Alright, Rissy and I MYSTified my story, stealing from Caitlin and Arms...so enjoy...once again, something is wrong with ff.net, it says someone already is using my e-mail...I don't know what that means...
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Rissy: Hi everybody, I'm Rissy, or ChunkyMonkey on the TLW board.
roxton: And I'm roxton, or...uh, roxton?
Rissy: We're stealing this idea, without shame, mind you, from Chris and Caitlin, who did a marvelous job on ASIG's story The Zoo.
roxton: And now we've decided to MYStify my own story, A Plain Simple Dream
Rissy: So sit back...
roxton: ...relax...
Rissy: ...and enjoy the show, er, read.
roxton: And I'm working with her why...
"A Plain, Simple Dream"
"You would not believe the dream I had last night," Ned Malone said drowsily, blinking at the bright morning sun.
Rissy: You're right, we won't, but tell us anyway.
roxton: Although you should know that none of the inhabitants of the tree house are certified dream interpreters.
"Oh we wouldn't? Why don't you try us and see?" Lord John Roxton sat at the dinner table, poking at his breakfast.
Roxton: And Lord John Roxton is poking at what, pray tell?
Rissy: Eggs of course, what else..wait, seems to me there's a lil bit of bacon in there along with some chicken, if I'm not mistaken.
"If this is another one of your 'We get off the Plateau' fantasies Ned, I swear." Veronica Layton grinned fiendishly, looking up at Ned from her seat across from Roxton.
roxton: Why do people say that? What are they swearing? Yeah, we all know Veronica could kick Roxton's derriere, but still...
Rissy: True, true, true. You know, I never would have thought Veronica even knew a swear word but listening to her now, just swearing left and right...Makes you wonder the kind of Trogs she''s been hanging around with...tsk tsk.
"Or one of your fantasies about our lovely Veronica..." Marguerite Krux trailed off, flashing Veronica an equally fiendish grin. Veronica smiled faintly, and Ned blushed.
roxton: We really did NOT need to hear that...
Rissy: LOL...can't think, must...eat...chocolate...
"No, no, nothing like that. It was the damnedest thing. I woke up, it was the middle of the night, and none of you were here. I walked around the tree house, and found all these rooms I didn't know existed. There were four of them, one for each of you."
Rissy: Really? The damnedest? Wow, you were right Ned...it's the Damnedest. You can walk and not get hit over the head.
roxton: On another note, where exactly would the others be in the middle of the night?
George Challenger broke in. "What do you mean, for each of us?"
roxton: And what exactly is he breaking in to? Another commonly used expression that makes NO sense whatsoever...
Rissy: Other examples include "Blah, blah, blah" and "Yak, yak, yak." People really don't sound like that when they're talking.
roxton: True, true.
"And what about Summerlee?" Veronica asked.
Rissy: Poor Summerlee...
roxton: What about Summerlee, Veronica? You know something we don't? Hm...HM!
"There was no room for Summerlee, and I mean Challenger, that it was like I was inside your mind. It was incredibly strange. They reflected your personalities. Marguerite's was all gold and glittery, with a huge four-poster bed and an amazing amount of rare and exotic jewelry and stones strewn about."
roxton: I think Malone here has a bit of a thing for the obvious...Marguerite and gold? Come on man! Couldn't you come up with something a bit more original?
Rissy: Dogs are Man's best friend, Diamonds are a Girl's best friend...tell me who's smarter?
roxton: I would, but then you''d hit me.
Rissy: (hits him anyway)
roxton: OW!!!
"Sounds nice." Marguerite interrupted.
roxton: (holding his head) Oh, the irony...wouldn't you like to hit me too Marguerite? Wouldn't you!?
"It was. Roxton had an assortment of rifles and pistols, some hunting trophies, the like. Oddly enough though," He said, nodding at Marguerite, "your room and Roxton's had a connecting hallway...and only one bathroom.""
Rissy: LOL, one bathroom, I wonder what those two are up to late at night...
roxton: You've got a perverted mind my dear...
Rissy: Learned it from you.
Marguerite smiled. "John...?"
roxton: So is that short for Jonathon or something? How come we never hear anyone calling him Johnny?
Rissy: That I would love to see..."Oh Johnny..."
roxton: And if he ever goes insane again... "Here's Johnny!!"
Rissy: "Run, Marguerite, Run!!"
"Now that sounds nice." Roxton smiled back at Marguerite, and Malone continued.
roxton: Hm...this is the second time our comments have tied in with the story. This is getting somewhat frightening
"Challenger's was, of course, one big laboratory. I didn't see a bed, just lots and lots of tubes and wires, vats of things and many, many machines."
