I don�t own *N Sync- Britney Spears- Lou Pearlman- BOP- Nick Carter- Spice Girls- That Topanga person- or Scream 3
~~~~Scream 3 Staring� *NSYNC~~~~
<the phone rings. Justin gets up from his couch to answer it.>
Justin: Yello?
Scary Voice: Hello, Justin.
Justin: Um, who be dis?
Scary Voice: Well, you tell me.
Justin: I gots no ideas.
Scary Voice: Do you like scary movies?
Justin: Yeah g! I saw that Spice Girls movie 20 times, yo!
Scary Voice: That�s not what I�m talking about you Fucking idiot! I mean HORROR movies! Like, �Halloween H2O� or �Friday the 13th� �=94� or something like that!
Justin: Ohhh! Nah, homes, I don�t watch much shit like that. At �east not without my mommy around� hold up a minute, who da hell is dis? I�ve gotta fly honey comin� over in a second, so I can�t be wasting my flava on you!
Scary Voice: Her name wouldn�t be� Britney-would it?
Justin: HELLS NO! I wouldn�t touch that skank if ya�ll PAID me!
Scary Voice: Then who the hell do I have tied up on your patio?
Justin: WHAT?!
<Justin runs and turns on the patio lights. There sits Britney, gaged, tied to a chair, her knees bashed in, brushed and bleeding�>
Justin: Yo- it�s abouts time someone did that!
Scary Voice: We�re gonna play a little game, Justin. If you answer the question right Britney lives. If you get it wrong, then I kill her and leave her body in your Benz.
Justin: My Benz! Oh my God, da blood would never come out of the upholstery! [Justin starts to cry.} Okay, Okay! I�ll play yo� game, g!
Scary Voice: First question� name the other members of NSYNC in 10 seconds or less.
Justin: [Pausing] Uhh. Well� um there�s JC, � what�s-his-face Chris!� uh, there�s one named Lance, right? Okay that�s four�
Scary Voice: Times up! Say bye-bye to Britney!
<Justin watches in horror as Britney is gutted and her fat rolls out falling all over the patio.>
Scary Voice: Now, Justin. On to Round Two� what color are you?
Justin: What?
Scary Voice: You heard me, what COLOR are you?!
<No answer from Justin>
Scary Voice: Are you BLACK or WHITE, Justin?
Justin: [finally, after a hesitation, he answers�] Yo, is dis a trick question?
Scary Voice: Wrong answer Justin!
< A shadowy masked man, suddenly jumps trough the glass door. He stabs Justin 34 time (violent much?) and hangs his body from the rafters.>
Justin (Dying): Joey! �Dats.. who da other�one..is!
<The next day the horrible news comes out�>
Lance (hanging up the phone): Hey, you guys, I got some bad news. Somebody killed Justin last night.
Chris: WHAT!
JC: Oh my God! Justin�s dead?! Without Justin, we�re ruined! Who else can even get 8-year-olds sexually aroused but him? Certainly not any of us.
Joey: Hey, when are we eating?
Chris: Is that all you can think about? My BEST FRIEND is dead! He was the only one who ever laughed at my jokes! I�m screwed!
Lance: But hey, on the plus side, somebody killed Britney too.
JC: Well, I guess every cloud does have it�s silver lining.
<Their manager Lou Pearlman enters the room>
Lou: Boy, I�m sure you�ve heard the terrible news. I�m probably losing thousands of dollars as we speak. Anyway to be on the safe side, I�m imposing a curfew on you. You must all be indoors by 9 o�clock.
<He exits>
Chris: What a fat piece of shit.
Joey (looking up from his bag of chips): huh?
Chris: No, not you Joey. I was talking about Lou.
Joey: Oh. (goes back eating Chips)
JC: So what are we going to do?
Lance: Well, if we have to be in by nine, why don�t we invite all of our friends over so we won�t be lonely?
JC: Yeah, but Lamce, you don�t have any friends.
Lance� Oh yeah. Okay, why don�t we just all get wasted and make fun of Joey instead?
JC and Chris: Okay!
<At Lance�s House>
Chris: Hey, can somebody get me another beer?
Lance: Yaeh, me too.
JC: Me three.
