The loud slam of an automobile door echoes throughout the night, startling the nocturnal life and sending sound waves rippling throughout the great expanse of Canadian wilderness.  Another opens and closes, and two voices can be heard.  One is deep, slow, and methodical in its verbalization...the other is raspy, loud, and vengeful.  It is the voices of two men, argueing under a blanket of stars, stopped at the side of an old, rarely used road on the outskirts of a small forest near Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

The air is frigid and bites at the exposed flesh of the men, and their breath appears in the form of small clouds.  Beneath their boots, the frozen foliage crunches and cracks, and their static vehicle creaks as its temperature adjusts.  The vehicle is a GMC Jimmy, with cracked, chipping grey paint, and several dents.  It has seen its fair share of wear and tear, and its tires and underside are caked with mud.  Inside the vehicle, a small person bearing a mask sleeps on the seat.  Outside, one man opens up the back of the vehicle and withdraws a large burner, a tank of gas, and a deep, round, black, cast iron wok pot, while another man drives a closed fist into the hood of the car, denting it.

One man wears a large, red and grey coat, some black sweat pants, and some muddy black boots.  The other wears a dark mask which reflects the light of the moon and the stars, a tattered grey coat, some black jeans, and some brown boots.  While the man in the red sets up the burner and the tank at the rear of the vehicle, the masked man once again hits the automobile and begins to speak angrily.

Creature: Damn it!  My recent loss to Complicated is the most public of my many humiliations!  Curse this terrible life!

The masked man, otherwise known as the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion Creature, attacks the GMC Jimmy once again, this time startling the sleeping midget inside the vehicle.  As the man in the red coat successfully attaches the long, black rubber hose of the burner to the tank of gas, he snaps back at Creature.

Jack: Hey!  Would ya cut it out man?  Lil' Creach is trying to sleep!

Creature snorts and stomps around to the back of the Jimmy, where he watches as Jack withdraws a long lighter from inside his coat.

Creature: What the hell is your problem Jack?  Huh?  Lil' Creach is trying to sleep!?  I don't even know why the hell that little half pint is with us, nor do I care.  Jack, don't you see- we lost a HANDICAP match this past week.  That means two on one.  You know that right?  You were there, right?  Hmph.

Jack turns on the gas and looks over his shoulder at Creature.

Jack: Yeah, I know all about our damn loss man.  But I don't wanna worry about that right now- I'm hungry.  So let's just enjoy the meal I'm gonna make, and talk about it later.

Jack nods towards Creature, who sighs and returns the movement.

Jack: Alright.  Now stand back while I summon forth the BTU's!

Creature takes a step backward, with arms akimbo, and watches on as Jack carefully slides his arm underneath the burner, and ignites a flame on the burner.  He carefully uses the aspirator to adjust the flame's intensity, making sure it is a powerful, blue flame.  He then sets the wok atop the burner, and backs away himself.  Jack Duncan turns back to the open Jimmy, and begins rummaging for a styrofoam cooler, while Creature moves forward and begins warming himself with the heat of the flame.  Jack notices this, and quickly turns around to admonish his partner.

Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!  Just what are you doing?  Get away from there, you'll disturb the woke`!

Creature rises and tilts his head, staring back at Jack Duncan.

Creature: And just what the hell is woke`?

Jack: It is the spirit of the wok.  It is what controls the wok.

Creature snorts and looks down at the wok, which now glows with heat.

Creature: It's a God damn pot Jack.

Jack shakes his head "No" in response.

Jack: Woke` is the heat, man.  And if you fuck around near the burner, you'll fuck up the heat, okay?

Creature grins for a moment, but his scowl soon returns.

Creature:  You're an idiot.  Always watching your God damn cooking shows and reading your stupid little magazines, but when it comes match time, where the hell are you?  I can't count on you.  Damn...

Creature turns away from Jack Duncan, looks down at the ground, and clenchs both fists.  The rage inside is starting to take over, but he cannot allow himself to explode upon his ally, Jack Duncan.

Creature: Jack...

Jack: Yeah man?

