CROWNED PRO WRESTLING PRESENTS

PRIME LIVE ON CBS

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22ND, 2021

BARCLAYS CENTER, BROOKLYN, NY

 

To kick off the show, we have a pre-filmed video of CPW President Nick Khan. He introduces Prime proudly, then says the fans in attendance and watching worldwide should say hello to the new General Manager of Crowned Pro Wrestling, professional wrestling legend Mick Foley!

Stomping to the ring, Foley slaps many hands before greeting the fans in Brooklyn in the way he does best - a cheap pop. Immediately getting to business, Foley reveals that he's planned ways to crown the two most important champions in CPW.

 

[ MICK FOLEY ] We'll be starting a 16-man league tournament to determine the best representative of what Crowned can be on the men's side. And tonight, we're also starting our tournament to crown, no pun intended, a Women's Champion! It'll be a battle royal, with all the women in the division facing off to eliminate half of the field!

 

The fans pop again, excited to see the battle royal, and Foley signs off, promising a great match to kick us off in-ring!

 

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CRWND IRON & BONE LEAGUE:

CHRISTIAN CAGE VS. BOBBY FISH

REFEREE: D.A. BREWER

 

Kicking the company's television era off in style is Christian Cage, who receives more than a smattering of applause en route to the ring to face off with the devious technician Bobby Fish, who has developed a mean streak a mile-wide in the past few months.

Fish actually excelled past the veteran with sound mat offense, locking in a heel hook which sent Christian to the ropes early on. The Instant Classic rebounded with a big second-rope cross body and fisherman suplex combination for a two count, rattling Fish.

Nearing the end of the match, Fish attempted a scoop brainbuster, but Christian countered into a small package for two. Up quicker than the Instant Classic, Fish responded by rushing in, looking for the Fish Hook, but Christian used a well-timed kick to the head to stun his opponent, leaving him open for the Killswitch and the one-two-three!

 

[ EXCALIBUR ] Incredible win for the incredible, perseverant Christian!

 

[ SAM ROBERTS ] Christian's a washed-up piece of trash! I can't wait to see his old, brittle bones crumble to dust over the grueling Iron & Bone League! Hahahaha!

 

Byron Saxton cried imagining this.

 

WINNER: CHRISTIAN CAGE

via PINFALL (KILLSWITCH) in 8:27

 

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We cut backstage, where newest signee Jade Cargill is doing bicep curls, surely preparing for the big battle royal first round match later tonight. Eventually, we notice Raquel Gonzalez walking up, and sees Jade's exercising. She lifts an eyebrow and takes a weight from the rack, curling it, too. The two women seem to compete with one another for a moment, pushing as the fans cheer, still not really sure what's going on here. After a moment, Nyla Rose approaches with Vicki Guerrero in tow.

 

[ VICKIE GUERRERO ] HAHAHA LOOK AT THIS, NYLA, DEAR, these two think they're the strongest women in all of Crowned Pro!

 

Nyla snorts and lifts a weight of her own - ONE THAT IS FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER THAN JADE OR RAQUEL'S - and curls it effortlessly. She drops it cockily and snarls. Not to be outdone, Jade Cargill lifts VICKI GUERRERO off the ground and curls HER a time or two!

 

[ VICKIE GUERRERO ] AHHH! PUT ME DOWN YOU MONSTROSITY!

 

Nyla pulls Vickie away by the skirt, which rips down the seam to show off a thong beneath. The crowd groans and Vickie turns to the camera, angrily as security flock into the scene, seperating the three most powerful women on the roster before they can come to blows.

 

[ VICKIE GUERRERO ] EX-KUUUUZE ME! Dammit, this is supposed to be like the Attitude Era, so you KNEW there'd be sexual content somewhere in every show! You all shut up! My ass is still sexy, right, Nyla? Nyla?!

 

Nyla does not reply, growling deeply as she fights security, trying to get to her rivals. These three women ALONE are a powder keg leading into the first round battle royal!

 

Eventually, we cut from the scene.

 

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SINGLES MATCH:

SANTOS ESCOBAR VS. SAMURAY DEL SOL

REFEREE: JASON AYERS

 

This match was an exhibition of the lucha libre style, thrilling the Brooklyn audience with each dive and roll.

Del Sol was the first to take to the air, scoring with a quebrada. Escobar would be next, capitalizing on a missed dropkick to smash Samuray with his trademark "Arrow from Hell" topé.

