| This is a very difficult question to answer; for to answer the question you ask, means that I must accept that the little boy I gave birth to, and lived with, dedicated my earlier adult life to, raised, loved and cherished more than anything else in this lifetime, has grown up, become an adult, and left, to continue along his own life's journey. But, I guess that IS what I miss most~~the little boy that needed me to kiss his "ouchies" and make all his world better again; even though we as adults, knew that wasn't true. At least "the child" believed. For when a simple mother's kiss could heal it all, no matter what the hurt, the pain; physical, emotional, whatever it was, and make his whole world good and right again; what a miracle! And it made me feel like all was right with my world then too. I miss his childhood laughter, his childhood views and hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. Because as children, and mother's of children, we all just KNOW, our child is going to do something FANTASTIC, somehow save the world, solve all the problems of the world, poverty, disease, hate, etc. But as the child grows, so does the parent, and boy; what a rude awakening for us all! LOL And I'm just not sure I like being awakened to what the world is really like right now, all that it holds in store, not only for my children, or my children's children, but for all people throughout all the world. And this military experience has brought so much more to our lives to face as "reality". Now they visit and see and experience poverty in other lands. They see the disease firsthand, the dissentary, the bugs, the horrid living conditions, the death. And that which we've come to know as our sons, our daughters, well, they've drastically changed. They've not only grown into adults now, but they've changed into military adults, into United States Marines, the toughest of the tough, the skilled and knowlegable killers if they are called and have to do so. I often wonder if that sweet little boy I raised could actually take a rifle, a gun, whatever, face another human being, and fire, and by all reality kill another person; take another life. Yes, I'm sure he can, his training has taught him that, and I realize that in the throngs of war, one must if one is to survive themselves. But........ So, I guess that what I miss the most is that which I had in the past; that which I thought I had; that fantasy world of childhood, parenthood, growing up together and the 'not knowing' what either one of us would become. For never in my wildest dreams did I imagine my son would grow up to become a United States Marine. Of course, rofl, I knew he'd grow up and become something special and a fantastic adult; I mean, how could he not? LOL With a mom like me, there just wasn't any other choice? LOL Right? rofl But no, never a Marine, never a defender of our country, never someone who would teach me the meaning of patriotism, the true values of the gift of Freedom that others have given so much to fight for for all of us to enjoy.....and in so teaching me, how we so take all of it for granted.....never thinking, imagining, that life could possibly be any different. What IF we were to lose that Freedom that we take so much for granted? WOW, now there's a thought! But no, I don't want to face that one either. LOL Isn't it so easy to just say that, to forget it, to say things will never happen that way, to ignor? My dad taught me the value of "ignoring." lol He ignored anything and everything he didn't want to hear, or think about, or face. Lol And then he died. I guess he was then forced to face that one.......but then, so was I. So was anyone that knew him, loved him, cared for him. But, once again, I don't want to think about that one either. As parents we 'assume' that we will pass on before our children; that that's one pain that we'll never have to face, the loss of one of our children. But since being thrown into this life experience known as USMC, we've all had to face that possibility; and quite unfortunately and very sorrowfully, some of us have had to face that as a rather cruel and horrid reality. And yes, I'm going to be as selfish as every other mother, father, parent........God, please don't let me have to face that Reality, for I don't feel that I can be strong enough to endur that one. My Faith is strong; my Faith in God, my Faith in my son, my marine, my Country, my Corps; but I don't want to have todeal with THAT as a Reality. So, what I miss most is the little boy with the little boy outlook on life, on the future; that pure innocence of the young boy that ran around the house playing, laughing, who threw water all over the bathroom, who picked on his little sisters but then also defended them to any and all who might harm them in any way. I miss that little boy calling, "hey mom", "I love you mom", and the look on his face when he said it, that look that tells a mother he really means it; that he feels that way from the sheer and utter depths of his heart. I miss tucking "my little guy" in bed at night, feeling, knowing, that he was safe as long as he was with 'his mom'. That feeling all mom's have that you're the only woman in his life, lol, the most important person in his life and heart; you're his hero, his lifesaver, his cure for all things.......and now......well, now II guess he is mine. He's my hero, he's the No.1 fella in my life, he's the most important person in my heart, he's the life and soul of this great Nation, the protector of us all, he's the frontline, he's the United States Marine, the first one in........and God help us all.........one of The Few, The Proud, The Brave that will also be one of the first to make it out alive and still have his heart, his soul, his mind, and all his limbs still in tact. I miss hearing, "I love you, mom!" Very Proud, Mighty Marine Mom of Lcpl. Gregory Allen Dague, U.S.M.C. Air Support Operations Operator, stationed at Camp Futenma, Okinawa, Japan. 08 July 2001 Diane Weller |