Rissy: Beds? Who needs beds?
roxton: My bed is just a mattress, we got rid of everything else.
Rissy: (whispering) Shut up...that has nothing to do with the story!
roxton: Sorry...
"Looks like Challenger came up with a way to sleep while still working."
roxton: That's physically impossible...you'd go crazy...see things...not good.
Challenger laughed. "Now that is one invention I wouldn't mind not inventing."
roxton: What the hell does that mean?
Rissy: Beats me!!!
When Malone failed to continue recounting his dream, and instead started eating, Veronica looked at him. "What about my room, Ned?"
roxton: God, you're impatient. Let the man eat! Men need food you know! We aren't machines!!!!
Rissy: Yes you are, what do you mean you're not a machine?
roxton: Okay...that can be taken on many levels...*cough*...moving RIGHT along.
"Oh yes. Surprisingly, your room was the strangest of them all."
Rissy: Surprising!?! What's surprising about it we all know you want to share a room with her, just get it over with and tell her!
roxton: It's probably the strangest because he spent the most time there??
"And just why is that surprising?"
roxton: Yeah girlfriend! Come on, give him what he has coming!!!
Rissy: I need an adult!! I need an adult!! HELP!!!
"Uh...well, I don't know, it just seemed that way. I wasn't even sure if it was your room. Using the process of deduction, seeing that the other three were all represented by rooms, I figured the last one was yours."
roxton: He's falling into a hole...deeper...deeper...DIG OUT!!! DIG OUT!! (starts making digging motions with his hands)
Rissy: Riiiiiight, (few minutes pass by as roxton goes deeper in to the earth) How deep are you now? (looks down into the hole)
roxton: (in his best William Shatner voice) I'm...just...fine...Oh...GOD! Light...growing...dimmer...can't...breath..
"So it could have been Summerlee's?" Marguerite asked.
Rissy: No, Marguerite, IT'S NOT SUMMERLEE's!! (whispers to roxton) Can't that girl take a hint?
roxton: Apparently not
"No, um...," Malone coughed suddenly, "The room was, uh, it was definitely not Summerlee's."
roxton: AHH! He's choking! Someone call 911! Someone call 911! Oh God, they're on a plateau, no phones!! AHHH!, and they're British, no 911!!! AHHHH, and it's 1918 or so, wouldn't matter!!
Rissy: No, see all you do is hit him over head with something heavy.
roxton: Ash will get mad at you for saying that.
"And why is that?" Roxton inquired.
By this time Malone had turned a bright shade of red. "Well, I find it very, very doubtful that...well, that Summerlee would ever wear a corset, or a lily-red ballroom gown."
Rissy: Well, you don't know what he does in his private life, he might. (coughs) Yeah right. Besides, if you stay that color you'll match him.
roxton: Not even going to touch that one...
Rissy: (singsong voice) ...I wouldn't touch you...with a 49 and a half foot po-le!!!
The entire group, with the exception of Malone and Veronica, exploded in laughter. Veronica had a slight smile on her lips, but didn't laugh.
roxton: Damn whoever wrote this...!
Rissy: (whispering) That was you...
roxton: Yes, well, then damn me! Damn me for using so many STUPID figures of speech! Nobody can EXPLODE in laughter! It makes NO sense!
"Why Malone, you look positively flustered." Marguerite exclaimed, between bouts of laughing. Malone continued blushing, and eventually the merriment subsided, and conversation returned to Malone's dream.
Rissy: Interesting word choice here...Bouts? Flustered? Merriment?
roxton: Yes, um, uh...er, moving along.
"So what do you think the dream meant?" Veronica asked Malone.
Rissy: Ummmm maybe that's what he thinks of all of you...
roxton: (whispers to himself) Yeah, um, right.
Rissy: What was that roxton?
roxton: Nothing, nothing at all.
Rissy: Excuse me folks, we're having some technical difficulties we'll be back in a few minutes. (moves towards roxton)
roxton: Oh sh-!
Rissy: roooooxxxxxton!!!!!! (crash, crash, boom, boom, boom....)
roxton: (pops back into view) Don't worry...(thunk)...everything is...(ducks)...under control...(WHAM)
Rissy: (jumps on top of roxton, starts pulling at his hair) Yes, we're fine...hold on a tic please...
roxton: You fight like a girl!!!
Rissy: I am a girl!!!
roxton: Damn it!
(a few minutes later)
Rissy: (a little disheveled) We're back!
roxton: (quite disheveled, hair torn, shirt missing sleeve, et cetera) Yes...and, ARGH, better...than ever...(passes out)
"I have no idea. I've never had one like it before. Has anyone here had one like it?"