Back inside the ring, Samuray excelled, putting his foot to the pedal and to the floor, wrecking Santos with a series of leg lariats, a short range head-scissor, and a spike hurricanrana!

Sizing him up, del Sol prepared for the Del Sol Driver, but Escobar rolled under, connecting with a school boy - and grabbing a healthy handful of trunks - to earn the disingenuous three count!

 

WINNER: SANTOS ESCOBAR

via PINFALL (SCHOOL BOY with TIGHTS) in 7:25

 

After the fall, Escobar quickly scooted to the ramp, while del Sol argued with Ayers that there was blatant cheating going on. Escobar laughs as the segment comes to a close.

 

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The camera pans up slowly on a silhouette, seemingly forever up the dark, mysterious frame of a man. The time peels by so slowly that each portion of their body is focused on, even in shadow. Eventually, the lights rise to see the Herculean form of...

 

...Marko Stunt?

 

[ MARKO STUNT ] If you don't know me, then where've you been? I'm Marko Stunt, and I'm a big...FBLEEPKIN'...deal!

 

He wrings his hands together.

 

[ MARKO STUNT ] Not only am I a world-renowned professional wrestler in THIS company, but I'm the EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT of a company, too - Cape Championship Wrestling, I think its called! I can't be bothered to look. Most importantly, I'm the CEO of a third one - the Stunt Unified Career Killer Services Company Under Marko. And yeah, you heard me right...

 

Stunt looks into the camera, smirking. He looks like a high school sophomore who rides a skateboard shittily through the cars in the parking lot, not impressing anybody and generally making everyone mad just by existing in his annoying way.

 

[ MARKO STUNT ] I'm killin' careers...who's first?!

 

He shoves the camera man and walks away laughing like a stupid prick.

 

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CRWND IRON & BONE LEAGUE:

SHINGO TAKAGI VS. LA KNIGHT

REFEREE: JOHN CONE

 

LA Knight, a fine competitor in his own right, would normally be a good fight for a wrestler, but a world-class opponent like Shingo Takagi absolutely STORMED through Knight in this contest.

Knight couldn't get out of the blocks, only managing to fire up Takagi with his strikes and running clotheslines. Shingo answered with leathering chops, staggering Knight to the corner, where he was met with a big knee strike, then a disgusting neckbreaker over the knee to follow.

Sizing up his opponent, Takagi put this one away with his lariat, the Pumping Bomber, to earn two points in the Iron & Bone League.

 

WINNER: SHINGO TAKAGI

via PINFALL (PUMPING BOMBER) in 3:52

 

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In catering, we see celebrated amateur superstar Gable Steveson sipping from a large carton of milk, pleasantly observing the evening's events. Various wrestlers pass to and fro, before none other than Eric Young stops in front of him and points.

"What's up with that milk," Young asks, chuckling. "What the fuck are you drinking milk for, ya fuckin' loser?!"

Steveson rolls his eyes and ignores Young, but the veteran smacks the milk carton out of his hand and to the floor! Steveson tells Young to "fuck off," but Young shoves him instead! A huge crowd of stagehands and wrestlers crowd them, with a level of separation being formed. Young puts his hands up, showing that he's cool. Heath approaches and picks up the carton of milk, half spilled on the concrete floor and takes a huge swig of it.

 

[ HEATH ] Ayy, boah! Y'AW AUGHTA RESPECT YER SUR-PEER-YURS!

 

[ GABLE STEVESON ] ...what?

 

[ HEATH ] YOU AUGHTA RIS-PECT BETTER RASSLERS THAN YOU!

 

[ GABLE STEVESON ] ...okay. Where are they?

 

The fans pop at Gable's indignant response to Heath's hazing and the man with no last name spits milk on a random stagehand.

In his horrible, raspy voice, Eric Young lays down the challenge for next week - Young and Heath versus Gable Steveson and a partner of his choice! "Good luck finding a partner, rookie," Young chokes out, as we fade back to ringside on a shot of Steveson.

 

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SINGLES MATCH:

KEITH LEE VS. SERPENTICO

REFEREE: RICH SWIFT

 

To say that Serpentico had a dog in this fight would insult even Michael Vick.

The poor luchador was absolutely out-classed by the debuing Keith Lee, who tossed him through the air with a big release suplex, clattered his bones with the Pounce, before mercifully ending it all with a scintillating Spirit Bomb for the academic three-count.

