and it must follow, as the night the day,
thou canst not be then false to any man.
Polonius' advice might not seem particularly germane to the past two weeks of Mudhens baseball - Shakespeare, after all, was a Fort Covington fan - but there is more wisdom in his words than one might perceive. In weeks past, the Mudhens had lost themselves, refusing to embrace their talent, refusing to even acknowledge its existence. The Mudhens were a team wtihout a goal; at times, they seemed almost to be a time without a hope.
That feeling was never more palpable than during the course of the home doubleheader against Lyon Mountain. Dan Hoffman, ever the shining star for the Mudhens this season, was subjected to a Clubber Lang-esque pounding at the hands of the league leaders, surrendering Bailey Bomb after Bailey Bomb until the game mercifully drew to a close. In the afternooncap, the 'Hens turned a laugher into a barnburner, a Dave Davidson longball sending the tilt into extra frames. It was at this point that your humble writer realized the true depths of the Mudhens' depression. The 'Hens had just staged a remarkable comeback, and yet the prevailing mood in the stands was that they would not win this game. When Scott Baker sent a grand salami sailing into the night to put the contest back out of reach, the reaction was more akin to resignation than disappointment.
That resignation would develop into desperation by the following Sunday. The Mudhens needed to sweep Tupper to earn a home playoff game; moreover, they needed to win by an aggregate score of at least four runs. The team limped into Saranac, their home away from home, with the guillotine hanging over their heads and the prospect of a trip to Tupper looming before them. And then something magical happened: they found themselves. On a miserable day and in a miserable situation, your 'Hens absolutely exploded. Matt Rivers blooped a hit, his doppleganger bunted a single, Mike Bergman sent a Lefty Wilson no-doubter careening off of the fence, and C. R. Tunes never looked back, pounding the Timberjaxx into submission before the day saw its second inning. Dan Hoffman, though still stymied at the plate, was able to breeze through the contest on a pittance of pitches, a fact which allowed him to carry his blazing speedball over into the second game.
Any doubt with regard to the outcome of the doubleheader was eradicated before 15 minutes of the second game had elapsed. Having feasted on the crafty but velocity-challenged Kyle Seymour, C. R. Tunes set their sights on the more electric Ryan Desmarais, and bludgeoned him to the point where he was incapable of completing an inning's work. Everyone played well: Dan's pitching was superb; everyone else's hitting was fantastic; Jim Calnon, Dana MacDougal and I all made garbage shots from the bleachers. To call the performance dominant would be understating the 'Hens' feat, and to call it overpowering would still fail to convey the gusto with which Barnard's Bombers ground Tupper Lake into the Pickett's Corners dirt. Last Sunday, the Mudhens wouldn't have beaten any team in the CVBL; they would have crushed any team in the CVBL.
A few years back, any local baseball follower could have glanced at the Mudhens' roster and made a number of assumptions about every game they played. Mike Bergman would hit you hard every time he stepped to the plate, and blow it by you every time you stepped to the plate. Mike Bordeau and Dave Davidson would crush the ball...every...single...time. The Rivers twins would reach first base more often than the Fonz. This season, those assumptions, so true in years past, seemed to have been forgotten. C. R. Tunes was a team of large names and small numbers, subsisting from week to week on a level of play reserved for mere mortals. In Saranac on Sunday, however, the 'Hens remembered who they were, and what they could do. And now Mike Bergman hits you hard every time he steps to the plate, and blows it by you every time you step to the plate. And now Mike Bordeau and Dave Davidson crush the ball...every...single...time. And now the Rivers twins reach first base more often than the Fonz. Next weekend, Tupper Lake comes into town again, this time with playoff survival at stake. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be then false to any 'Hen. Be there.
MUDHEN ROUNDUP!
RAFFLERS REJOICE! - The annual C. R. Tunes Mudhens raffle was held at the Lyon Mountain games. Dozens of fabulous prizes were distributed to happy fans, all of whom were named Davidson. Inside info indicates that all Auntie Anne's pretzels have already been redeemed. That's our Dave!
MOZLTOV! - Fans attending the Lyon Mountain games were treated to a very special birthday appearance by ace Dan Hoffman's family. Despite Dan's somewhat uncharacteristic performance, the Hoffmans did their darndest to keep things positive, joking and generally having a good time as each homerun made its exit from Lefty. They would have made the fan page if I wasn't an idiot who forgot to take a picture of them. Oh well.
MOVE OVER, MACARENA! - There's a new phenomenon sweeping the nation, and it has nothing to do with reality TV shows about gay people or how carbs are the devil. Mudhen slugger Dave Davidson, y'see, has lent his name to a catchphrase that's spread like wildfire over the past weeks. Any generally lacadasical effort is now referred to by Dave's surname; a shortstop failing to lay out to snatch a ground ball, for example, would be "Davidsoning" his way around the infield. When reached for comment, Dave was too tired to issue a response.
SERIOUSLY, WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? - Mudhens Superfan Grace Bergman had to be helped into her car after a panicked hysterical outburst at the onset of a thunderstorm in Saranac. Already pushed to the breaking point by fear of being struck by lightning, Bergman wildly overreacted to a throwaway "Save yourselves" joke by A. P. Bennett, dissolving into a fit of insane laughter. Concerned onlookers wondered aloud whether it isn't time for Grace to start following the games via this website from the safety of her home.
MIDWEEK MATCHUP - The Mudhens will play an exhibition affair against the American Legion Post 20 Mariners this Tuesday UNDER THE LIGHTS at Lefty Wilson Field. Dan Hoffman is expected to go 3-5 with two homeruns. Come on out, and have yourselves a pleasant evening!