Creature rotates back around and glares at Jack Duncan.

Creature: Wolverine was right.  You've always let me down, and you always will!

Jack takes a step backward in shock.

Jack: Wait, wait a second.  Maybe you should have something to drink.  Here...

Jack reaches into his crimson coat and removes a small flask.  As he begins to open it, Creature swats it from his hand, sending it to the ground.  Jack's lower jaw drops open with surprise, and Creature points down at the flask in anger.

Creature: It's that Jack!  It's that damn habit of yours!  If we are going to be the Tag Team Champions, if you are going to be seen with ME, the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, then you have got to stop drinking.

Jack slightly shakes his head back and forth.

Jack: I-I-I...I can't.  It's a disease man.

Creature: BULLSHIT!  This Thursday night on Loaded, we have a chance to become the HCW World Tag Team Champions.  You have a shot at your first gold here in HCW, Jack.  I want you fucking clean, Jack.  I want you off the fucking bottle for this Thursday.  Jack- I want the Tag Team Titles.  And I'm not going to let your motherfucking hobby get in my way!  IN OUR WAY!

Jack Duncan sighs and glances down at his feet for a moment.  He kicks at some dirt, then looks back up at his comrade, Creature.  He nods.

Jack: I'll see what I can do.

Suddenly, Creature's anger melts away.  His fists open up, and his tensed muscles relax.  He grins at Jack, who turns back to the Jimmy and retrieves the cooler he was searching for.

Creature: I know you'll do the right thing, my friend.  I know you'll do the right thing for the Force.  For the HCW Tag Team Titles.

Jack Duncan nods and emmits a grunt as he opens the cooler up, and begins to take out bottles of prepared vegetables, spices, and seasonings.  He then removes a small Glad plastic baggie containing a white meat.  He waves the bag in Creature's direction, who squints to identify the contents.

Creature: What the hell is that?

Jack beams with pride before answering.

Jack: Why it is squid, of course.  The ultimate wok food, the ultimate tail gating food.  And seeing as I have the Swiss Army Knife of cookware, a wok pot, right here, I figure for a quick meal, I'll prepare my favorite squid dish.

From behind his mask, Creature raises and eyebrow and peers quizzically at Jack.

Creature: And what would that be?

Jack: Why...Squid Vicious, of course.

Creature smirks and nods.

Creature: I'm no stranger to Japanese cuisine, but I've never heard of that.

Jack: That's because my favorite TV cook Alton Brown came up with it.

Creature: Well just hurry up with it.  I agree to go on this little "raod trip" with you, but make no mistake about it- we aren't travelling for adventure, we aren't travelling for fun, and we aren't travelling to eat squid- we are travelling to Calgary to compete for the freshly vacated HCW Tag Team Championship, and there are two teams we need to be focusing on.

Jack shrugs off Creature's words, and dumps the prepared squid into the wok, instantly sending steam up into the air.

Creature: Are you sure you know what you are doing?  I didn't see you use any oil or lubricant of any kind.

Jack pauses and looks over his shoulder at Creature.

Jack: Once again...the key to the wok, is in the woke`.  It needs no assistance.  Now, speak amongst yourself, because when woking, one must work fast!

Creature nods, crosses his arms in front of his chest, and wleans against Jack's old GMC Jimmy, pondering the three team Tag Team match for the HCW Tag Team Championship this Thursday night.

Creature: Hmph.  The Forsaken and the Renegadez.  What fool believed these teams deserved to compete for the number one contendership to the HCW Tag Team Titles, and now for the titles themselves?  Oh...I know.  Jon Savage.  The same swollen postule who neglected to even mention Jack and I's work all those months ago, the work we have just now claimed credit for- breaking his two feeble legs.  Indeed, we committed the heinous crime for his own brother in law Chris Valentino, but more so, we did it for ourselves.  I was the reigning HCW Hardcore Champion during that period of time, and I was being neglected when it came to opportunities and matches of the higher caliber.  And Jack Duncan...he was mistreated and misused from the moment he set foot in HCW.  So we set out to teach him a lesson.  A lesson which he clearly did not learn, as even to this day, he could care less about us.  He's more focused on Kevin Gill, who in his own right, deserves to be the sole owner and official presiding of Hardcore Championship Wrestling.  Let's face it- Gill is smater, savier, more ruthless- and clearly has better taste, as two straight HCW Pay Per Views he has chosen me to be his champion, his flagship, his GOD.  But I best digress, because just thinking about Savage makes my blood boil...