 

WINNER: KEITH LEE

via PINFALL (SPIRIT BOMB) in 2:04

 

As soon as the bell rings, Keith Lee looks up the ramp and notices his former partner, Shane Taylor, looking at him with his stupid, bulged-out eyes. Lee nods, but Taylor does not reciprocate, only shaking his head back and forth before muttering "no mercy, remember?" and walking away from the stage. Lee scrunches his face, confused, as we cut away from the action.

 

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Backstage, several women are at makeup, receiving their 'final touches' before the big battle royal later tonight. Eventually, the crowd dilutes to leave Madison Rayne and Mandy Leon remaining. Rayne rolls her eyes in the most horrid, obnoxious way, but is still more 'with it' than the vapid Leon, who is applying lip gloss. Leon, of course, goes dead behind the eyes when she puts on lip gloss, so she is dead-eyed staring into her reflection in the mirror.

 

[ MADISON RAYNE ] Bunch of hideous trolls, if you ask me. I swear, it's like you can only be talented or pretty these days...unless, of course...you're me.

 

Madison looks up, noticing Mandy's blank stare.

 

[ MADISON RAYNE ] Oh, or you.

 

[ ??? ] I can relate, bestie!

 

Madison, disgusted, turns to the site of the off-screen comment - the approaching Tammy Lynn Sytch!

 

[ TAMMY LYNN SYTCH ] I mean, did you see that one gorilla?! She looked like a man!

 

The crowd groans.

 

[ MANDY LEON ] ...that was a man, babe.

 

Mandy rolls her dead eyes as Tammy swallows.

 

[ TAMMY LYNN SYTCH ] Oh. I can't say I knew that...anyway! Girls, it's your lucky day - I'm back, bitch. AND...I'm looking for new clients.

 

The crowd respond, interested.

 

Madison responds, uninterested.

 

[ MADISON RAYNE ] Uh huh.

 

She and Mandy look at one another. Mandy decides to apply another coat of lip gloss, going dead behind the eyes yet again. Tammy steps forward and smiles, a little more firm than before.

 

[ TAMMY LYNN SYTCH ] Listen...I know exactly who you are because I was you. I was the hottest bitch in the world, too, and—

 

[ MADISON RAYNE ] That's right, you WERE! But what was that, Tam? Ten rehabs, twenty years, and thirty pounds ago?

 

The crowd "ohhhh" like they're on MTV's Yo Momma as Tammy seethes.

 

[ MADISON RAYNE ] ...best of luck finding some pathetic sap to ride coattails on. We've got a title to win. C'mon, Mands.

 

Rayne walks off, laughing, pulling Leon by the arm as she does. The camera centers its shot on Sytch, whose lips purse as an eyebrow raises defiantly.

 

[ TAMMY LYNN SYTCH ] ...we'll see what saps those end up being, you grotsky little beeyotch.

 

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CRWND IRON & BONE LEAGUE:

CESARO VS. BROCK ANDERSON

REFEREE: RICH SWIFT

 

With his father at ringside, Brock Anderson steps into the Iron and Bone League for the first time against Cesaro, a time-tested veteran of the grappling game. Anderson kept up with the mecha-athlete for a while, scoring a few takedowns before managing a series of vertical suplexes for a one-count.

Cesaro kicked into another gear, though, and left the second generation grappler in the dust, breezing by him with the Alpamare Waterslide, a twenty-rotation giant swing, then ensnaring Anderson in the Sharpshooter for the submission victory.

 

WINNER: CESARO

via SUBMISSION (SHARPSHOOTER) in 4:41

 

After the fall, Cesaro assisted Anderson to his feet, then left the ring, allowing Arn to instruct his son, though the camera followed the none-too-damaged Cesaro up the ramp, watching as he nods, proudly.

 

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The ring is set up with a sofa, a simple brown desk and matching chair, and a navy carpet. Inside, Joe Coffey is seated at the desk, with his brother Mark on the sofa. Wolfgang is on the floor, working "security" for Crowned's one and only interview show segment -

 

[ JOE COFFEY ] COFFEY TALK!

 

The fans boo as Coffey pontificates for a moment, speaking about how Gallus is set to continue their success through the winter and into 2022. "Enough about the future, though, let's look to the past," Coffey remarks, before introducing a man who he refers to as "a personal hero" and a "legend of independent wrestling," Samoa Joe.

The CRWND fans are majorly into Joe, who is facing a difficult task in staying healthy throughout the entirety of the Iron and Bone League. Coffey seems genuine in referencing that Joe is a personal hero, and pauses for a moment after Joe's thoughtful response to his query regarding health in a grueling league tournament.

