One month ago, a brave young warrior set out to make something of himself. One month ago, a brave young warrior fought the good fight and strived towards his dream. One month ago, a brave young man tragically tumbled down a mountain. One month ago, a brave young man lay broken and bloody, in the throws of death, at the foot of a massive rock. One month ago, as the world grew cold and dark 'round him, a brave young man saw this face...
...and all was well. One month ago, a brave young man let go, and died with a smile on his face as the wonderful Botan led him to the Afterlife.
That is the story of Valic Tagerath, the pathetic Jack Duncan's Gemstone III character. For those not knowing, Gemstone III is a text based adventure game played over the internet. Thousands play simultaneously and there are at least five hundred people online at all times. It is set on some magical continent, and features several large townships.
Now I have had some experience with Gemstone III and its modern counter part Modus Operandi. I really cannot say which I prefer better, as I've have a lot of great experiences on both, but I'll start with Gemstone III because that's what I started talking about. Anyway, last time I was on, so was Jack, and of course, we teammed up first thing.
One thing you must understand is that on any Simutronics game, just like in e-wrestling, the newbies must watch out for each other because the established guys will walk all over you. This is especially true on Gemstone III, because the established high level jabrons can FUCKING KILL YOU if they want and get away with it. Jack and I kept to ourselves, did some giant rat hunting in some catacombs, and sold crappily prepared pelts for a living. But it wasn't enough. Not for me.
I insisted one night we go on an adventure. Where? I had no fucking clue. All I knew was that there was a big continent out there waiting to be probed by the Force, and I'd be damned if I was going to sit in one damn town and rot for my 30 day free trial like Jack is willing to do. I talked Jack into adventuring with me, we got a map of the continent, and began preparing. We picked a destination, the Citadel. It wasn't too far from our town, but was far off enough to provide a good journey. And more importantly, it seemed as though it would be a place for us to acquire great new skills. Keep that in mind.
Anyway, we geared up and set out. From the very beginning, things were grim. We entered a cave not too far off from the town and met up with a large party of experienced warriors...who were getting their skulls bashed in by a pissed off orc. Not cool at all. Seriously- I said, "Hey, can we tag along for a while?" to this one guy, and he looked over at me and before he could respond, the orc FUCKING RIPPED HIS HEAD OFF. Jack and I decided the best thing to do would be to run, so we fled like girls and hid in an underground stream until the orc was long gone and the other party had been sufficiently obliterated.
We resumed out journey and exited the cave. We ran from a few monsters which we knew would kick our asses at this point, and more or less prayed we didn't get killed before we reached the Citadel. We just KNEW the Citadel would bring us great joy. Keep that in mind.
We eventually reached another town, although it was abandoned- come to find out, everyone there had earlier been BRUTUALLY SLAUGHTERED by DEMONS from HELL. We did help ourselves to some lemon snow cones before leaving, however, so all is good.
Next up, we reached the end of our adventure- some waterfall labrynth infested with beasts. Yes my friends, our journey ended there, and I'll leave it at that. One thing is for sure- we never reached the Citadel. And that is a GOOD THING, because as it turns out, the Citadel is the most feared place on the continent this side of Parts Unknown. It is the place where great warriors, unlike ourselves, go to fucking DIE and call themselves heroes. I just thought it was an interesting piece of irony that the "holy grail" we sought in our adventure would ultimately have been our violent and gruesome deaths.
Alright, enough about my experiences. I was really hoping to talk about Valic Tagerath, a recent Jack Duncan Gemstone III character as I mentioned earler, but hell, there isn't much to say. He too sought adventure, and he ended up falling off a fucking mountain. His death was sad though- after tumbling down the side of the mountain, he lay writhing in agony on the ground with two broken legs, a broken arm, a busted open skull, and a huge gash down his chest. It took fifteen minutes for him to finally give up the ghost, and in that time he managed to release several meek, "Help me"s, all which fell on deaf ears. I actually thought it was a pretty funny story. Anyway, don't feel to bad, because like I have explained to all you idiots before, he had this to look forward to...
I'm borderline obsessed with Botan, so I best stop it now. I must say however, I do believe she edges out Sailor Mars for 1st place on my Hottest Anime Women list. I feel like maybe telling some stories about Modus Operandi, the other online game we've dabbled in, but I might reserve that for another Thought completely. There is just so much to say about the adventures of Nick Kelly and Bruce Cochran, Jack and Troy Duncan, and Nick and Jack Van Dam. To give you a taste of the hilarity Jack and I created on this game, here are some famous quotes and scenes that I can recall:
Woman: So Jack Duncan...is Troy your brother?
Jack Duncan: Yep.
[Woman waves at Troy.]
Woman: Hi Troy.
[Troy Duncan is silent but violent.]
Woman: Oh my...what's wrong?
[Troy Duncan is silent but violent.]
Woman: Um...
[Troy Duncan is silent but violent.]
Woman: I'm leaving. You two are scary.
[Woman leaves.]
How about this scene:
Man: So Nick Van Dam, huh? Any relation to Jean Claude?
[Nick Van Dam shakes his head.]
Nick Van Dam: No, Rob.
[Man looks confused.]
And as for Nick...Good God there are a lot. The time he made out with a homosexual man in a telephone booth, the time he trip and fell and claimed he broke his back, the time he murdered an old man in a cave, the list goes on, and on, and on. Good times. Too bad rules have restricted all fun.
Alright, enough about Simutronics and the fun that used to be had. Let's talk about the WWF draft. Or not, because it really sucked. I hope the trades not only even things out, but make everything cool, because so far SmackDown! is the show to watch, and that of course means no RVD or IC/Euro belts for me to see at all. I am also dissapointed in the fact that they aren't using the split as an opportunity to elevate the European Title back to the glory it had for its first 4 months as being equal to the Intercontinental Championship. With two promotions essentially, I don't think having two secondary champions is such a bad idea. Hell, with one promotion, I don't think having titles that mean something is such a bad idea either, so maybe I'm crazy.
And one more note about the WWF. It appears Steve Austin is pissed because of the political backstage scene that supposedly the nWo has created. Stone Cold- I have news for you- YOU CREATED THE POLITICAL BACKSTAGE SCENE. What? That's right. You tried to hold back HHH in '99, you screwed over Jarrett and Billy Gunn, you get your way everytime but are never happy unless you are the WWF Champion and the perennial main eventer, and damn it man, YOU SHOULD HAVE JOBBED TO SCOTT HALL. YOU ARE THE REASON THE DRAFT SUCKS. YOU. So listen up Steve- CRT 3:16 says to get your damned head out of your ass and fix what YOU caused. Don't no show and protest. Don't bitch to Vince because you don't like the WWF's current direction- which is one in which the company makes money and scores high ratings as opposed to what Austin apparently enjoys- low ratings and losses of over $10 million a year! What? I said give the damn nWo and split a chance.
On a lighter note, the PCW is going down the tubes fast, but I won't abandon it. In fact, sooner than later I'm going to apply as many different characters to help pump up the roster, and hopefully I'll win my first Lightweight Championship. Please note: I promised Jack that I would compete in his federation before I retired from competition, and so I am competing in the PCW, but am still officially retired.
And finally...the EWA. Things are coming along well. Our first show is Sunday and I am in control, so it should be great. We have some great talent and some great angles worked out, so hopefully it will all be pretty fun and easy to handle.
I'm Out
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