Rissy: Nope, but for all we know, roxton here could be having one as we speak. (leans over roxton) Wake up! Wake up!
roxton: Humph...grumble, grumble, HUH! What!?
Marguerite shook her head. "I don't think so, and it doesn't sound like one I'd like to have."
Rissy: Nope. I've never had a dream like that before, but then again you didn't ask me, sooooo.....
roxton: Moving on before she gets too carried away.
Roxton nodded. "I can't recall ever dreaming about rooms that way."
roxton: In what way have you dreamed about rooms?
Rissy: Yes...do tell!
"Nor can I." Challenger agreed.
They all turned to look at Veronica. She looked a bit embarrassed, but just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry Ned, looks like you're alone on this one."
Rissy: Well aren't you all just a bunch of fun.

roxton: You're all so dull...
"Ah, well it was interesting, at least. I''ll give it that."
Rissy: Yeah, wasted three pages...
roxton: I heard that!
"Interesting isn't the word I'd use to describe what we've got to do today. Tell me again why we have to clean the entire tree house, top to bottom Veronica?"
roxton: Let's not ruin the last bit of this...
Rissy: Oh, and what we've been doing is now ruining?
roxton: Well, we are interpreting things in our narrow little minds, no?
Rissy: No, actually.
roxton: Oh...
"It's Spring Cleaning John, it's tradition." Marguerite was the one who answered.
Rissy: Hey! She called him John!!
roxton: Interesting...
Rissy: Must you say that?
roxton: Yes.
"I think I'll get off to the laboratory and start tidying up down there." Challenger said, rising from his chair.
"Oh no you don't!" Veronica exclaimed, jumping up. "You're going to help us this time." She grabbed Challenger's arm and thrust a broom into it. "Get working!"
Rissy: Pah! Men...always trying to get out of their jobs...
Roxton: Not true! Not true!
As the rest of the group began to file away from the table and go about their chores, Malone stayed seated, lost in thought. He watched as Veronica and Roxton fought over a second broom, and smiled to himself. He hadn't told them about where he fit into his dream. No, he hadn't told them about the fact that the room that Veronica slept in also happened to be his. Just as John and Marguerite would eventually get together, so would he and Veronica, Malone was sure of it.
Rissy: Mushy, mushy, mushy!
roxton: Stop it...you're scaring the readers!
Rissy: You can't break the fourth wall
roxton: We already have! Remember the fight?
Rissy: Oh yeah...
THE END
roxton: Or not! Maybe it's just the beginning! For all you know, this could turn into a multiple chapter novel about dreams in The Lost World!
Rissy: But, it won't!
roxton: Okay, pessimist! But seriously people, the story may be over, but you've got to read on for a bit so we can finish up.
Rissy: Yeah, now that we have your attention, we've got some things we have to tell you!
roxton: (unfolds a piece of paper) First off...
Rissy: Well...?
roxton: (whispering) There's nothing written here...
Rissy: What!
roxton: There isn't anything written here!
Rissy: You said you'd take care of it!
roxton: Well I thought I had more time!
Rissy: You idiot!
roxton: Hey! I have self-esteem issues! I don't need this! (begins to walk away)
Rissy: (to herself) Hm...should I go after our poor depressed roxton, or stay here and bask in the glow of the ending to our work of art?
(roxton sits down at a piano that materialized out of nowhere)
Rissy: Uh-oh.
roxton: (singing) "It's five o'clock on a Saturday...the regular crowd shuffles I-n! There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin..."(fades out as we return to Rissy)
Rissy: Uh, yeah, I think he needs help...
roxton: (singing) "sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight!"
Rissy: Here I go...(runs to where roxton is playing the piano, grabs a mike, jumps on top of the piano...)
roxton & Rissy: (singing) "He says Bill I believe this is killing me, as a smile ran away from his face??well I'm sure that I could be a movie star, if I could get out of this place..."
Announcer: We would like to apologize for the terrible singing, poor taste, and just plain badness of this parody. Oh, and we have no affiliation with TLW or Newline Cinemas, and all that...so don't sue...um...
roxton &  Rissy &  Announcer: (singing) "Now Paul is a real-estate novelist..."
EVERYONE: (singing)"And he's talking with Davey, who's still in the Navy, and probably will be for life!"
(MUSICAL INTERLUDE)
EVERYONE: (singing) "And the waitress is practicing politics, as the businessmen slowly gets stoned...Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, well it's better than drinking alone..."
THE END
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