by Alison Leigh
Note: AU in that Sirius never fell through the veil, or was resurrected in a way that will not be addressed. In this story the war is now over.
Sirius sat on the bed with a huff and crossed his arms. Remus stood in the doorway looking at his tense back with a steely eye. He looked like nothing more than a spoiled child, frustrated at being ordered to play nice. Probably because Remus had ordered him to play nice and he'd failed spectacularly.
"I don?t know why you let Severus get to you," Remus spoke with a weary breath out. It was no use being mad. Wasn't love supposed to be about accepting each other's weaknesses?
"I'm sorry, Moony. I really meant to just- I mean I didn't mean to. He just? gets to me."
Remus sighed again. "I had noticed that actually," he said with a wry smile. He drifted into the room and closed the door softly behind him. A whispered word and the lights dimmed and the candle by the bed ignited slowly, smoldering, then lighting Sirius' face with gentle flame. He ran one hand along the carved wood of the footboard, drinking his fill of Sirius' lighted profile.
"Which tipped you off first? The insults, the shouting, or the flying dishware?" Sirius said quietly, looking down at his hands, tangled in his lap. His hair fell from behind his ear, shielding his face. "I tried."
"I know. I saw you trying. I saw you trying so hard that you almost burst a blood vessel," Remus moved to kneel in front of Sirius, laying his hands on his knees in comfort. "I suppose it was too much to ask that you could be nice, but can't you just? I don't know? Smile and nod? Grin and bear it?"
Sirius looked down at Remus and tilted his head. He blinked several times and then his lips twitched, his stomach seized, then finally he lost the battle with himself and burst out laughing, loudly and boisterously. Remus raised his eyebrows and watched Sirius tilt his head back and laugh and laugh and laugh, eventually trailing off into mischievous giggles.
"Want to share the joke?" Remus asked, eyebrows still raised.
"It?s just, now that I think about it, I don't know what would piss him off more than that," Sirius said, voice breathless with laughter, and eyes glinting bright with mischief.
"Has anyone ever told you that scheming looks good on you?" Remus tilted his head, leaning up slowly.
"Besides you? I don?t remember," Sirius whispered, and leaned down to meet his kiss, still smiling.
~!~!~
Sirius Black and Severus Snape had never gotten along. In fact, putting the two of them together was equivalent to mixing charcoal, sulfur, and saltpeter and throwing it into a fire. BOOM.
Even Remus, who remembered witnessing their first meeting on Platform 9 � couldn?t recall who had struck first. He remembered the sparks flying, the insults, the sneering and posturing, which had soon exploded into an impromptu and extremely amateur duel. James Potter had gleefully come to the assistance of his childhood friend, and Severus's hatred of the two of them had been sealed for all time. He didn?t suffer defeat well.
Remus had wished and prayed for Sirius to gain the ability to resist Snape's barbs; he'd hoped that with time Sirius would gain the maturity. For such a smart man, Remus was thick sometimes.
Sirius had tried to stay silent in the face of Snape?s jibes, to ignore him as Remus and countless other had suggested, but it was hopeless. Snape's voice penetrated his mental shields and well-intentioned determination like a pin sliding into a voodoo doll made of hot wax, and before he knew it they were shouting at each other, spewing out every venomous thing they could think of. Unfortunately they were both quite creative.
But as Remus drifted off to sleep beside him, his warm breath puffing onto his neck, Sirius renewed his determination. Next time would be different. Now he had a plan, and it would work. And when Severus exploded in apoplectic fury, he would go right on smiling innocently.
~!~!~
At Sunday dinner that week Snape wasted no time: "I apologize for my behavior last week. I realize our shouting match must have gotten you in the dog house. So to speak."
This was how it started. Subtle jabs disguised as niceties. It was how Snape attempted to follow the "be nice" mandate placed on him by his own mate. "I know your godson was quite cross with me. I believe he was entertaining notions of forcing me to sleep on the couch." And there again; Snape mentioning Harry and sleeping arrangements had always made Sirius flinch.
His resolve faltered and he hastily turned to take Harry and Snape's cloaks to the hall closet. Then it occurred to him: hearing about his godson and Severus together, thinking about them together, god forbid picturing them together was profoundly disturbing to him. In the way that picturing Dumbledore in a thong was disturbing. But as much as hearing about it disturbed Sirius, how much must talking about his lover with his worst enemy disturb an intensely private man like Snape? It was probably even more disturbing for him. That was probably on par with? Voldemort in a thong? after getting a sloppy sex-change operation.
