Gracia Burnham is the widow of Martin Burnham, who served for 17 years as a missionary pilot in the Philippines. The Burnhams were kidnapped and held as hostages in the jungle for more than a year by a radical terrorist group before Martin was killed in a rescue attempt in the summer of 2002. Gracia spoke recently with Assistant Editor Ashli O’Connell.
PE: Do you think most Christians are prepared for the test of faith that you and Martin faced?
BURNHAM: God says He doesn’t test you beyond what you are able to endure. I think each person’s testing must be in proportion to what faith God has given them. I don’t think I was able to drum up any special faith when I was going through this. I think it was all God’s doing. He gave me what I needed day by day. Walking closely with Him and knowing His Word well is really going to help you when you face whatever testing comes your way.
PE: You are candid in your book about your struggle with faith and anger with God. How did you reconcile that in the jungle?
BURNHAM: One of the hardest things about our captivity was that I realized what kind of person I was. I always thought I was a pretty good Christian — and then I found myself feeling hatred and covetousness and all these things I didn’t want to think existed in me. But God showed me I didn’t have to beat myself over the head with all that. You just acknowledge your sin, ask forgiveness and go on. If I had hit myself over the head with my sinfulness I never would have gotten out of the depression I was in out there. I learned a lot about my sinfulness, but I also learned a lot about God’s grace.
PE: And what did you learn about God’s will?
BURNHAM: God’s will is not our will. If all this had been up to me, this wouldn’t have happened. It certainly wouldn’t have gone on for a year, and it most certainly wouldn’t have ended with Martin’s death. But God has a plan. I remember one day the kids and I were out driving and they had a CD playing. The song was "God Is God and I Am Not" by Steven Curtis Chapman. I had never heard that song before — I’d been in the jungle for a year — and that song just said it all for me. God’s will is always right and always good. I feel like God’s will was done in this whole thing whether I liked it or not. I’m not going to try to second-guess God’s goodness or His plan.
PE: What do you want the world to know about Martin Burnham?
BURNHAM: Martin was an ordinary guy who loved the Lord. I got to watch him live out his faith for a year in a horrible situation, and he was just a normal guy who let the Lord use him. I think he would laugh if he heard people say he was a hero.
PE: How are you and your children doing today?
BURNHAM: Very well. We laugh a lot together. We talk about Martin a lot. On the whole we’re doing really well. I can’t really explain that. I think we’ve just chosen to go on and trust God.
PE: Any other thoughts?
BURNHAM: Each person can make a difference in his or her corner of the world. You don’t have to go to a foreign land; you don’t have to dream for an elusive career. Right where God’s put you, you can make a difference if you’ll just allow Him to use you. I encourage people to go for it.
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Assemblies of God USA