say it. I tell her its Catherine 
frustration. A mix between sexual frustration and lack of sex with 
her. She smiled a little at that. Truth be told, I've been able to 
handle the sexual frustration part before. But lately, I've really 
felt the need to be with her. And not just sexually, but to spend 
time with her. Listen to her laugh, hold her when she cries. Tell her 
everything will be okay. Somewhere along the line my feelings turned 
from lust to love. And that changed things. I couldn't ignore it 
anymore. I'm glad I didn't.

Catherine and I both notice the sound of the door opening and seconds 
later there is Lindsey, followed by Catherine's sister Nancy. Oh man. 
I knew it was too good to be true. Busted. Lindsey says something 
about a math book and runs upstairs. I notice, and try not to, that 
Nancy is kind of staring at me. I turn slightly and stare at my 
plate. I think Nancy notices my embarrassment. She asks me if I'm 
Sara and I can barely find my voice for long enough to confirm that I 
am indeed Sara. The few times I stayed for the `morning after' as it 
were, I've never once been busted by the family. No kids, no 
siblings, no husbands or wives. Now I remember why it became habit 
not to stick around. I am so uncomfortable.

Lindsey comes back down and gives her mom a hug before asking 
something about ice cream. I still seem to be fascinated with my 
empty plate. Lindsey grabs my attention when she asks if I can go to. 
I'm nearly ready to run out the door, even if I'm only in a robe. I'm 
embarrassed, and now Catherine's daughter is calmly asking me if I 
would like to get ice cream with her. Like she comes home everyday to 
find someone else sitting in her house with her mother's robe one. I 
almost don't answer at all, but then I look at her face and I know 
that she has won my heart too. So much like Catherine. I can't refuse 
her. But I don't know what Catherine's plans are for the day so I 
leave it up to her. Looks to me like I'm going for ice cream. My 
heart melts when Lindsey leans over and gives me hug before leaving 
the house.

I suddenly realize that now I have two women in my life. Okay, so 
Lindsey is still a child. But I instantly know that I will do 
anything for her. She accepted me with great ease. I need to ask 
Catherine about that. How is Lindsey so mature for someone who is 
only nine? 

Catherine has begun cleaning up our breakfast dishes, and I stop her. 
She made breakfast. The least I can do is clean it up. She looks 
reluctant but agrees. I shoo her off to the shower and take care of 
the dishes and cleaning up. As I stand in front of the sink I have 
time to get over my embarrassment and Lindsey's arrival. And standing 
here, I can hear the shower running upstairs. I can't help but think 
about her. In the shower. Naked. I am suddenly burning with a desire 
to touch her again. I hurry through the rest of the clean up and 
practically run upstairs to her.

I reach the bathroom just as she was stepping out and grabbing a 
towel to dry herself. I don't want to let her. I want to do that for 
her. I tease a little and tell her I won't need the robe anymore. She 
doesn't catch on right away and thinks I'm leaving. I tell her that 
is not why I don't need the robe and then I see the recognition flash 
in her eyes before they darken slightly in desire. I grab the towel 
from her and use it to dry her off while I kiss her. It doesn't take 
long before my touches change in intent and I feel her heartbeat 
increase under my hands.

I wrap my arms around her and stoop down to pick her up. She is not 
resistant, but she still questions what I am doing. As brilliant as 
Catherine is, sometimes she just doesn't catch on. I want to take her 
to new heights. I want her to experience pleasure like never before. 
And as fun as it would be to try that in the bathroom, I get the 
feeling she will be more comfortable in the bed. I carry her into the 
bedroom. I can see by the look in her eyes that she is surprised I 
can carry her so easily. It feels good to know I can surprise her 
with something so simple.


I have already discovered that I love the feel of her skin pressed 
against mine, so after I place her on the bed I crawl on top of her 
and press our bodies together. I know that I am going to take my time 
and I begin with a simple kiss. I take my time and enjoy our kiss 
while I let one hand roam free across her body sometimes lightly 
caressing her skin, sometimes gently massaging. Catherine moans into 
our kiss and I know that I'm on the right track.

I slowly move down her body, kissing and licking and sucking on every 
bit of her. Catherine is already begging for release. I feel as if I 
am in heaven. Her soft smooth skin under my lips and her lusty moans 
in my ears have even taken me to a new place of desire. I know there 
is no turning back from this. She is my only. Nothing I have ever 
dreamt or fantasized about compares to the feel of her underneath me.

Temporarily, though I know she wants it, I avoid her center. I want 
her to be on the edge before I touch her need. I gently twirl my 
fingers in her blonde curls tickling the skin underneath as my mouth 
wanders away. I know that she wants those fingers inside her, but I 
continue to let them play with her as I work my way down her legs. I 
massage and caress every inch of her skin. When I have finished my 
gentle explorations I turn my attention to Catherine's swollen and 
throbbing core. I feel her writhing in anticipation on the bed as I 
slowly inhale her scent. She is magnificent. 