The tormented World Champion inhales deeply, and exhales slowly, calming himself.  He allows the thoughts of Jon Savage to slip into the deep recesses of his subconscience for the time being, while he focuses on Thursday's match.

Creature: The HCW Tag Team Championship...a title I have held once before, only with a man nowhere near my league.  A man whose name I will not mention...a man who I hate!  Never the less, this Thursday will bring the chance to gain the Tag Team Titles with a man I do hold with high esteem to some extent.  It would be a lie to claim he has been successful here in HCW...so far.  But it would also be a lie to claim he is not loyal, he is not skilled, and he will never be a great champion.  Because the simple fact is that Jack Duncan has all the tools to become the second best here in HCW, behind me of course, and if I can successfully keep him off the bottle going into Loaded, he will taste his first HCW gold in the form the HCW Tag Team Titles.  Of course, Jack Duncan's lack of victory here in HCW will only help our cause, because I have the feeling that our opponents will underestimate him and his abilities.  I have the feeling that they will laugh at him, and mockingly shout, "PILEDRIVER!"  Hmph.  It won't be so funny when it is their skulls driven into the canvas and their necks awkwardly contorted with the move.

Creature pauses once more, and glances over at Jack Duncan, who is busily woking up the meal he calls "Squid Vicious."  It appears to be almost ready, as Jack takes the wok by the stout handle and gives it a flick, sending some of its contents up into the air.  Jack successfully catches most of the food in the wok, but some is scattered across the earthen ground.

Creature: Our opponents can laugh all they want, and they can brag all they want, and they can promise all they want, but they too are not without flaw.  Take...heh...Wolverine for example.  This is a man, who, on multiple occasions I have defeated.  This is a man who I have broken down throughout my stay here in HCW, and this is a man who I buried alive, and would love to see rot six feet deep.  I know he remembers what it was like having the air choked out of him by pounds of dirt, having the light blocked from his eyes by the lid of a casket, and knowing that the man who put you there will never be happy until you are dead.  It seems that his ordeal, courtesy the Masked Man of HCW, has made him worse for wear, as he now participates in odd, ridiculous ceremonies with his new found partner, Nightmare.  And Nightmare...he promised to defeat me from the moment he first appeared in HCW!  And this Thursday, he will get his chance.  He will have the opportunity to try and take me out- but he will FAIL!  Because Nightmare can take part in such festivities as DTI- Dunk The Interviewer, but come Loaded, he will be BBC- Beaten By Creature.  Hell, the as far as I'm concerned, it won't make much difference if the Forsaken leave Loaded DOA- Dead Or Alive- because the only thing that really matters is the fact that it will be Jack and I, the Force, who stand above all the other teams in HCW as the World Tag Team Champions.

Creature stops his speech as Jack Duncan calls out to him from the back of the Jimmy.

Jack: It's almost ready man.

Creature nods to himself before responding.

Creature: Ah...then there are the Renegadez.  Bobby Rage and Markus Maximus- I hope you two don't think I have forgotten about the Loaded before Unleashed.  It was there that you came together, and it was ther that you stood over me, along with several others, celebrating your union.  I haven't spoken much of that night, of that event, but I'll tell you this much- this Thursday night, retribution is at hand, and along with Jack Duncan, I will tear into you like a cheetah into a gazelle.  Hmph.

After checking around the back of the Jimmy and watching as Jack rummages for two eating surfaces in the back of the vehicle, Creature continues.