The payoff (ie. getting Sirius angry to the point of steam pouring out his ears like the Hogwarts Express on Pepper-up) was probably just barely more than the cost to Snape's extreme pride and privacy. All Sirius had to do was hold out and soon Snape would get so frustrated he would either shut the bloody hell up or storm off in a snit.
Sirius took a deep breath, fixed a smile on his face and charged back into the fray.
~!~!~
Remus offered drinks before dinner, and the group chatted. Snape tried some more subtle jabs and Sirius looked him right in the eye and grinned widely. Snape looked back blankly. Damn he was good. No sign of a frown or a scowl. The comments increased in scope and sophistication as the more subtle ones refused to do the trick. Harry began to get irritated as Severus went farther and farther past the bounds of civility. Sirius grinned at Snape, Snape glared at Sirius, and Harry frowned at Snape. Who apparently didn't notice his comments were going to get him in the dog house. Or maybe the terrarium, the little snake. Sirius thought of Snape's face if he said that out loud and grinned more widely.
Over dinner the battle continued silently. Snape glared more fiercely than ever, and Sirius continued to grin around his mouthfuls of food. Remus had noticed the battle being waged and attempted to keep their attention focused on dinner conversation. Most of his attempts ended in one sentence answers, and the looks Remus and Harry had been exchanging throughout the evening became more and more significant.
Sirius grinned as he noticed Snape's scowl growing fiercer and fiercer, and his scathing remarks disappeared. He predicted the explosion wouldn't be long in coming, but Snape surprised him by remaining silent through most of dinner and dessert. Ironically it was this eerie silence that most tested Sirius?s resolve. Snape's narrowed eyes remained locked on him, tracking his movements across the room, glaring at him in malicious contemplation. He felt like an ant under a magnifying glass on a sunny day, but he just kept grinning.
In the end there was no explosion. At least, not one of Snape's infamous spittle strewing varieties. Remus gathered the dessert dishes, while Sirius escorted his godson and his horrible choice of partner (*coughSnapecough*) to the door. As the two were donning their cloaks Snape turned to Sirius with murder in his eyes and said, in the most emotionally dead tone Sirius had ever heard said:
"Thank you very much for the visit. I imagine it must be quite galling to have to invite me into your home on a weekly basis, being that I am your worst enemy. I also know it must gall you to know your precious godson has chosen to bed down with such a vile man as myself but I assure you I?m taking good care of him. The neighbors often complain of it."
Sirius's mouth dropped open in shock but before he could react Harry's hand shot out with the speed of a World Cup seeker and grasped Snape by the hair, pulling him into an awkward looking stoop so he could glare into his eyes. "That is IT. I have had all I can take of this attitude from you. Sirius hasn't said a damn thing to you all night and STILL you've been baiting him. Our neighbors won't have jack shit to complain about for Quite. Some. Time!" and with that Harry let go of Snape, and Apparated, the Snap! of air lending a nice little punctuation mark to the whole angry speech. Snape clenched his fist impotently at the empty space Harry had left and Apparated right after.
Sirius stood clutching the doorjamb, struck speechless by the tableau. He felt Remus come to stand behind him, and slip an arm around his waist.
"Well. That was? er," Remus faltered, his breath huffing across Sirius?s neck. He marshaled himself and tried again. "That was very-"
Sirius turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. He saw Remus purse his lips into various formations then as if on cue they both burst out into barking laughing, more raucous and uproarious than since they were teens. They gripped each other to steady themselves through the nearly hysterical convulsions, and managed to stumble to the couch, finally falling, taking deep breaths in.
They held their stomachs, as their chuckles slowed, giving way to quiet lassitude. They curled around each other, Sirius smiling into Remus?s hair, his hand brushing gently back and forth over Remus?s ribs, wishing for skin, but too content to move and risk ruining the moment.
"You were right. In all the days I've known Severus I don't think I've ever seen quite that expression on his face before," Remus said, smiling into the bend of neck and shoulder where his head rested.
"No, you were right. Grin and bear it is my new motto for all things Snape. My cheeks hurt like a bitch but that was worth every twinge."
"The things we do for love, huh?"
"Precisely."
lj: ig_nobleigh