I feel how close she is and a surge of desire runs through my body 
and I suddenly realize that she is not the only one dripping wet. I 
have never been this excited just to be with someone. All these years 
I missed out on this one moment. The anticipation of what's to come 
has Catherine moaning steadily and my heart is thudding through my 
chest. Fantasy mixes with reality as I brush my tongue lightly up the 
skin of her outer folds. I want this. And after this slight taste, I 
know that neither she nor I will last much longer. 

I slip my finger into her opening, gathering up some of her wetness. 
I lick my finger clean tasting everything that is Catherine. And now 
there is no more time to waste. With one taste my brain is locked on 
tasting more and giving her everything I can. I open her again, this 
time with my tongue and as I thrust my tongue inside her folds, I 
hear her scream my name. God, yes. That is what I wanted. All I've 
ever wanted. To hear my name coming from her lips in a moment just 
like this. I use my hand to open more of her up to me. I lick and 
suck every part of her as she screams my name over and over. I 
occasionally thrust my tongue inside her and marvel at how fantastic 
she tastes. She nears release and I enter her with my fingers and 
suck lightly on her clit. I feel her orgasm shake through her like an 
earthquake. But I am not finished. I continue to manipulate her flesh 
until her feel her come a second and a third time.

I work my way back up her body, placing light kisses on already over-
stimulated flesh. I feel her rapid heart beat and know instinctively 
that she is slipping into the dreamworld. I curl up next to her and 
wrap my arms around her. When I know that she has fallen asleep, I 
quietly whisper my love for into her ear. I love her. I know this is 
love because it feels like nothing I've ever experienced. It's hard 
to describe, but in my heart I know what it is. I just don't want her 
to be frightened off by my admission, so I just whisper it when I 
know she can't hear me. All the same, it feels great to say it out 
loud. I drift into a light sleep as well.

Time passes, though I'm not sure how much, and I am awakened by the 
glorious feel of Catherine's tongue licking up the wetness between my 
legs. My God. Catherine. I began moaning her name as she continues to 
lick. Before I even notice she has moved her lips, she is sucking on 
my hard clit while two of her fingers explore the source of my 
wetness. Waves of pleasure rush through me as my orgasm sends my 
still sleepy mind reeling.

Catherine wastes no time in moving her mouth from my happily swollen 
clit to the dripping wet folds of my sex. She replaces her fingers 
with her tongue and before I can even think another orgasm crashes 
through my body. The combination of sleepiness and post-orgasm 
euphoria has my mind seeing stars until I can regain control of 
breathing. I can't explain how she does it, but she knows exactly 
what to say to get me out of my mind with desire again. She lays down 
next to me and tells me how good I taste. And then she shares it with 
me. Listening to these words come out of her mouth, and then the 
brief kiss she shares with me, sets my body on fire again.

Unfortunately the next words out of her mouth are about her sister 
coming over. Soon. I wanted to go a few more rounds, but it sounds 
like its time to have the family talk. The few, and I mean very few, 
times I talked with the family of my lovers were beyond horrible. My 
family never really accepted me, and coming out of the closet, even 
as a bisexual, pretty much alienated me. I've never been a people 
person, and some distant part of brain shuts down when it comes to 
talking about personal issues. Which is inevitably what the family 
wants to know.

I will admit to not being quite prepared for this so soon. I mean 
Catherine and I are still exploring this thing we have together. I am 
positive about how I feel, but despite my best efforts, I can't 
figure her out. It helps that she calls me her girlfriend. At least I 
know for sure that she didn't just want a fling. That probably would 
have broken my heart. Part of me knows that she loves me, but the 
part of me that's been beaten down my entire life will always 
question her love.

I head off to Catherine's bathroom for a shower pondering my low 
opinion of myself. I have been told time and time again that I am 
loved. But then that person always breaks my heart. If it happens 
enough, it tends to wear down a person. I lived through enough pain 
and sorrow to know that what I have with Catherine is different, but 
this is something she will have to help me with. I know she can help 
fix this about me, it's just something about her. I think it's part 
of what attracts me to her. Knowing that she can break down the walls 
I've built around myself. But it scares me too. This is all I've 
known my entire life. Mistrust and deception. Hurt and heartbreak. 

I try not to dwell on it too much as I clean up. I am aware that I'm 
in Catherine's shower and that for the rest of the day, I will smell 
like her. Using her shampoo and soap I am surrounded by the familiar 
smell of Catherine. I love this smell. I grin at the thought of 
smelling like her all day. As I finish in the bathroom, I make sure 
everything is cleaned up and I head into the bedroom. Catherine has 
cleaned and my clothes are now on the edge of the bed. I dress, 
neglecting to put my underwear back on, after all I'm clean now and 
they aren't. I kind of like the fell of my slacks against my bare 
skin anyway. If I listen hard enough, I can hear the sounds of 
conversation coming from downstairs. Here goes nothing.


**********************************************************************

Sorry this one took so long to get finished, but for some reason my 
boss actually thinks I should do some work. This in turn cuts into my 
writing time.