Immediately I was offered four coats. Nikki�s best friend Renee grabbed one and kneeled down beside us. She put her knees right behind Nikki�s head and put the balled-up coat on top of them to support Nikki�s head. Someone else put their coat over Nikki�s upper body, covering the wound and my hand. Renee�s sobbing was rocking her entire body.
�Hang on, hon,� Renee told Nikki.
�Please hang on, babe. It�s only two more weeks until Graduation. You gotta be around for the killer party I�m throwing.�
�Lee,� Nikki whispered.
�Yea?� I asked, my voice cracking from the thought of losing her.
�I�ve always loved you, babe. More than a friend. I shoulda told you earlier.�
I stared Nikki right in the face, realizing that I was going to lose her. I leaned down, closed my eyes, and kissed her lips. When I opened my eyes again, she almost seemed to smile.
�One thing I�ve wanted since the day I met ya,� she said. �Too bad I got it on my last day with you.�
�Don�t say that, baby. You�re going to be fine,� I said.
�Damn straight you are,� Renee agreed.
Nikki�s body began to convulse.
�I love you two. I love y��
Her body stopped convulsing and her chest stopped rising. Renee lowered her head and her body shook violently with grief.
My body shook along with Renee�s and my heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds.
�Nikki!!� I screamed. �Nikki!!�
Two minutes later, I finally heard the sirens in the distance. When the paramedics pulled into the empty lot and got the gurney out, the police began to push all the gawkers back into Pizza Hut�s parking lot.
�You�re too late,� I told them as they came up behind us.
They asked me to move and I watched as they took her pulse, proving that I was right. After another half hour, the coroner finally showed up. The high school principal had shown up fifteen minutes after it had happened and asked everyone to go back to school. Only the guys that had helped keep John and his friends on the scene, plus Renee and I, were allowed to stay. I watched in a now silent grief as the coroner and crime lab guys took pictures of the scene and asked general questions about what had happened from everyone, including me.
After that additional twenty minutes or so, the coroner finally started to get things ready so that he could take Nikki�s body to the morgue. Renee and I stood in the lot, our principal trying to console us for our loss. When the car was finally out of the lot and out of my sight, I looked down saw her blood on my hand. The tears came back into my eyes. I shut my eyes and remembered everything I could about Nikki.
The first day we had met and became instant friends, the first movie we had seen together, the first party we had been to together, and the first and only kiss we had ever shared. I could remember how everyday she tried so hard to beat me up, but could never even come close to hurting me. I could still hear her unmistakable laugh and see her glowing smile. I could still taste her blood on my lips.
Now, three months after my high school graduation, I see or hear something everyday that reminds me of Nikki. John was given a life sentence after being convicted for first-degree murder. Since his friends hadn�t known that John had had a gun, they weren�t convicted for a serious crime. But since most of them were supposed to be in school, they were arrested for truancy. Renee and I are still trying to cope with our loss. Plus, Ray and I still talk about that last conversation that he and Nikki had had.
I always ask myself �What if I would have called her?� or �What if I had been on time to meet her before lunch?� But Ray tells me I can ask myself hundreds of �what if� questions, but it won�t bring Nikki back and will only make me feel worse. Slowly the days go by and I ask fewer �what if� questions each day.
But my walls are plastered with pictures of Nikki and old shoeboxes are filled with letters and cards that she had given me. The clothes that I was wearing the day that she was killed are put away in a Rubbermaid tote in my closet and the newspaper clippings from the local paper are in the scrapbook that my mother bought for me.
Everyday I wake up and see my best friend�s face smiling at me from emotionless pictures. Even though I�m slowly pulling through her death, I realize that it�s my fault. I f only I had listened when she said that John had told her that no one else would ever love her after they had broken up. If only I had been on time to meet her at lunch. If only I had realized something was wrong as soon as I saw John. If only everyone else can realize that my actions killed Nikki. If only they can realize the truth