12:13pm EST I didn't get to sleep until very early in the AM yesterday. Bad thoughts plauged me. Guilt plauged me. I feel like such a horrible, horrible person. And I hate who I have become. Mostly. *sigh* What have I let become of me? I wonder how bad the example I am setting for my brother is, and how much respect he has lost for me. 10:58pm EST Okay. So I talked to Manda and I did a lot of major thinking today. About that mood swing that brought on that earlier post. And what caused it. I think I feel better. We'll see if it lasts. I e-mailed Jane today. And several other people. I'm trying to keep in touch. With everyone. Via snail mail and the internet. It's difficult for me, who has a tendancy to freeze people out of my life. Somehow, it has become utterly important for me not to let go. To anyone. Letting go is when bad things happen to me. And I have this migrane that is living with me now. At night I have trouble sleeping because it is pulsing in my mind. And... I'm going to quit now.