Creature: Bobby Rage...I think it would be best if you returned home to Edmonton you Damned Canadian, because you are definitely depriving the village of its idiot.  Do you really think that you stand a chance against me, the Undi-Fucking-Sputed World Heavyweight Champion, let alone Jack Duncan as well?  Hell son, you could barely defeat that stupid drug lord Ramon Calderon, who just happens to be dead.  You are no where near my league, and to infer so would be a crime punishable by death.  But then again, you were stupid enough to join the Renegadez and humiliate me, so you are already sentenced to die this Thursday.  And then there is your partner, Markus Maximus.  I'm not quite sure who the hell he thinks he is, but I am sure I know WHAT he thinks he is- hot shit.  I'm sure he believs he is hot shit because of how quickly he has risen here in HCW.  I'm sure he thinks he is hot shit because he beat The Show.  But let me remind him of something- I'm not the Show.  I'm Creature.  I'm the God of HCW.  And at Loaded, there will be no escape from the Crossface Chickenwing, there will be no escape from the Prince's Crown, there will be no escape from...the...Abyss.

Jack Duncan calls out in the distance, and Creature moves around once again to the caboose of the old, rugged GMC Jimmy.  He sees Jack Duncan take the wok by the handle and empty some of its contents into two small bowls, and then set them on the ground.

Jack: It's ready man.  Dig in.

Creature glares down at Jack, and shakes his head.

Creature: Dig in with what, Jack?  I see no utentils.  I don't even see a place to sit.  Moron.

Jack chuckles a bit.

Jack: Who needs silverware?  You're a man right?  Eat with your hands!

Jack grabs up one of the small, blue bowls and takes a handful of the chopped squid and vegetables.  He opens his mouth wide and dumps the food in, then begins to chew.  He smiles gleefully at Creature, proud of his display, then sets his bowl back down on the ground and rises.

Jack: Want something to drink?

Creature simply stares at Jack, then snorts and kneels down in front of the wok, which still rests on the lit burner.  He lifts up his bowl, and tentatively pokes at the contents.  It may not be the Japanese cuisine he is used to at Nobu in New York, but it will suffice.

Creature: Jack-

Jack: Yeah man?

Creature: Why do you still have the wok on?

Jack: Clean up.  I'll show you later.

Creature sighs and takes a large handful of the meal into his mouth.  It is hot, with crunchy vegetales and soft, slightly chewy squid.  Not bad at all.  He looks over at Jack as he pulls a bottle of beer from the cooler in the back of the Jimmy.

Creature: What the hell are you doing?

Jack shrugs and opens the bottle.

Jack: Getting a drink.

Creature sets his bowl down and jumps to his feet.  As Jack raises the bottle to his lips, Creature reaches forth and snatches it out of his hand.  Jack looks stunned, but only for a moment.  His expression soon moves from astounded to depressed.

Creature: No drinking.  Idiot.

Jack: Fine.

Creature heaves the booze out into the wilderness, and takes his "seat" once again.  Jack picks up his bowl and leans agains the Jimmy.

Creature: Jack...I hope you understand that I want you on top of your game this Thursday.  You simply cannot have an alcohol in you.

Jack nods and resumes feasting.

Jack: I know.  That's fine man.  I want the Tag Team Titles as badly as you wanted to be the HCW Champion.

Creature frowns and shakes his head back and forth rapidly.

Creature: No...you'll never want anything as badly as I wanted to be the Champion once again.  No one will.  It is the very fiber of my being.  I must be the HCW Champion to exist, Jack.

Jack: I guess you're right.  I hear you weren't...doing so well before Unleashed.

Creature throws his head back and emits a sick, chilling laugh.

Creature: I've heard that about myself as well, Jack.  All that matters is that I am beter than ever now.  I'm the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion!  I AM ON TOP OF THE WORLD!  I am on top of the singles mountain.  And as of tomorrow night, we will be on top of the Tag Team mountain.

Jack finishes off his portion, and tosses his bowl aside.

Jack: Damn straight.  Look at our opponents?  Markus Maximus- a thug.  A loser.  I mean c'mon, the guy fuckin' lost to Tecno!  And Bobby Rage...he's pathetic.  He couldn't beat Wolverine, and he sure won't be able to take on the man known as the "Hoss."