 

[ JOE COFFEY ] Jowh. Aye can offah yew sumfing vat'el give yer'in etch in tha tourney...

 

He gestures with this thumb to himself, then Mark, blankly staring at Joe, and to Wolfgang on the floor.

 

[ JOE COFFEY ] Gallus. We're tha best dayum stable around, Joe...and hew'd make'a foine membah.

 

Joe pauses, smirking to the audience before replying calmly.

 

[ SAMOA JOE ] Thanks, Joe, but no thanks. In fairness, there's a lot of things about Gallus...

 

Joe hesitates, looking at Mark Coffey on the sofa, staring ahead at him blankly, then out at Wolfgang, who appears to be picking a wedgie, and grimaces. Swallowing, a smirk on his face, Joe rephrases.

 

[ SAMOA JOE ] There's a lot about you, Joe, that I admire. But I am what I've always been - a lone wolf. I work alone.

 

There's  firmness in his words, but Joe rises, nodding at Coffey, before stepping out of the ring, his music carrying us to the back.

 

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Backstage, Megan Morant is standing with a microphone, preparing to interview.

 

[ MEGAN MORANT ] My guest at this time... Sasha Banks.

 

Sasha steps into frame confidently and nods at Megan.

 

[ MEGAN MORANT ] Sasha, the first round of the CRWND Women's Title Tournament is nigh. How are you feeling?

 

Sasha removes her blinded sunglasses and looks, proud, to the camera.

 

[ SASHA BANKS ] I think it's about to be BLEEPkin' BOSS TIME, bitches! I hope you've got your watches tuned. And yeah, Megan, I feel like the baddest bitch in the room. I know I have eyes on me, and I want them there, because it's my time to shine. If you're not ready for all this light, I suggest you watch and learn right now.

 

Sasha replaces her shades, nods to indicate you'd better follow suit if you're not down with her, and walks away, leaving Morant nodding robotically in frame.

 

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WOMENS TITLE TOURNAMENT: ROUND 1: BATTLE ROYAL:

THE ENTIRE WOMEN'S ROSTER COLLIDES!

REFEREE: D.A. BREWER

 

God Bless D.A. Brewer, who had his hands filled with the 24 women currently signed to Crowned Pro Wrestling in this battle royal contest. Things got started quickly, as Nyla Rose, Raquel Gonzalez, and Jade Cargill met in center ring, absolutely bashing one another with stiff shots as the rest of the roster looked on in shock.

Little Mean Kathleen was none-too-plussed, and rushed in to get in on the fight - but was hurled out of the way and over the ropes by Gonzalez and Cargill.

No 'fresh face' made quite the impression as Erica Leigh, whose brilliant smile was only matched by her bizarre personality and her incredible technical wrestling ability. Running circles around Mandy Leon, Brandi Lauren, and Zayda Ramier, she racked up a quick three eliminations before meeting her match in Leyla Hirsch.

"Legit" Leyla outwrestled Erica Leigh, but Leigh threw a low blow, connecting to the babymaker behind Brewer's back to cast out her match-leading fourth elimination.

"The Boss" Sasha Banks was uncharacteristically silent through the match, as she found herself in a battle of one-ups-manship with Kiera Hogan, whose "daddy," Hulk Hogan shouted thinly-veiled insults at Banks from the floor. Neither Hogan nor Banks would score an elimination through the match.

Meiko Satomura eliminated the raging Maria Manic late in the match, using her many years of experience to take out one of Raven's charges. Jamie Hayter scored a measure of notoriety in the match, casting out Kimber Lee and Elektra Lopez over the contest.

Madison Rayne, fresh off her interaction with Tammy Lynn Sytch earlier in the night, was quick to cast out Mia Yim, following it with a series of slurs related to her ill-received "street tough" gimmick.

Nyla Rose scored a pair of eliminations, bullying Kacy Catanzaro and Dani Luna from the match using her massive power. From ringside, Vickie Guerrero, sporting a new pair of pants, shouted her support of "the Native Beast."

With a single elimination left to be made, Raquel Gonzalez had Kellyanne on the ropes, literally and figuratively, until Naomi blindsided Natalya Neidhart, sending her over the ropes to the floor in a heap. Shocked, Nattie rose to her feet, and asked Naomi "why?" Naomi, however, offered no answers, only a sly smile and a shrug as we faded to the back.

