started. 2:35pm EST

I set my alarm for 8:05am this morning. And, while I did wake up then, I did not get up until 11ish.

It is going to rain. It was thundering moments ago, despite the blazing quality the sky had about it. Presently, though, I can see the clouds gathering. Or, rather, I can see the air dimming. If that makes any sense at all.

When I was young, I had a neighbor that lived across the street named Christy. She was about 15 when I was 5. Or something like that. She seemed impossibly older and elegant to me. She wasn't. But little girls tend to gloss over facts like that when they're looking for Idols. That's the same reason Ashley looked up to me for so long... But I digress. One day it started to rain and the sun was bright and shining. Not terribly strange, but it mystified me. Rain without clouds. Imagine that. Christy told me that everytime it rained while the sun was out it meant that the Devil was beating his wife. I stared at her, shocked.

I don't remember where I was going with that. Sometimes I think of the old neighborhood at odd moments. I've been thinking of those people a lot today. For better or for worse.

God. I feel so lost today. So lost.