Creature tilts his head to the side.

Creature: You're exactly right.  Maximus and Rage are pathetic.  But...the "Hoss?"

Jack beams with pride at the sound of his new nickname.

Jack: It's like a big tought, strong, manly man.

Creature: Manly man?

Jack: You know what I mean.  Not manly like Nightmare...he trained in the Dungeon you know.  I hear Stu rapes young men down there.

Creature: Be that as it may, Nightmare is a unique character.  We have to be wary of him out there Jack, we won't know what he's going to try and do.

Jack: You're scared of him?

Creature: Hell no.  He's just completely off his rocker.  He's fucking insane Jack, and out there in front of the world, it can be hard to bring order from chaos.

Jack: (under his breath) Yeah...HE'S insane...

Creature furrows his brow behind his mask and glances at Jack Duncan.

Creature: Did you say something?

Jack shakes his head with a smirk on his face.

Jack: No, nothing.  I'm just thinking about how great it will be to smash the Forsaken and Renegadez, and become the HCW Tag Team Champions, or number one contenders to them.

Creature takes another bite of the Squid Vicious, and sets the bowl aside.  He leans back on his elbows and stares into the flame.

Creature: Jack, the screwy management of HCW has confirmed nothing about our match yet.  I'm going on the assumption it is for the HCW Tag Team Championship, but it will make no difference.  We are the number one team in HCW no matter what, and be it Thursday or beyond, sooner or later, we will be the HCW World Tag Team Champions.

Jack: Yeah.  Ain't that the damn truth.  Look all the teams out there.  The Merciless Alliance...are they even still around?  More importantly, are they even any good?  Justin Mercer is a fucking hack riding on Michael's coat tails, and Michael has only managed to compile his recording breaking run as Continental Champ by beating curtain jerkers and has-bee-

Creature: (interrupting) Has-beens, Jack?  Curtain jerkers, Jack?  While that may be true, he does hold a win over me.  Albeit, Inphino Blitz knocked my feet right out from under me when I was looking for the Abyss.  Plus, Jon Savage screwed the hell out of me for the fans enjoyment.  Those two sons of bitches deserve to fucking die, I hate them, I fuckin-

Jack: (interrupting) Creach, Creach, cool down man.  It's okay.  You'll get him next time.

Creature: I don't think there'll be a next time.

Jack shrugs.

Jack: Don't worry about it man.  Didn't you put Mercer in the Chickenwing anyway?  Didn't you make him cry like a little bitch?

Creature lowers his head and grins as wide as the Earth is round.

Creature: Yeah.  Haha, yes I did!

Jack: And didn't you defeat Inphino Blitz three falls to two at Unleashed?  I mean damn it man, look at the facts- he only beat you twice in that match, once when you got disqualified, and the other when that bastard Complicated got you counted out!

Creature chuckles a bit and sits up.

Creature: You're right Jack.

Jack nods.

Jack: I know.  Now...as I was saying.  We've got the Reunion, or some shit like that.  The Show and Tecno, something like that.  Aren't they facing each other this Thursday?  I mean, what the hell, it's like the Untouchables Part Two.

Creature: Ha, I remember kicking all of their asses.

Jack: Yep, yep.  Then there are the Renegadez and the Forsaken.  Bobby Rage is a joke with all this kickboxing shit.  "Can you take me higheeeer?"  Hell yes, bitch, I can and I will- PILEDRIVER!  DRUNKEN DRIVER!  End of story!

Creature: Heh.  Don't forget Markus.

Jack: Oh I'll never forget Markus!  That little bitch.  Thinks he knows what being a thug is all about.  It'll be a thuggish ruggish Hoss Bomb that seals his motherfucking fate!

Jack shoves off and away from his Jimmy and raises his arms.

Jack: And as far as those retarded fucking Soulz go...they need to remember that I was a part of Pimp Industires!  We both fucking were, damn it!  And we put the Soulz out of business!  I even beat some of them!