 

WINNERS: ERICA LEIGH, JADE CARGILL, JAMIE HAYTER, KELLYANNE,

KIERA HOGAN, MADISON RAYNE, MEIKO SATOMURA, NAOMI,

NYLA ROSE, RAQUEL GONZALEZ, SASHA BANKS, AND SU YUNG

via ELIMINATION in 19:27

 

ELIMINATIONS:

1. LITTLE MEAN KATHLEEN by CARGILL & GONZALEZ

2. MANDY LEON by ERICA LEIGH

3. ZAYDA RAMIER by ERICA LEIGH

4. BRANDI LAUREN by ERICA LEIGH

5. KIMBER LEE by JAMIE HAYTER

6. MIA YIM by MADISON RAYNE

7. ELEKTRA LOPEZ by JAMIE HAYTER

8. LEYLA HIRSCH by ERICA LEIGH

9. KACY CATANZARO by NYLA ROSE

10. DANI LUNA by NYLA ROSE

11. MARIA MANIC by MEIKO SATOMURA

12. NATALYA NEIDHART by NAOMI

 

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Mick Foley is stirring a cup of coffee in his new office, admiring the scenery, when there's a knock at his door. He welcomes in Subculture, Mark Andrews and 'Flash' Morgan Webster, who are smiling politely at the new General Manager. Foley greets them politely, and asks what he can do for them.

 

[ 'FLASH' MORGAN WEBSTER ] Ya'see, Mistah Foley, we'ah a wee bit curious about the Tag Team Championships. You've detailed your plans for the Heavyweight and Womens' championships, but ya' neva mentioned the tag championships.

 

Andrews nods, agreeing, and Foley sits his coffee down, agreeing that he didn't mention anything, but gestures that "it looks like they're interested in the plans, too."

Subculture turn around to reveal the War Raiders, in full gear and face paint, ominously glaring at the conversation. Foley strokes his chin and prepares to make a ruling, but before he can, the door slams open yet again.

 

[ SAM STOKER ] WHOA! NO! NO! NO! Not yet!

 

[ LEWIS HOWLEY ] Mistah Foleh, not yet!

 

Pretty Deadly rush in, shoving by the War Raiders and through Subculture, Stoker shaking off whatever grease or sweat rubbed off from the War Raiders. Foley has an bemused look on his face, but listens as Howley details the accomplishments and pedigree of Pretty Deadly.

 

[ SAM STOKER ] So that's why, Mistah Foleh, we have a verah simple solution to the question of "wut about tha tag champ'inships?"

 

[ LEWIS HOWLEY ] Mistah Foleh - make US the Tag Team Champions. We're the best team in the company anyway, let's allow the simple things to be made so.

 

Foley's expression has shifted radically.

 

[ MICK FOLKEY ] ...you're the Crowned Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions.

 

Subculture are shocked, the War Raiders haven't flinched, and the fans are roaring with boos.

 

[ MICK FOLEY ] However...next week, we're going to crown number one contenders...because Subculture...are going to face...the War Raiders! And...you two...

 

Foley points to the new champions.

 

[ MICK FOLEY ] ...are going to be the special guest referees.

 

Pretty Deadly look a bit shocked, but nod, accepting the ruling, and scoot before anything else can come down. Subculture and War Raiders soon follow, and Foley nods, proud, before taking a drink of his coffee.

 

He spits it out.

 

It's cold.

 

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MAIN EVENT:

CRWND IRON & BONE LEAGUE:

BRYAN DANIELSON VS. BIFF BUSICK

REFEREE: JOHN CONE

 

To conclude the debut edition of CRWND Prime, two of the finest technicians and most brutal bruisers on the roster had an absolute slug-fest, only stopping to breathe as they covered or were covered in attempts to end the wild melee.

Biff Busick was a house of fire from the word go, diving into Danielson with all his weight and connecting on a big running blockbuster for a late-game two-count. Danielson dug deep, though, and kicked out, snaring the man on top with a gogoplata, nearly wrenching it tightly enough to earn the submission nod.

Finally, the contest ended when Danielson flipped out of a half-nelson suplex, connecting on the run with a Knee+ to earn the three count and two points in league pool play as our show goes off the air, the fans chanting "YES!" the entire way.

 

WINNER: BRYAN DANIELSON

via PINFALL (KNEE+) in 13:56

CROWNED PRO WRESTLING IS THE PROUD 'BIG BROTHER' PROMOTION TO TWO UPSTARTS IN THE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING WORLD.

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ALL TRADEMARKS PROPERTY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS. CROWNED PRO WRESTLING IS WRITTEN BY ANDREW T. WHEELER, © 2021