<all look at Joey>
Joey: How come I�m always the one who has to get the beer?
JC: What else are you good for?
Lance: Hey Joey, I think there�s a coke in the garage.
Joey: Coke?
Lance (nodding): Yeah, a Superman-shaped one. You can have it if you get us more beer.
Joey: SUPERMAN-SHAPED!! Oh, my, God, I think I just had an orgasm!
JC: That was more then I needed to know.
<Joey runs into the gerge and looks around excitedly. His excitement soon turns to confusion.>
Joey: Hey, I don�t see any coke! But Lance wouldn�t LIE to me! I�ve shared too much of myself with him to do that!
<As Joey turns around to leave he comes face to face with the dark, scary ghost-faced man.>
Joey: What the hell?
<Then the dark man lunged at Joey with a blood cover knife. Joey shricks and tries to squeeze through the cat door, only to find his head is the oly thing he can fit.>
Joey: Well, this is� awkward.
<The man presses the garage door opener and Joey is decapitated. Poor Joey. Meanwhile, else where in the house�>
JC (returning from the bathroom, YES, contrary to tennybopper belief, NSYNC DOES use the bathroom!): Hey guys, what�s taking Joey so long?
Chris: Who cares? He�s gone. Let�s enjoy the moment.
JC: Well, I�m going to check on him.
<JC enters and sees Joey�s body hanging from the door. Suppressing the urge to vomit, he runs back to the living room to tell Chris and Lance what he�d discovered.>
JC(paninkcing): You guys! Joey�s dead! I saw his body hanging� (trailing off) Uh, guys, whay are you SMILING like that?
<Lance and Chris look at each other and begain to laugh.>
Lance: What�s not to smile abut? Justin�s dead, Joey�s dead, and soon you�ll be dead. (Lance raises a bloody knife and slowly advances towards JC.) You like my knife? It�s an antique. As BOP reported, I really do collect them. But you already knew that, didn�t you, JC? That�s because you know everything, don�t you?
JC: Chris! Help me out mere!
Chris: Help? HELP? Why? So you can steal more of my solos later? I don�t think so.
JC: Why? Why would you do something like this?
Lance: Why? �Cause I�m from MISSI-FUCKING-SSIPPI, THAT�S WHY! Or how �bout this? Let�s see, how would you feel if people constantly told you that you couldn�t dance, that you were really a girl, and that you were having sex with JOEY?! You would want to kill people too!
JC: You�ve got a point.. but Lnace, all those things are true.
Lance: Shut the Fuck up!
JC: Chris? What about you, what�s YOUR motive, huh?�
Chris: My motive? I�m a 27 year old virgin (not really, but whatever) with dreadlocks, and the only people who find me as a sexual being are under the age of fourteen. Plus, I�m the CRAZY one of the group! It comes with the territory.
JC: Fair enough.
Lance: But you haven�t seen the best part. (lance snaps his fingers.) Chris! Bring the surprise!
<Chris enteres dragging a blond boy, gagged and bond.>
JC: Oh my God! You�ve kidnapped Nick Carter!
Lance: Picture this; Nick relizes that he is not the number one sex symbol in America anymore because of a certain JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. He snaps, and goes on a killing spree. He kills all the members of NSYNC, except, of course, me and Chris.
Chirs: Being the stupid fuck he is, he forgets that we�re in the group� actually, most people tend to forget that.
Lance: Then the reality of what he�s done hits him, and he kills himself. It�s perfect!
JC: Yeah, except� hey, what�s Topanga doing here?
<Lance turns quickly. Just then JC kicks the knife out of Lance�s hand and grabs�s it. He stabs Chris in the forehead. Chirs stumbles and falls face-first into the kitty-litter box.>
Lance: Wow, he finally did something funny.
JC: I�ll say.
<JC and Lance start to fight. Carter wets his pants for the fifth time. Finally, JC manages to tip the refrigerator over, chrushing Lance�s skull. JC unties Nick.>
Nick (Runs and hugs JC) : Oh, JC! You�re my hero!
JC: Dude, get the fuck off of me. (JC brushes himself off) Hey, now I can finally have a solo career! What a great ending! I�m freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
.,.,.,.,THE END.,.,.,.,