Creature chuckles and nods along, listening to Jack but still staring into the blue flame under the wok.

Creature: Wolverine knows that we can kick his ass.  And he knows that if he fucks with me, I'll bury his ass.  But Nightmare is new, and will have to be educated in the art of losing to Creature.

Jack: And who better to tutor his ass than the master of the Piledriver, the Hoss, Jack Duncan?  Creach, you and I, we're the fucking G.O.A.T.s.

Creature's gaze breaks from the flame and is turned towards Jack.

Creature: G.O.A.T.s, Jack?

Jack grins and nods.

Jack: Hell yes.  The Greatest Of All Time, Creach.  The G.O.A.T.s.

Creature: Soon to be the HCW World Tag Team Champions, Jack.

Jack: You got that right.  You got that fucking right!

Jack takes both hands and moves them back and forth across his waist.

Jack: The belts will be ours.

Creature nods, and suddenly lifts his hand up.  He looks down at the ground, where he had felt something crawl over his tired, aching hand.  There, he sees a large beetle, black and shiny, waddling across the ground.

Creature: Ah...look at that Jack.  It looks like...Wolverine.  It looks like Nightmare.  It looks like Bobby Rage and Markus Maximus.  Watch it as it creeps towards its destiny, confident that it will survive, confident that it will not fail in its journey to the top.  Unfortunately for it, for them, it crossed the path of the Master of the Abyss.  Now Jack watch- as it BURNS!

Creature quickly snatches the beetle before it gets the chance to fly away or move out of his reach, and heaves it down into the center of the wok.  Steam surges into the air, and a faint screech is heard.  The intense heat singes the wings of the beetle, and its legs crisp and break.  It writhes in pain, but only for a few seconds, before the great hellfire ignited by the hand of the Hoss takes its life.  Creature smiles as the beetle moves no more, and its cadaver begins to roast, sending an awkward stench into the air.  Jack crines with disgust, but then too joins Creature with a look of jubilation.

Creature: Jack...you have just beheld the unalterable destinies of our four opponents this Thursday night.  Did you like what you saw?

Jack nods and grins widely.

Jack: The Renegadez and the Forsaken will BURN!  Hahaha!

Creature: Yes...and we will be the new...HCW....World...Tag Team....Champions.

Jack: Creach?

Creature: Yeah?

Jack: Are their futures dim?

Creature: Oh, their futures are dimmer than any that has come before them.  But the Abyss...

Jack: Is dimmer?

Creature: You know it Jack.  You know it.

Creature looks around for a minute, then nods to himself.

Creature: I'm going to get in.  Clean this mess up.

Jack: Will do.  It'll be a cinch with the wok.

Creature nods to Jack and begins to walk off towards the passenger side door of the Jimmy, but Jack stops him.

Jack: Hey Creach!

Creature sighs and turns back around to look at him.

Creature: Yeah?

Jack: Don't disturb Lil' Creach.

Creature throws his arms into the air in anger.

Creature: Damn it Jack, when you get the fuck done, I demand you tell me why we have to escort this fucking mini-me around.  Who the hell is this bastard?

Jack: Geez, just get in the damn Jimmy man.  I'll tell you when we hit the road.

Creature: Yeah...

Creature turns and wonders off as Jack cuts off the supply of gas to the burner, then unhooks the tank and rubber hose.  He tosses both carelessly into the back of his Jimmy, then takes the wok by the handle.  With it still smoking, he grabs a bottle of water from the open Jimmy and squirts some water into the pot, steamming it up greatly, causing the water to immediately boil, and sanitizing it as he does.  He then drops the bottle of the water on the ground, throws the wok into the Jimmy, and walks around to the driver's side door of the Jimmy.  He throws it open and climbs in.  As he starts his mobile home of sorts, he looks over at Creature and grins.  Lil' Creach lays with his head thrown back between the two fierce competitors, sleeping soundly.

Jack: Now then...time for the story of Lil' Creach.

Creature snorts and stares straight ahead as the vehicle begins to roll on the open Canadian road once again.  Thursday is almost here- will the Force take the gold?